It was never mine if it is gone.
If it comes back, still it can go
what is mine can never be gone.

Temporal nature, temporarily, most things come as a loan
One fine day, all deals be done and I'd be gone.
The body will remain, because it wasn't mine
I'll be fine where I'll be with all that's me and mine,
A new body or none.

It was never mine if it is lost.
If it returns, still it can be tossed.
What's truly mine can never be crossed.

Ephemeral, like morning frost,
Most pleasures come at a heavy cost.
One fateful day, the game will be played, few lost.
The breath will cease, the heart might stop.
For this frail form, the body won't gallop.
I'll be fine where I'll be, with all that's of high importance,
Me, and mine, a soul released, and won.
A new form or none?

In the hush of your lingering,  
I hear whispers—  
lost things,  
unvoiced sighs,  
a heartbeat (soft),  
echoing the  
darkness.

You were a flicker,  
a flame  
in my cold night,  
a ghostly joy  
wrapped in  
tragedy,  
and I thought—  
I’d lost you,  
hopelessly  
drowning in  
memories,  
always.

Lie to me,  
as I (morph)  
into shadows;  
tell me I’m fine,  
even as I unravel,  
because we are  
two souls,  
caught  
in this storm.

Strangers,  
falling in love,  
lost in c h a o s—  
every touch  
a spark,  
every glance  
a promise,  
written in the  
stars (above).

I’ll save you,  
even if it means  
sacrificing t r u t h,  
clutching at the fragile  
beauty of  
our delusion.

So let us dance  
in the ruins,  
the world crumbling  
around us,  
embracing echoes  
of tangled desires,  
until the night swallows  
us whole & we find  
solace in the  
darkness we’ve  
created.

Lie to me as we overdose on love,  
lie to me as I disassociate  
and give birth to another me—  
a reflection,  
a shadow,  
lost in the echoes  
of what we could be,  
a heartbeat (soft)  
in the silence,  
forever entwined.

My dear, dear friends...

I've been struggling with mental health issues for a long time. But the past few months hit particularly hard. I've had several depressive episodes from sep/24 to mid jan/25. After that, I was fine for a bit over a month and I got super excited about it. But yesterday, intrusive thoughts started creeping in again, followed by the black hole that comes right after. Another episode - I hate those *******.

I'm gonna need some time out to take care of myself, so I won't write for a while. I've thought about deleting my account several times, but I know I'd regret it. For it'd part me from the amazing people I've met here.

I guess this is not really goodbye, but a farewell. I wish each and everyone of you a beautiful life.

Sincerely,

Peter

soft amidst the melting snows
peeping through the dew and ice
'neath the chill of wind that blows
'cross the plains of paradise

from the earth, in tender darkness
cradled by the arms of death
blooms a violet, purple grace,
and two pearls of fairy breath

soft from midst the snows that melt
peering through the latticed ice
'neath caress of wind heartfelt
breathed from Garden of Delights

from the soil, in the black,
wake from sleep of coldest season,
deepest green with gloss of lac,
zephyr blows from gardens' Eden.

these poems here
tethered to me
by some unknown
uncontrollable force
I didn’t ask for this
I didn’t ask for any of this
all I wanted to do was to play
with the women and the music
and maybe even my kids every now and then
not knowing, not caring,
not believing, not searching
for a higher purpose
for a greater meaning
for an elixir of divinity
but they have arrived
in different variances
& mass quantities
I didn’t ask for this
now it is here
I can’t stop
I won’t stop
until it kills me
until it kills something inside of me
until there is nothing left
except
these poems here.