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M Vogel Feb 2020

A lump in your throat;
--unable to breathe
(an ache in the trache
from the moment you wake)
And upon your larynx, tight-squeezed
is the cold hand of death
choking away the word, hope
as you struggle for breath

And the only way you can survive
is to convince yourself  that no one gives a ****

because there is a dark, ******* cloud,  smothering
smothering..


everything.


I like it.. I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you.. I'm not gonna crack.

https://youtu.be/pkcJEvMcnEg
~Kurt C
  Jan 2020 M Vogel
Anonymous Freak
Naked felt good
When my consciousness
Was just a kite
I flew far
Above my head.

The feeling
Of revealing
My darkest secrets
To a crowd of people
In a dimly lit pagan bar
Used to be the things
Fantasies were made of.
Because they didn’t matter.

The darkest parts of myself didn’t matter for a moment
Because I was so far away from the world,
So detached from myself,
That the adrenaline
Almost roused me to wake up
From my daze,
And the feeling was addicting.

I fell down from the sky.
I fell hard.
I came back,
Hardly able to walk
For a few days
It was such an impact,
And suddenly things matter again.

Strangers kissing me in the dark
Doesn’t sooth me,
It hurts to even consider it.
Because I was so lonely,
And it was just a glaring reminder
That I was so
Lonely and dissatisfied.

But you carefully unwrapped me,
Gently tugged at the folds
So not to rip the paper,
And you looked at the bare body inside.
I’m raw.
My skin is pink and burned,
I feel pain even at soft touches.
I left my body behind
For so long
I didn’t even know
The damage that had been done.

You run your hand
Along the curves,
The cuts,
And the bruises.
You kiss the dry
Cracking skin,
And I feel truly
Naked,
Vulnerable,
And released.
M Vogel Jan 2020

And when he opened  the word, written:
it said that God would give him
   the greatest gift--

which was God, himself

And immediately he succumbed,  to the pressure
of Love's great purge

Bringing to the world;  all,
       the greatest gift  of all--

                   his own demise


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