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There is a face in my mirror
I do not recognize--
blurry and dark around
the edges.
Static black and white
forms a portrait
of vaguely familiar nature.
I study closely
as it distorts
in size and distance.

A hand reaches out
and
I wonder
who it belongs to.
Tracing my eyes along the foreign limb
I see a body
I somehow feel I should know.

I close my eyes
and

f
       a
          d
                   e
                              a
                                 w
                                      a
                                                y.
What dissociation feels like.
Last I saw you,
Snowflakes were melting in your lashes,
Rolling down your face as if they were your tears.
Before freezing in the trap set by your words.
There they were, in the frozen drops, many reflections:
Of me... of the cat... and of the window by the tiers.

You came in with the blue smell of the sea,
Of a sea not yet frozen but covered with snow.
Your head was in a cloud, as it still is,
A cloud cold to the touch,
And in the wind, dispersing.
It was the halo of your mane.
That looked soft but was deceiving.

Me, myself, and I are warm now,
With my pressed flowers,
Dry by the hearth.
The reflections are in the flames now,
Not in tears.
The orange glow of the pages past illuminate a new future,
And the boat in the blizzard houses my heart no more.
We are completely and utterly alone in this world.
We are born alone,
We survive alone,
We suffer alone,
And we die alone.
And most of all we feel alone.
Yesterday I was ready
to be alive, to
look in the mirror and say
‘I forgive myself’.
But that feeling is gone
and today I mourn
the death
of my false happiness

— The End —