three years
three **** years
I've been in love.
Every time I look into you're eyes.
that are one deep shade of brown- like that chocolate you gave me.
and the ones that will never love mine back.

Eyes close, no avail
I can't get to the trail
trail of dreams, that I sleep
The street keeps closing in on me
twist, turn, in the night
closing out all the light
so maybe I just need to lay
a few more hours until day.

I kissed the scars on her skin
I still think you're beautiful
And I don't ever wanna lose my best friend
I scream out God you vulture
Bring her back
Or take me with her.

in the darkness of my room, the shadows on my walls,
lights my inner demon to shout its call.
its call so loud, i jolt awake, and pray i'll have only a small beating to take.
for those demons calling for me in the night,
keep me up until the light,
so when I leave, don't pray for me,
thank my demons, for letting me sleep.

Eyes like a car crash
I know I shouldn't look, but I can't turn away.
body like a whiplash
salt my wounds
but I cant heal the way
I feel about you.

ya know what annoys me? people.
not anybody in specific, but people.
I hate celebrities that changed because of the fame
I hate people that are self centered
I hate it when people that romanticize mental illness
I hate it when orange people get elected as a president.

If you're a dreamer
going without sleep
thinking of bigger things  
whats holding you back?
if it's anxiety
maybe you're age
maybe people you know
an illness?
it doesn't matter
go live your dream.
if you want it bad enough you can do it.

Four walls
four sides
four ways to die
slit your wrists and end your life
Nobody cares whats in my mind
Hanging, dangling from the ceiling
its not just my soul leaving
blindly walking into headlights
at least i'm not alone in this night

Vision is blurred, the world spinning, my conscience thinning, help me please.
I can't think straight, why today? what did I do?
stomach weak, can't sleep. Why do I deserve this hell? can't you tell, I'm not doing well.
Headache, please leave, i'm weak.

Poets describe love in simple ways.
like their heart skipping beats
smiling over the most random reasons.
but if you've never been in love, you'd never understand.
how much emotion you feel when you're in love
its just not the same

The silence
Not much new
I think silence speaks
Volumes

Waking up with aching bones
my words caught up in my throat
hiding behind my lungs.
but the day has only begun
i'm tired of this
let me be gone,
please.

I write these words knowing that i'll just erase them, they either don't rhyme or I can't make sense of them. I don't know how to put my feelings into words, that's why I stay in the unknown. I have dreams and wishes, passions and imperfections, a plan A but not a plan B, I don't know what my friends see in me.

depression is cold.
the cold that you feel on your toes in the cold of the winter, slowly creeping up your feet and fingertips.
some people go inside, with warm hot chocolate waiting, to cure the stinging, slowly turning you're hands white.
some people are held back, in the snow, too caught up in the beauty of winter.
then a blizzard hits.