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The bare hand
hugging thoughts.
reminiscing the sigh
Heart broken, eyes broken.
Peaches of mandarin and orange
Rise, burn, smell of the other day.
In the silence of the small room
  I hear everything,
and darkness lies
in the castle
of the ego.
H.хренников
 Nov 2018 Jesse stillwater
Jen
Seek
 Nov 2018 Jesse stillwater
Jen
Splintered Beams,
Allow
Forgotten Faces
To seep into
Restless Dreams;
Wistful waking,
As
Sunlight traces
Truth;
The past
Speaks
Quietly
Back,
Through Introspect,
To the inside;
The
Last
Place
You'd
Think
To
Seek
Tranquility-
Enclosed
Within
Tattered Seams
Of Restless Dreams;
To find it there,
Within.
All day I hear the noise of waters
Making moan,
Sad as the sea-bird is when, going
Forth alone,
He hears the winds cry to the water's
Monotone.

The grey winds, the cold winds are blowing
Where I go.
I hear the noise of many waters
Far below.
All day, all night, I hear them flowing
To and fro.
There is infinite peace
in the blackness of morn
Contemplating myself in solitude
waiting for light to explode the dawn

My hopeful heart yearning
for the inspiration of today
to spill into my bones
keeping the mundane at bay

Light illuminates the shadows
and the dullness of these four walls
Temporal boundaries crush my wings
and once again my spirit falls

Out of the celestial blue sky
plunging into the blackest of seas
With desperation I scream
but there’s no one to rescue me

The subtle cruelties of this world
are not for the faint of heart
Protect yourself at all cost
for it will casually rip you apart
11/12/18 Lost in the weight of this earthly world. Temporarily blind to the magic of the cosmos. Feeling hopeless today
 Nov 2018 Jesse stillwater
Jen
Outstretched
And
Exposed
To find
Yourself
In
The
Chasm.

Displaced
Consciousness
As if
A Phantom.

Holding your soul,
Close to your body.

Rolling
Into
A Cocoon
Of
Newly
Spun
String.

Rolling, rolling, rolling...
To where?

Towards
Undetectable
Cosmos.

Unending,
Then crystalizing
Over sudden sunsets,
Infinitely,
Across the horizon.

Moving towards
Abstractions
Faster,
As concrete
Fails to set
Within them.

Swept up
On the stairwell
Of a helix,
Waiting to
See where
It ends.

Caught up
In the never-ending
Space of Obscurity
That sometimes seems
Forbidden.
This poem might not appear to make sense at first.  It came to me as a visual image that suddenly popped into my head as I was thinking about how I feel about a life situation that I've struggled with for a while. It actually has dual meanings as after I wrote it some subcontious thoughts also surfaced.  I've heard poetry is good therapy and believe it. So the inspiration came as the sun started to go down as it does now at 4pm.  I was thinking about a piece of life, closed my eyes and saw myself exposed and naked laying in a dark, empty space. Then I realize it, and so my entire being rolls itself up in a cocoon for protection to find that my mind is very abstract and struggles in this concrete world, especially around a lot of people who are very concrete and black & white thinkers. It's time to find a new field but it seems like a big leap. Just thoughts and visualizations put to words....
 Nov 2018 Jesse stillwater
Cné
She sees him
from afar and sighs.
He’s easy on the eyes,
this man by the sea,
as he contemplates,
who he is and who
he wants to be.
She wants to wave,
as she raises a hand,
like how the ocean
greets the land,
but then wonders if
she should turn
and walk away,
and leave him
to his day.
Been waiting..... I thought there would be more forthcoming but I guess not.
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