I want nothing more than to never grow up

I found your earrings on my window sill
I’m not sure how long they’ve been there or
If you know they’re missing
I’m too scared to move them
So I just pretend not to see

She found your earrings on my window sill
I didn’t know what to say
It’s been months and I can’t even utter your name
Still you lie on the window sill

Winter came and found your earrings by the window
Cold and harsh
That’s what I loved about you
I wonder what you loved about me
Did you love these earrings?
Do you think of them
Do you think of me?

I simply think you're gorgeous beyond description.

Honestly the sound of your voice is the only thing keeping me going.

It's raining again,
But I can see sunlight
Through the curtains

Stop
Let the music play,
Sing along to my favorite song.
Hold my hand
We can drive until we run out of gas.
Through this southern night
In our eighteenth year,
We laugh and stare.
I'm trying hard to feel again
Light the spark
And we'll wake up tomorrow and
Face our fears together.

I'm homesick when you're not with me.

Put on another record
Now let's lay together
You say it doesn't matter
Yet can't you hear the faint shatter?
Count back from ten
Please let's start again
I'm sick of this constricting quarantine,
baby can't you see?
You're my dopamine.

I'm scared one day soon
The skies will come crashing down again
And this time it will be my fault.

Right now
life feels
like a late night drive
into the middle of nowhere,
it's 3 am and
I can't see.
Okay I guess I could use map
Yet no one has one.
Oh well,
I'm not going places
Maybe All I need is a hiatus.

Why do I feel this way if it wasn’t meant to be more? Why is there a connection if you just decide to leave after a week?
Remember kissing on the floor?
Laughing with your tongue in your cheek?
Did you meet someone new?
I guess good taste in music isn’t enough to fall in love.
I really thought it might work this time between me and you.

Will this ever be anything more?
Can you be mine and can I be yours
The look in yours eyes tonight has me craving more
Take my hand I’m waiting for you
You kiss me that way I hope it’s true
Just use me for more than the warmth
I leave your bed to go back north

I have to stop myself from writing about you
Because then it would make these feelings real
You already told me you don’t love me
But I still don’t believe you

A fault line runs in me through and through
Awakening unexpectedly,
Tearing at me
Night and day.
It crackles in the skin of my hands
I hide it from everyone.
You changed that,
As we search for each other in the dark,
Our skin and hair
Here and there.
I slept with a soundtrack
Of your breaths,
Whispering to me
The calmness of assurance
What else could I need,
The cracks within me fell asleep,
And so did we.

I'm still standing here because one of these tomorrows holds you.

I regret the day I
Introduced you to my demons
Now you and sit and talk
While with them I walk.
I need to call out for help yet
They would tell you.

im in the lost and found but no ones looking for me

The fading sunset and the moon cry
for their spot in the sky
Yet they still lack what I see in your eyes.

Growing up I always heard,
Over and over,
Again.
Never judge a book by it's cover.
Between you and me I always heard,
Over and over,
again.
Never leave my side.
So can you tell me why
You never you never read my
First chapter?

If you count the nights
Look back in time
I try and remember when we were all fine
Before fun meant
Passed out drunk on the floor
Higher than ever before
Before fun meant
*** in the back of a car
We just wait next door
And now I see
You just replaced me
With every substance that you could see
So now do you see?
That I'm miss you
But are you missing me?

I'm homesick and
there's a monster underneath
every bed
I lay in.

I want my friends back,
But the thief named
adulthood stole them
from me.

All I know is that you make me want to write and no one else makes me feel that way.

The Delicately exquisite touch
One pattern after the other
Soft symmetry laced one in one
Tight pulse of fixation
Don't let go
Longing to linger,
The small Warmth of trust.

Nothing says
"I love you"
More than
An
Anxiety attack.

Sometimes I just
Wish I couldn't
Feel at
All

Thinking of you brings waves of tranquil anxiety.

It's that time of year.
Heat begins to fall, along with the leaves
and everyone's self esteem.
A year ago I wouldn't have worried
Or even thought of how it ended in a hurry.
I don't know if you've seen
But school buses look different at 6:15
Everyone pretends they notice
Yet they neglect  the death of the while lotus.
All I can hope is they get better
That we can find an answer
Life is just pretentious
Passing us by endless.
I don't know if you've seen
But school buses look different at 6:15
Everyone pretends they notice,
Yet they neglect  the death of the while lotus.
A year ago I wouldn't have worried.

It's been a week without you here
and honestly it's killing me, my dear.

Someone doesn't have to die
For you to lose them.

Can I be your Da Vinci?
I'll help you paint that fake smile, clearly.
Quit running home and painting your thighs red
Run and lay your
Head
On my bed
Instead.
Don't look in my closet
The skeleton named 'typical' hides to drag me into this deep blue
And he's looking for you to come too.

At least graveyards are a constant

Love and life confuse me
Ive been trying to find the answers
Dangling on the edge of inner security
But thoughts take over like a cancer
And love blinds us, can't you see?
In time, with treatment, it does get better
Until then I will stop with the inquiry.

She's special in how she alters time
Seconds don't matter in the same
Way they do when you're not around.

I can't begin to describe the feeling I get
when you trace your name on my skin.

Light leaks and paranoia
The only colors in the frame
Contrast and blood
clairvoyant now only a waiting game
The only colors in the frame

You remind me of the weight I shed
Those winter nights begging you to come back
You look a lot like someone I knew in bed
Pitch black
Pitch black

Light leaks and paranoia
You call out my name
Now it’s all the same
You don’t hate me you love me but I took it all away

I thought I loved the East Coast until I saw your eyes look back at me under the moonlight slipping through the window.
I thought I loved the East Coast until we were pressed together, laughing, trying to fit on your twin mattress.
I thought I loved the East Coast until I felt your breath on my neck at four in the morning.
I long for the Pacific and for you to take me there.

I long for you in the morning
I long for you when I'm cold
I long for your feeling of peace and home .

I'm just a hand me down friend,
You grew out of me like your loose split ends.

[ ] I missed the familiar taste of your lips on mine, like the exciting nostalgia of looking out at the peach tinted sun kissed glow of the mountains we both love. It’s just like it used to be but so much more. You pull me in I know you feel it too.

The end of Summer draws nearer by the second. I can feel the rain coming as my bones tighten. The salty air of the coast engulfs my lungs, the taste of the ocean lingers on my tongue. I'm going to miss this. Everyone is saying the world is ending, they've been saying it for weeks now but this time, this time it's happening. Death is not a myth anymore. Death is a waiting visitor approaching our doorsteps.

Recently life has been nothing more,
Than fleeting moments dragging me under.
And you're what my thoughts turn to
When I'm sad,
Do you bring this downcast or a small glimmer of hope,
Simply enough to keep me from burning down?
But.
I love you, maybe I just love the thought of you.
No I love you.
But I can't say it.
That's why,
I'm putting it in this pathetic poem that no one's gonna read,
That's why,
I'm a pathetic person that no one's gonna need.
I look at you but you can't see me,
Try a little harder,
I simply need a favor
Can you keep this between you and me?
Because I'm just a pathetic person that no one's gonna need.
This was my attempt to get it all out on paper,
But this is just a screen.

Did you ever
Think on behalf of my feelings
Next time
Think of how selfish you are
When you say
I love you.

You're like
The city lights at night
A scratch in music
Exposed for too long
The coast line
A dislocated spine
Dream sequence on repeat
For years in the backseat
Slow guitar
And the North Star

Nights become bearable when
Your dream is pressed up against you
Softly her heartbeat drowns out every worry.

It's 9pm
And it's cloudy again
My demons are not what you have
But what you have is not what you want
Because you just go around and flaunt
But I'm just trying to be me
Why can't anyone see
I'm tired of fighting this world alone
Tired of going to bed with God on the phone
I need thirty more minutes of sleep
I need to find me
But too much static on this channel
And then there's him with his **** flannel
Why do I do this to me and to you
I'm sure you're missing me too
But just don't know what I've been going through
The sky is dark blue now
Don't be scared anymore my friend
It's just a frown

I'm scared to death of what comes next
But maybe it's not about how I feel.

Use me
I want to feel your hurt
Keep digging for me
for more pain
I need it like you need those needles in your skin
Let the ink bleed from your pores
Into the darkness we breathe the last breaths of this game we count by months and years
i told you I don’t need your here but why did you listen to me

I dread the sleep and the thoughts each week

Hey, do you remember how the honeysuckle tasted in December?
Spring and winter.
I still think about those words that you whisper ,
My hair, in your fingers
Hey, Are you home right now?
I know it’s late but I know somehow

We could

Run in the backyard,
Laughing as we sit on your trampoline
Stay with me until we both fall asleep
Dream of tomorrow, unaware of how it comes so quickly

Hey, do you remember?
How the honeysuckle tasted in December?