It is the drive
In the claustrophobic space that barely exists in your head
It is the flutter
Of your heart, and the numbness in your legs
After the delicate collision of two lips
It is the pain
Of grasping on the idea that perfection is not, and will never be achievable
It is the fear
Knowing that if you fall,
Not a single person cares enough to catch you
It is the loss
And the emptiness you feel
Caused by no longer having a hand to envelope into yours
It is life
Who is the creator of our emotions
By laying out our fate for us in paths made of
Silk ribbon and razor sharp needles

I know these are the things you will never say,
Because your mind is simply not made up this way
But I wish you'd tell me
That you were burdened by the expectations of the world,
And the reason why you let go of the so thought strong rope holding us together
Was not my fault,
But it was from your incapability to find balance within yourself.
I wish you'd explain
That life became a steep climb upon a large mountain
And you seemed to be carrying the weight of the world upon your shoulders.
And to make this journey simple, you let go of the things that were holding you back.
And one of those "things" you let fall behind
Was me.
I wish you'd look into my eyes and say
That you had made a mistake
Because you never seem to acknowledge
That the day I lost you,
Was the same day I lost my best friend.
And it pains me,
That your lost mind can't make sense of how I feel,
And what I say.
You are still lost in the expectations of the word
Because you so easily shattered such a beautiful thing.

As I lie on my floor today,
My mind makes its way back to yesterday
When your hand reached for mine
As I lay next to you.
You said that you could hear the beat of my heart,
The heart that beats just for you
Your embrace is like a dream
One of those which you wish to never wake from
And through each embrace,
You define love
With a definition so great,
That I never thought possible.

Overflowing
With uncontrollable self harm.
Not physical,
But a mental means of distruction.

Hopelessness,
It swallows the mind,
Leaving nothing but raw sockets
That pour pain through the eyes.
Blind to what really matters
And a mortifying obsession with what does not.

Mind of a lover,
Yet mind of a hunter,
Along with mind of a victim combined,
A spectacular state of self deprecation
And nothing seems to go right.

Unable to notice the greatness
And a crystal clear vision for weakness
Over and over, a head to the wall.

The personality of a devil
Trapped inside an angle,
And back again with a hopeless head to the wall.

When will she feel the greatness?
When will she see the greatness?

When will she live for the greatness?

Her perception of life and death
Echoed in her mind
Over and over again
But she could never convey these ideas in such a way
That would make anyone shiver with such fear
Just as she had

We all search for ways that we can escape our realities
A moment of peace far from the hectic lives that we live
We beg for change
A day that won't be like the rest of those meaningless repetitive days

They say to live in the moment
Savor each and every second of every single day
But how is this possible when we walk through life
Without realizing where all our time has gone

As of now we are stuck
When was the last time we enjoyed ourselves
The last time we didn't dread our next step
The last time we smiled and fell in love

We must step back and take time for ourselves
So we can appreciate the values of our lives
And give life as much meaning as it can hold

My life revolves around my education
And I feel as if I am drowning ever so slowly
In a sea filled with numbers and letters that I try to not think define me
But at the end of the day, it's all that counts
I am scared for my future,
Font of my past,
Afraid to even come close to my fate
I feel like the bittersweet taste of life has left my senses
And I am left with a stale taste that lingers on my tongue
A taste full of uphills with no down hill,
Of failure and stupidity
I tell myself that I can rise above and beyond
But that is also suggesting that I achieve the impossible
They say it doesn't define you
But they are all telling you what you want to hear
In hopes to make you feel better
But how will your mind flourish
If they make you think that you are perfect
When clearly, you are not?

The skin is our only layer or armor
Hard to believe
Because it is so delicate
A smile is a rebellion
From the emotions of the heart
You walk through life
Wearing a mask on the streets
And come home to a broken smile
That has been hiding behind your lips
Will your problems ever be solved?
When will your self-hatred come to an end?
No one can help you
You are alone
You are not pretty
What are you thinking?
Put on your mask
Dance among the stars
Just to come home
To cry about the scars
You are not your only enemy
As everyone wants to say
That **** is just fantasy
Everyone gets in your way
You are a reflection of the negativity to come
So prepare yourself
And cover all you have to hide
Again and again
It never goes away

I know my dear that the world is filled with hate.
I know that your nightmares determine your fate.
Yes, we all fall, slip off the edge,
But know that he loves you
And will till the end of time.
He will pick you up when you fall,
Take you into his arms when you feel small.
A bird came to tell me that even if the whole world fell apart
Or time melted from your hands
If every second you thought you had
Fell deep into the ground,
He would still love you
Still protect you from this unpredictable world.
He will still love you,
Till hell freezes,
He will still love you.

The tears that blur my vision burn
As they run down my face
But I feel my heart shiver
In the cave of my chest.
As the night approaches,
I begin to ponder my existence.
I wonder why life is such a hell of a friend.
Always breaking my heart,
Sending evil thoughts to my head.
I am alone,
I am depressed,
I am not myself.
Life laughs in my ear,
Reminding me of the faults I have made,
The fears that I have.
She always seems to win every fight.
She feels no pity for my pain.
And her laugh goes on and on
Trickling down my spine
Sending a shiver that shocks my heart
And I am left unable to breath.
Life is inconsiderate and very unfair
She always wins.

You say I was too attached
But boy,
I don't think you understand the difference
Between passion and obsession.

I think it's meditation,
But you take it as a distraction.

I think you have more depth than you know,
But you refuse to visualize my perspective.

Teach me.
Drive me in your fast car.
Keep driving me away from the worries that envelope my mind.

Spoil me with metal flowers
And smiles that make me laugh till I cry.

I was stupid to lend my heart to lovers
Who played with it as an object of lust.

I was ludicrous for walking away
Because every time I race back
I realize how lively being in your presence can be.