No new messages.

I don’t know where you are on the other side of the screen. But I want to know. Badly.

No new messages.

I’m not sure what I’ve become, in these seconds, of being patient.

No new messages.

My soul only wants one thing, I realize: You. Your attention. Your sympathy. Your words to make me feel better.

No new messages.

I’m going crazy now. I want you, your touch through words. I want to know that you’re listening to my thoughts. That you’re here for me.

No new message.

My patience is running out, my love for you is too. Staring at a screen, wanting something only you can give.

What has my life become? I am nothing. Saving time for you to talk to me, when I should concentrate on what’s important.

No new messages.

My life is useless. I am looking for the wrong goal. But I keep staring, hoping you’d somehow send me a message, telling me it’s ok.

No new messages.

I’m tired. I’m sorry. I can’t stop being the crazy girl I am. But I’m in love, that’s all I can say.

No new messages.

I get it, you’re not online. Fine. I’ve stopped caring. What’s the point? Forget you. I hate you. I wish we’d never met.

No new messages.

Yes, I’m still here. Can’t you see? It’s been hours, I’ve been staring at this screen since you said you’d be here. I’m not ready to give up. Are you there, somehow?

No new messages.

I’ve tried, but it’s getting late. I’m sorry. Even though I know you’re not here. Please know that I still care.

I type in a new message and then sign out.

I Love You.

i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday.

i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me.

i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm.

i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words.

i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare.

i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul.

and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.

Darling
You didn't put out my flame
it's still here
licking down to my hands
to burn the people
who maim

But that's not the point of my
words today

Today
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm still burning bright
Only because of you
Because that's what you told
Me to do.

I told you
I'm standing in dried concrete
and I swore
I won't move

You replied with "Nice anatomy"
And we laughed our ***** off
because the word 'analogy' failed to
come out of your mouth.

We sat on the back
of your moms car and
stared at the stars

We danced outside
to some stupid song
as the sun slowly came up

Sam
My hurricane
You twirl dangerously
and you spin carelessly
You move out of other peoples way
straight into
destruction.
Because you'd rather
hurt yourself
than mistakenly harm another.

And Sam
My darling.
you deserve much more,
than you've set yourself up for.

Your life is reckless
and dangerous
And honestly,
some of the decisions are pretty stupid.

I'm not one to talk,
But we can be pretty **** sure,
that the good die young.
So long live the reckless and the brave.

'Cause I'm still burning bright.
And some day
I'll write a book
Titled 'My Hurricane'
Talking about those nights.
The ones that kept us both alive.

If you promised me you'd stay,
Would you spend the night
And tell me it'll be okay.

Hold me tight
Never let me go.
Wrap your arms around
My fears
My failures
My faults,
Make up for what I can't do.

Catch the tears I cry.
Wipe them away.
Tell me tomorrow's coming-
A brand new day.

Just hold me
And never let me go.

For these bonded ties,
our lifelines of love.
Keeping us 'float
'bove the troubled waters.
Our bridge we crossed
together for each other.
In separating truly
the oceans are skies.
No long am I floating among the stars
but falling and drowning in this sloshing heir.
It seems my kingdom come
has fallen in the future.
A future different
than we live now

My course once steady
as I tagged along with you
now goes with the flow
unknown to me.
The pattern of these stars
foreign to me.
My eyes deceived,
blinded to sea.
Sealed my fate to be,

Unable to follow
where you may go.
Lest you deny me so.
No waves to tell me
where
your waters flow.
This stagnant water
reeking of the innocent blood.
Never leaving.
The wind beneath my bloodied sail, has left me 'neath it's silent veil.
No longer does it sing your lullaby to me. All that's left is the ghostly lull.
A bye.