Friends come and go like the seasons change.
Nothing last forever, nothing we can arrange. 
You are special to me.
Too special for the eye to see. 

I have this feeling or sensation, its more like a connection, but its nothing more than pure affection. 

Like when you go down a roller coaster and your stomach turns.
It's the same thing when I'm with you, my body churns.
It's your physiological essence that I seek.
Something unexplainable, you could say unique. 
Words are only half of what I feel.
The rest is in my actions and what I conceal. 

I don't think this.... Will ever go away.

Hopefully you will kind of understand what my worlds are trying to portray.

So how does this work? Does it all go away at once?
How long do I wait? Will time ease the punch?
Fighting sobriety to push away my pain.
Holding in the tears that remain.
I don't know what to do.
The days are cold when everything reminds me of you. 
I have to get you out of my head. 
I can't love with you the way you said.
No sleep and I can't eat, 
It's like you put the pain on repeat.
Everything that we've done is all gone,
Slowly falling I need someone to out this weight on.
I don't want this. I don't want this pain.
I hurt too much to explain.
Done with this
Time to move on and forget the girl I used to miss.

Here today is where i sit, on this porcelain thrown is where I ****. 
Counting off the minutes that go by.
My elbows leave red marks on each thigh.
Thinking on what I had to eat last night. Maybe I shouldn't push with all my might.
Then my peers start to evacuate.
I could have possibly lost some weight.
Feeling fresh and renewed I head back to class. Hopefully no one can smell my ***.

7/8/3030
8:11 PM

Why aren't you running?
Why aren't you hiding?
You're just standing there!

Can't you feel the rumble?
Can't you smell the smoke?
You're not doing anything!

Am I the only one?
Am I alone?
You don't even care!

Am I insane?
Is this all in my head?
Some one please!

Why are you staring?
Why won't you help me?
I'm scared!

How can I tell what's real?
How can I tell what isn't?
Maybe I can't!

Is this a dream?
Is this reality?
It might be something else entirely!

What's happening to me?
How would you know anyways?
You're just a child.

Some of my most beautiful memories are with her. What am I supposed to do with them?
This is the problem I face today. I don't know how I feel or what to say. 
Crazy within, mind undone, stress sleeps in.
Can't deal with myself, who is looking back at me?
I don't know where I am or who I can be? 
The beat of the drum lingers in my ears. 
Putting on this smiling face for my peers.
Stomach churns, fingers tingle, fire inside burns.
Where are my problems? Lay them out in front. 
No more desires, the wolf is out of hunt.
It's only when she's present that I feel.
This big hole in my heart I'm trying to heal.
Hear my words because I sing to you.
The sunrises and the moon sets too.
my love.