I AM WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
PAIN ALONE

Don't know why do I love?
Don't know why am I hurt?
Don't know why am I suffering?
Don't know why am I living?
Don't why do I postpone my death?

Suffering is very personal
Let me suffer

I suffered
I am suffering
I will suffer

Because suffering is personal
Let me suffer

No one knows
my suffering
I was given suffereing
from the people I believed

I believed people
I got comfort and security from them
which I lost in my family
They proved
they were not worth of it.

I thought my family is there
I feel insecure
whenever I entered into my home
I am in my verge

No one knows how I feel
because suffering is very personal
Let me suffer....

I am disspirited
I am depressed
I am dejected
I am disheartened
I am heart-broken
I am heavy-hearted
I am unhappy
yet
I am smiling
and living...

I've felt
happiness as well as sadness

I've undergone
honour as well as shame

I've experienced
peace as well as confusion

I've lived with
truth as well as fake

Yet
I didn't expect
I would hate the people
whom I loved so much...

Don't know what I want
'cause I don't want anything

Don't know what to do
'cause I am not doing anything

Don't know whether I am happy
'cause I am not happy

Don't know how to live
'cause I am just exist....

Hello
Hello
(She recognised the voice)

Hello
Hello...Who is that?
I am so and so
(She is on cloud nine)
Happy Birthday
(She scolded herself that she had to ring up and wish not when he was calling)

I wanted to tell you something
(She knew what he was going to tell)
Yes, tell me
(She was longing....to hear that)

Her heat beat had gone up
Thinking about the next moment
Both the sides dead silence

And She woke up ftom her dream
still her heart was beating
And still it is beating
And still she is longing.......

Cheat her
beat her
stab her
stomp her
slip her
flip her
hate her
Cheat her


What are you going to lose is HER...
HER PRECIOUS LOVE...

She got three gems
which were so precious to her
but they turned out to be stones
but still  she had them in her hands.
She left all those three
when they started to scratch and ***** her hands
Atlast she left them with pain
not in her hands
but in heart...

Justice
is doing right thing

Freedom
is doing things which you like

Happiness
is liking things which you do

Sadness
is thinking about things
which you want to forget

And depression
is still thinking about the same
still finding the answers
still struggling to believe
still dying inside
and living outward.

Not aggressive unless provoked
(I am always provoked)

Loves to be loved
(always getting fake love)

Easily hurt but takes
long time to recover
(and I am still recovering...)

Stay away from
one who cheats you
one who tells you lies
one who uses you
one who disrespects you
one who critizes you
one who talks low about you
one who backstabs you
Most importantly
one who shows fake love to you

The person whom you love the most
will hurt you the most
will give you pain the most
will **** you the most
will cheat you the most
will tell lies to you the most
will stab you at heart the most
and will haunt you the most...

After living
25 years
in the earth
I understood
People like only good looks
not good thoughts....

Once there was a girl
her eyes were like a pearl
so innocent she was
so painful her story was

She had a Python as a pet
True love with she met
Her eyes would be always wet
The Python made her life fit

Python and the girl loved each other
Others she didn't even bother
They were always together
All happiness she would gather

Her happiness subsided
when the Python starved
Almost all she did
Her worries started

She cried a lot
The Python made a not
She was caught
The Python's love was naught

Its plan was to eat her
which she was not aware
Losing its love was her nightmare
It's starving to eat and digest her

Her tears taught her a lesson
People gave comfort like a cushion
But to cheat only was their mission
She was relieved from her confusion

People  who are close to you
Are not your real friends
We need to cut their realtionship
Before they mix venom in our life

I lost my happiness and sleep
by loving my friends
more than my family

Now I am repenting for that
no one to rescue me
Memories are haunting....

My eyes stopped to shed tears...
for how much will they shed?

My heart stopped to ache...
for how much will it ache?

My mind stopped to think...
for how much will it over-think?

My lips stopped to smile...
for how much will it act?

My love started to fade..
for how long will it be used?

My heart started to bleed...
for how much will it be stabbed?

Morethan their fake love
those memories are paining me....

I gave true love
fake love is received...

One year
my whole life is changed

Didn't expect this would change
Didn't expect this would hurt much
Didn't expect this would give pain
Didn't expect this would show all fake faces
Didn't expect this would make me hate the one I loved
Didn't expect I would hate the people I loved so much
Didn't expect I would be happy without them
Didn't expect people would be like this
Didn't expect the fake love from the one I loved truly
Didn't expect this would change me
Didn't expect this would make strong
Didn't expect this would be like this
Didn't expect this would change

I have undergone so many inner struggles
And one year is over.

I
Killed
Myself


I
Killed
Myself
In
Such
A
Young
Age

I
Killed
M­yself
In
Such
A
Young
Age
By
Loving
Someone


I
Killed
Myself
In
­Such
A
Young
Age
By
Loving
Someone
More
Than
Myself.

What makes me a poetess?
-
-
-
-
-
My lovable ones
Nay...
-
-
-
-
-
My friends
Nay
-
-
-
-
-
THE PAIN
THEY GAVE....

When Will I forget?
How will I forget?
What will make me forget?

Pain is being fed
by memories

and that's killing me
day by day.

True love is shown
Fake love is what I got

Selfless love is shown
Pain is what I got

Wish for others' happiness
Tears are what I got

True love is what  I expected
still I got hurtings
hurtings
and hurtings...

I was cheated
I was used
I was befooled
I was broken.

Pain
The moment
When you realise
You had been slave
to someone  who just showed
fake love.

Identity
The moment
When you lose
your lovable ones and
just find yourself how strong
You are...

A teacher they say she is
But more like an angel she is
Every elegant move she takes
Makes the diamond shake,

A true flower her heart,
cannot be shown on a chart,
Graceful as a swan she walks
like a melody her voice she talks

Like an elder sister she is
In a puzzle piece she doesn't fit
because a unique piece she is
A very elaborate one she is.

It's important to make friends
Not to chitchat
Not to gossip
Not to have fun
It's something more than that.

It's important to make friends
to spend quality time
to share our happiness
to tell our worries
It's something more than that.

Make friends
who can cry with
who can laugh with
who can share all with you
It's real friendship.

My diary has
all my secrets
even my best friend
doesn't know them.

My diary reflects me
It has all my
emotions and feelings
which no one observed yet.

My diary was torn once
pages were burnt too
memories were destroyed also
but not from the heart.

My diary was given a new life now
started fresh
with sweet memories
and only sweet memories.

When the tiny eyes saw me
twinkle in my eyes

When the small lips smile at me
magic in my heart

When the tiny feet kicked me
rare radiance and unfathomable delight

When the little fingers touched me
I felt heaven..........

Like and Love
four letter words
would make a drastic change
would make a drastic change

Like everybody happily
Don't love anybody seriously
Like attracts many people
Love depends on one person

Like doesn't hold possessiveness
Love makes you possessive
Like gives you delight
Love makes you regret

I like Rose
I can also like Jasmine,Lavender,etc
But If I love Rose
I have to like and love only ROSE

Like 'love' as a noun
not as a verb
Like your father,mother,sister,friends,spouse
give love to them
But, don't love them

Like and Love
four letter words
would make a drastic change
in another four letter word called LIFE.

My love on you is rejected
'cause you are a cheat

My love on you is rejected
'cause you are just an attention seeker

My love on you is rejected
'cause you are partial

My love on me is rejected
'cause my three lovable hearts
hurt me heavily in someother way
through love

Because of those rejections
Now I am in dejection

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
................
Nobody can answer my questions.

What is friendship?
Who are all friends?
How can we make friends?
How can others make us their friends?
Is it a permanant one?
Will it be a long lasting one?

Right now I am nobody's friend

Because I break my friendship
with a few people
as they are playing with my emotions

My friendship is broken by ex-friends
As I am close with so called 'few people'.

A loving mother
A rich father
A cute sister and
'caring' friends;

A good life
you would say;

But I know
I am insecured
feeling heavily insecured

Do you know its all
because of
loving mother
rich father
cute sister and
so called 'caring' friends.

I have
an appoinment
with disappoinment.

People say that
it's because
of expectations.

But I know that
it's because of
the people I believed
the people I loved.

The blame is to me
to believe them and
to love them.

What I want?
True love
Life long friendship
Good relationships
Great care
Clear thoughts
Peaceful nights
Cozy sleep

What I get?
Passè love
Fair weather friends
Fake relationships
Anger and ambivalence
Confused thoughts
Disturbed nights
Fitful sleep

They will come
They will go
They will love
They will hate
They will stay
They will avoid
BUT WE HAVE TO LIVE
BECAUSE IT'S OUR LIFE.

I am...I am only

They are showering love on me
They are leaving me suddenly

They are talking to me
They are busy as no time to talk to me

They make me feel so special
They make me feel unwanted

I try to stay away from them
They try to get closer

When I try to get closer
I am an unwanted one

They are coming
They are doing
They are going

But I am ...I am only

Money
Money makes our life honey
Nope


Excess of money
gives fear
to safeguard it


Lack of money
gives us insecurity
towards future


At any cost
Money won't give any happiness.

The present is not a past
and it is not a future
The present is the present
the present is the moment
and the present is now

Thinking about the past
makes us feel worry
Thinking about the future
makes us feel anxious
But thinking about the present
makes us feel happy,happier and the happiest

Learn from the past
but not think about the past
plan for the future
but don't predict or expect for the future

Be in the present
Live in the present
Enjoy the present and
That is the present of GOD

'Life is nothing
but an empty dream"
We can fill the emptiness with love.
Life isn't simple
till you start to love.
'You get in life if you have the courage to ask for'
You get in life if you have the love for others
love the love and
love the life to live.

Be like a kite in your life
Be in someone’s control
But fly high happily
As if you are out of control.


Be like a star in your life
Shine brightly
Make your talents to twinkle
But ever never forget
You are a small star in a wide sky.


Be like a balloon in your life
Fill it with good values
Tie it tightly
But never let it to burst.


Be like a butterfly in your life
Let your thoughts fly high
Let your head held high
But others should be in awe of
Not be in loathing of.



- Shyamala

I love the way
you are going to love me.

I like the way
you are going to smile on me.

I dream the life
that we are going to live

And I am eagerly
waiting for my Prince Charm.

I thought of studying gives me a kind of satisfaction
I thought of learning reduces lack of innocence
I thought of education gives me an elegant life
I thought of teaching improves my talents
I thought of reading gives me rapturous thinking
I thought of job gives me joyful life
I thought of money makes everyone merry
After crossing all these
Now, I am thinking nothing gives more solace than death.

I have everything expect fulfilment
I am alone with everyone
I am happy with all the unhappy situations
I am an optimist in being a pessimist
I am very lucky to have all the unlucky things
I am the best in all the worst things
I continuously succeed in getting failure
I am working hard without recognition
I am comforting myself to get into trouble
I am thinking without sense
I am planning something and doing some other thing
I am expecting all the unexpected things
I stay positive in all the negative things
I am beautiful with my ugly face
I am happy with all my problems
I love myself with so much of hatredness
The utmost paradox is
I am living while I am dying inside.