It took me a long time to realize, that not everything we seek is meant to be our beautiful story.
That, not every person we meet or feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us.
That, not everyone we create a home with is meant to last long with us.

I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for being too much
I'm sorry for caring too much, loving you with a heart too wide that no one else could.
For putting up with you even when showed me I meant nothing,
I stayed. I still stayed.

I'm sorry for needing more than you could provide
For the intensity, for the words that spill over uncontrolled
For the emotions that soar like kites
I'm sorry for the spaces I tried to feel in, for the constant checkins
For the dreams I built, for the plans that grew way too fast, I'm sorry.

I choose to love you in silence because loving in silence there is no rejection
For you've made me harder to love
I'm often overthinking, fighting endless battles in my mind,
And I...I be the judge of my mind too
So I'll end up forgiving...and forgiving...and forgiving too much

Because I've never been your first and only choice
Never been enough for you
I think I'll be better off without anyone
And that way I'll put my SMILE BACK AGAIN.

Baby...I miss you...
I miss the voice when you wake up...
I miss that early voice that catches my smile while...
Others catch the warmth...
I miss that morning smile served in a hot plate... By the bed...they say...
They say that love.....love is blind and that the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but no....
No...my love I can see...I can see clearly, I'm not blind but you can call me Arsenal coz... I've fallen for you

Call me man-city... Oh...I mean wo-man of the city coz I... I carry the title... I carry the title bold for you....

So baby...you can nickname me man-united...I mean... Wo-man united coz i talk too much....coz I'm crazy and I love making noises for you....only for you to notice me.

And baby... I tend to take everything with me...But I leave my heart for you... Oh...I mean... I liv-a-pool of heartfelt affection for you my lovely one.....I live-r-pool for you 'coz even if I conquer, I tend to retaliate in your presence love.

But yes, you can do it...you're allowed to press CTRL+Z...forget everything, but remember...when you're ready...press CTRL+A, CTRL+C from me and like my best friend Chel...see you have started judging me...before I finish her beautiful name... SEA.

I always stare at my body imprinted into the mirror
The way my  **s flattens and my chest correspond a like two old friends who are never apart at heart. See, I have been struggling dealing with the girl staring back at me, wondering if I see what everyone else sees. But I just cant help but wish to look better than her.  Call me a loser I don't care, but I just cant figure out why food tastes like trash , every meal draws me away like a mad dog. I feel most beautiful, take the sexiest pictures when I'm alone in the room but loose the confidence in the sight of everyone else.  So I stuff my mouth with the most promising words, " I'll be beautiful one day" Dreams that will never exist. Insecurities

I always stare at my body imprinted into the mirror
The way my  **s flattens and my chest correspond a like two old friends who are never apart at heart. See, I have been struggling dealing with the girl staring back at me, wondering if I see what everyone else sees. But I just cant help but wish to look better than her.  Call me a loser I don't care, but I just cant figure out why food tastes like trash , every meal draws me away like a mad dog. I feel most beautiful, take the sexiest pictures when I'm alone in the room but loose the confidence in the sight of everyone else.  So I stuff my mouth with the most promising words, " I'll be beautiful one day" Dreams that will never exist. Insecurities

We never even dated
so it would be unwise to say so
kept my heart at high hopes
one day you'll see the worth
promised we'd be inseparable  
but it started to fade away

Quickly let me note it down
before it all disappears
In a translucent dream
like a vision, I'd see us
Flourishing together

For a moment, reading Romeo and Juliet
Got me thinking maybe they would have
Approached things differently
I would be the Juliet if you'd see the Romeo
Hidden deep in you

Screaming silently but the tongue is ripped and torn
My mind unable to think anymore
My heart in denial
But the body is still strong and pushing

Hating on you would be an option
leaving would be by choice
But I choose to stay
To revive the dead Romeo
And butter up my swollen heart

And the evening comes,
They'll all say they knew you.
They'll gonna say sweet words about you
Posting your lively pictures lamenting
Why you left so early
Why you never gave them heads up.
R.I.Ps gonna be so sweet and angelic.
But when morning shines,
They'll all forget your existence
They'll move and enjoy what they got
What you left for them.
YOU'LL BE A HISTORY
So whatever you gotta do,
Do it knowing, with or without you
The world is gonna keep goin'

Given opportunity I'll choose a dare,
Silently my heart will ooze
With the game of dare
We will make fun of it.
But silently i chose to bury
My unbearable bitter truth.

Wait a minute!
How do you generate a secret?
Simple!
Just by the words "Can I tell you a secret?"
There, everyone knows its a secret.
Something forbiden
Something meant for you only.
Not to be told.


But wait!
How about you just, say it
How about you just make it like one pep talk?
They wont realise its a secret
They wont remember
They wont bother
They wont consider talking about it.

Here is how a human mind is made
Once it perceives a secret
Connects it to your heart
Your heart becomes restless
Itchy mouth so uncomfortable until,
Until you decide to talk to someone
Supposively, a friend
And the chain goes, on and on

Just like a tale
Its easily forgotten when its not a secret
Than when given the ' Secret crown concoxion"

Every time you are out of sight
I'm dying just to see you
Your presence makes
Life feel like hell
But i'm left with nothing
Wishing that i can see you
    Just one more time.

Love so sweet
Yet so cruel
i keep asking myself
Why does it have to exist?
Why was feelings created?
But all my whys'
Are left unanswered

It feels impossible
How do we rewrite our story?
What title do we give it?
Of how we gonna be
I wish i can be a poet but i cant
Love feels like a cage of vengeance.

The urge to be somebody we can't be
Is thus rampant associated fashionable
that's sold-out in empty tins
and therefore the taglines...
Are the snippers from an grade degree
That dictates the standards of their own targets


and that we are all subjected to the flow
Of this beauty
Not knowing that
we have a tendency to are all living within the flaws
Of this same beauty
That we embrace
Ironic

currently let ME pause,
Asking an issue that
each man tends to overlook, where...
wherever is that the beauty?.. The beauty,
Man slaughtering their own blood
And flesh, where is the sweetness?

Would like to write a lot of
Question more
hunt for the beauty more
however I guess...
Pausing there would be my drugs

There are two facts you need to know
I have grown a foot taller
Twice wiser than you left
I have mother's uninhibited, restless, both perfect
and imperfect
                 CHARACTER

5 years down the line
You still are fresh in my mind
Your face printed like a 3D picture
Still glowin'
Bright teeth shinnin'
All i know is
You are here with me.

Wish I could shout it again and again
I know you are watchin' over me
Sister, I got someone now
Someone worth a world

All his perfections and imperfections add up
       UNIQUE
He's become my end and beginnin'
Even when I loose, I'm winnin'
He's got it all.

Wish i could see you
One more time
Tell you that am happy
         AGAIN

How long can i wait?
How fast this life goes by
Like a blink of an eye
I shall be waiting
Till forever,love you mine

Allow me to hide my love in your heart
Allow me keep it safe where we won't part
It feels no pain , full of love
Your love has made me crazy , made me insane.

Time flies, like a shooting star in the sky.
So is my love for you it will stay
As time goes by.
My love is eternal and my heart agrees.


Make me a small promise
This is real and it lives we live.
My heart beats along with your heartbeat.
I will follow your soul where it leads.

How fast time goes by
So hold me, make me try.
Love me till i cry.
Tears of joy , lemme be your prey
Till eternity i'll pray
Love you mine, you will see

There is a brighter light in the end of this journey
Yet i stumble again
But i hope this journey is right
Thought i was wrong until today
When i see so bright the love in your eyes
The lights keeps shining so bright
Honey , lets make this right and memorable.
Like never before.


How long must I wait for you to see us there?
Tell me , how am i gonna prove that...
This will be like never before?
So much like never before.
I'm gonna love you more
How much? I don't seem to know
But i'm sure it's gonna be like never before.

Red lights all over us.
Waiting for our downfall , you know!
But wait! What are we going to tell them?
It's like never before , right?

I can feel the fragrance of your breath.
The touch of your fingers around my neck.
The warmth of your lips , gently touching mine.
Carassing in love , the moment so divine...

Like no other day , never before,
This is the day we will remember
Full of love and our souls to surrender.
Lemme stay in your arms , love me more.
Your princess
Treasure this moments , like never before !

What's the point.....
The point of keeping it together?
When all it does is to separate
What's the point of explaining a situation?
To them when a they see is a little busted trying to prove herself right?
When all you see is a bunch of evil-minded people ready to feast on your flesh?
The world has people
People left with no emotions
No hope of future
All they say "let's live in the moment"
Money has become their god, their second heart
Peace became a vocabulary
No point of "lets make this right!"
Slogan is "If you can't beat them,join them" kind of world.

Pain,i cry to let it go
But it keeps recurring
Can't imagine how hurting it is
The pain of letting go

So good at comforting
But the words,,
You use to comfort others
Are the words you wish to hear

At a point of time
     We all have received
            Or
Made a wrong phone call
But the right phone call
       Ever
Is the one from our hearts

It rings at the right time and for the right person

At the beginning of this poem
I had in  mind  a  glass   shape
And  so  i  carefully   designed
   Each line,carefully written
      Emptied chardonnay
          Down my throat      
              But the poem
                Not quite as
                  It should
                    Be,some
                       Lines
                       Were
                     Too long
                  My spellings
              Were very wrong
       And my rhyming scheme as well as the shape, had completely
Disappeared by the  end  of  it  all
            Just a wine glass

Several years have passed
Hopes held so high
Maybe one day you will,
Come back to us on your own will

Daddy couldn't talk about you
Fear of your mention becoming a torture
Your sudden disappearance
Pulling mother and father down

She's only thirteen now
Mother is aging you know
But everyday's question,
Will you come back to us?

All your dreams i'll fulfill
Promises you made i will
But our hearts are left in dispair
Tearsdrops like raindrops

I won't blame God's plan
But the hole left inside never filled
Souls left in torn
Squeezed in thorns
We really miss you,our miss

As i put down my pen
This is the last drop
Your wish is us to be happy
Its up than the spirits

Your creations,i will handle
Your dreams,i'll take
Upon my shoulders i make
To fulfill them for you
But this is my last drop

You left me in the pit
You said i couldn't fit
To you it was lit
I becoming a deadbeat
    Useless kit

I lost my feet
You said i wasn't fit to fit on your sit or your feet
And you meant it
And now am the heat
I bet you need my hint

I was in need
But we couldn't meet
I had to feed on a rotten meat and seeds
I had to read,on how to bleed
In pain with no gain
I lived in a train with strains of pain and strains
Tied with chains of ails,fixed with wrecked nails
Now that am the heat
You need my hint

Your success was so brief
Like my belief in grief
The lord turned the leaf and now you are stiff
In just a glimpse,you fell off the cliff

The "ME" you used to tease
Is now at peace
Taking life at ease
Now that am the heat
You need my hint

I didn't cause your fall
But now its me you call
You had no feelings,such a doll!
Your actions i recall
But now i will stand tall
And take a stroll
Roll a poll on what to install against your fall

You treated me ill
But that's not my skill
I got a drill because your dreams i cant ****
Instead,your dreams i'll refill
And that's my will
Now am the heat
You need my hint

I hope you remember
The last December
I wasn't a member
In all your tenders
You were busy with that gender
Occupied by your own agenda
While i focused on the calendar
With one agenda
To be a leader
Not only a leader but a winner
And a mentor
For all the gender
Now i'm the heat
You need my hint

Paper full penned

Gone are the days that we used to force ink out of the pen

Trying to bring up a solution out of a forgotten chemical formulae

Gone are the days,we used to force love out a dragon mouth

Instead,we'll make it emit more fire

Gone are the sacrifical days,when one could die for others

In the name of love,one could be imprisoned

We now stand for ourselves and let the bygones be bygones

We call it the Forbidden

They all are watching our backs

Courageous,loving and responsible,their families,husband and children,the reason they work tirelessly

Action speaks louder

So serious and allegic to silliness
Happily creating fun for families

Just look at their fashion
Always on point
How great they look
They always speak from their hearts

Of course no mother can let her kid get injured
The best warriors without physical weapon
That's more than love

Trust me everything about them is an art

Our mothers' roots so deep
More than a gem stone,they are the strong pillar of our families
Just awesome having great mothers around

You sign a pact,becoming a woman
A pact of thinking before you act
Cut off the act,of reasoning without facts
All i request of you,
       Think before you act

You are inspired by ****** desires
Even to the upcoming women,
Is a shame to the entire
To the retired,your actions,
We are tired
All i need from you,
    Think before acting

Before you seal your own fate
Think through your steps,
Think of your fate
And your next generation instead,
All i request from you
   Think before you act

And of course there is law
To ensure you dont act low
But let not that flow on your floor
Instead just grow
Am sure you will glow

Finally i put my pen down
If left,would write till dawn
Do not inspire regrets
Of the higher rates

Just be the knight in a crusade
The reason that inspires men
To stop violence against women
All i ask is think before you act

Onions smells so strong,
But their skin so flimsy

Physical look of an eggshell
     So strong
But in reality easily breakable

Some like the child's playhouse
Made of foam so fragile

Just like the onion juice
That can make one cry
So is a person's heart

So weak ,breakable by inner emotions
All it needs is care
Cause its so flimsy

And if someday
    I wont be available
Anymore
Just keep me in
Your heart
   Its my safest home forever

Its tickling me again
Its like a twine against me
Noises are everywhere
Everything seems to be talking again

Don't tell me she's here again
She's always here to embarrass me
Always against me
Fighting against my will

Schizophrenia who are you
Please let me be
Leave me alone

I want to be free
I want to be alone
Free from this cage

Voices are haunting me
They won't let me rest
I only need a rescuer
To chase this enemy away
Just leave me alone

Dear addiction the first time we met i knew i had fallen in love with you

I did not realize that you were here to bring me down

Slowly you drove away my little friends,love,joy,peace,patience all gone

Dear addiction,i didn't see it coming that you would drown me in the ocean of sorrow

I begged for mercy,perhaps forgiveness hoping you would listen to me

You keep torturing my soul, leading me to the valley of death

Dear addiction,i thought we would make the best of friends but all you did was to use me!

Look i hate to say this but i have to take a different direction

To go in search of my little loyal friends!

Like a shooting star
I watched you all night
Weirdly so far but stuck
In my mind

Night so long full of wonders
All i wished was that you
And you alone were here
To fix all this the unfixed

Night seems so lonely
With no one but me only
I wish I had the capability
To push away night so gloomy

Finally its dawn
Same as usual
Waking up without you by my side
All i keep wishing
Is for you to fulfill this magical night

So many paths we had to thread
Paths of the living and the dead
So many directions in our heads
Direction leading to hell instead

The path we seek in effect
Will lead to our future
The path we choose are perfect
A reflection of our nature

These are paths unknown
We covered to be our own
These are the paths with the gods
We converted into our roads

Each road formed got its own tale
A tale told not verbally
A story of gloom and glory
Tale in the midst of swords

We may not remember
The content of the story
Of how truth became glory
But the roads knows best!