At my funeral
Cry tears of blooming cyclamen
With daises shattered to the wind
Of thoughts far too late
And as you walk away
Leave cedar flowers at my grave

I don't remember the last time I ever cried like this

I don't want you to reach out
After you let me fall
I don't want you to reach out
Even while I stand alone
I want nobody to care
If I live or die
But even while I stand alone
I look at you and cry

It's funny how pain
Only strikes when you don't expect
And never is good enough when you do

It's soothing
The beads of pure red
Purer than any colored pencil or marker could signify
It doesn't even hurt anymore

The doctors all say
Our minds can't remember pain
Why then, do I still remember you

Deal with me all you can
In your makeshift helping home
But when you say I'm fine
Cause I didn't go that deep
Even after I break down sobbing
You aren't fit to be
Someone who's supposed to help
I'd never blame you more
If you weren't one of the many reasons
They still don't know