Either I wasn't good enough
Or I was too good to believe

Even though I knew exactly what the problem was
It couldn't be fixed

That was the day
The faraway earthquake could be felt
The birds in the sky
Flew in criss-crossed directions
All the beauty of the world
Was shown in a bright naked light
And under closer examination
Became not beautiful anymore

That was the day
I broke both my hands
I strained my voice
Shouting the most horrible truths
All the beauty of a life
Was shown to be an awful lie
And I haven't played a melodic note since
I don't feel like making music

With love,
Everything

As I go to sleep
You're waking up
I'll sleep well
I promise
I hope you did too
Good morning
And goodnight
As I go to sleep
You're waking up
But if you think of me
Listen to my songs
Learn the words and sing along
You'll be with me in my dreams

If life is like a game
Why would we play it?
When we already know who loses

Everyone

Because even if you win
You lose in the end

and as for grace
there are angels in this place
and they sing
only blessings that they bring
fruits unto me
my holy protectors
I know of grace
as a brilliant light which you've waited to see all your life
the most inspirational light
as though all your pain was worth it
just for the chance to see

this was my grace
and even the delicate leaves that dance in the wind
move in a way that I believe
it's a softly pulled thread
it's being in love with everything
everything in love with me
she moves with grace
into empty minds and hearts
through city squares and darkened halls
dancing through all of life
with incredible beauty
impeccable flair
and as for grace
once I felt the touch
I knew as much
if ever there were something to save me

I don't ask for much
It is only everything
Only the world
Only that you would help me
With unadorned sincerity
Subtleness and humility
Piety and virtue
Show me mercy

and as for grace
there are angels in this place
and they sing
only blessings that they bring
fruits unto me
my holy protectors
I know of grace
as a brilliant light which you've waited to see all your life
the most inspirational light
as though all your pain was worth it
just for the chance to see

this was my grace
and even the delicate leaves that dance in the wind
move in a way that I believe
it's a softly pulled thread
it's being in love with everything
everything in love with me
she moves with grace
into empty minds and hearts
through city squares and darkened halls
dancing through all of life
with incredible beauty
impeccable flair
and as for grace
once I felt the touch
I knew as much
if ever there were something to save me

I watched you begin,
no one ever filled the space in between so beautifully,
as every place you reach becomes the future,
as right now is every moment,
I watched you move,

I wrote my songs for the dead

The sun
I watched you rise,
nothing ever as pure as the way you shine,
no darkness can withstand,
every star is the center,
I saw your light,

And wrote my songs for the dead,

fears,
spirits hear my voice,
carry me on the wind as a feather,
and melody,
harmony,
it's possible,

dreams,
as morning breaks over you,
over the land, I hear you breathe,
and melody,
harmony,
it's possible.

I get so *******
So angry
Only because what I say
Leaves you unaffected by its gravity
Its a not a moon
Not a world
Not galaxy
Its a black hole

And once you're in
You can never escape

And what kind of star
Brags about its brightness
What kind of world
Wants you to make it your home
When you'll only destroy it
Take it for what you see
Without spiritual connection
Like its not sacred

I never knew the gravity
So I don't know
Which way to fall
It was all so much to me
It was almost everything

And whatever is in my hands
I let it drop
Only to see
Which way it falls

But this weight I carry
Like groceries I carry in
Garbage I'm hauling off
It was all everything
It was almost so much to me

Can't be forever head in the clouds
Gravity will bring me down
My unknown direction
I'm still crashing to the ground

What's really sad
Is that the great
Go most unnoticed
By the normal

Takes one to know one
I'm sure I've said before
So great sees great
And wise see why

But the lowest common denominator spends the money

You'll grow in so many ways
The love in your heart,
The dreams in your head,
You'll grow and you'll grow

But I promise
As long as you know me
You'll never grow lonely

Its not a sword I want to hold
I'm caught between a sword and a mirror
Its not a part I want to play
I never asked to be the hero
If its a question when she looks at me
But answers they don't come for cheap
I can't seem to buy my way
I can't seem to find a way

Its all I ever want

I'll hold you in my arms
I'll whisper in your ear
I've waited all this life
Guinevere

Its not a war I want to wage
Me against the king
Life's blood for your love
Its not a part I want to play
I didn't ask to be the villain
I never want to be the villain
If its a question of faith
You know that I believe like angels sing to me

Heavenly decree

I would spend my life
In service to the queen
How much I love you
Guinevere

I'll hold you in my arms
I'll whisper in your ear
I've waited all this life
Guinevere

I would spend my life
In service to the queen
How much I love you
Guinevere

How much I love you
Guinivere

I've forgotten how she feels under my hands
The way glorious music came forth as my fingers touched her neck
I held her in my lap and every note was right
She spoke to me so beautifully

The shape of her body
The way my voice danced around her
A song I had to sing
And I was happy

I haven't felt her in forever
But I still listen
Maybe such dulcet notes alive
Still strive to grace my life

Maybe life is not a game
But I play
And I'll play

I've forget the way frets make me lose all worry
I can hold her in such a way that makes a meaningful chord
Finding balance in her scales
And knowing harmony

The shape of her body
The sound of love and loss
A song I have to sing
And I'll know peace

Maybe life is just music
But I play
And I'll play

She is a gypsy queen
My queen
Who sees sadness in my eyes
And falls in love
She is on the road
And in the stars
Hanging over me as clouds
Shining over me as suns
She is a gypsy queen
Belladonna
A femme fatale fatally stricken
And falling further
She lives by her own rules
And in her dreams
Where our bodies intertwine
And in our hearts

We both know
We know it well
Nothing last forever
Not even pain

I wondered if she could love
But I know she does
Even love that is ending
Never dies
She fell in love
With the sadness in my eyes
And broke her own rules
To see me smile

Reality is pretty funny
Between the strains and pains
And hunger pangs
And people who think bangs still look good
When they never did
Not even in the eighties

I've just been looking for happiness
And I found it in the most unlikeliest of places
A morbid place of loss and sorrow
Called Burger King
I bought some onion rings
And they were crispy enough!!!!!

Still I lose
Still I hold onto
What I never held in the first place
And I lose my faith
And I lose my hope
But I still find a place for humor

I still laugh

And I'm the king
Who you want to be
I'll have empty hands and empty pockets
But everything is mine

So grab those onion rings
With both hands
And let the crispness guide you

First five syllables
And then another seven
Followed by five more

I want a different life
But that's hard to come by
I'll try a new haircut instead

I may say half truths
But never complete lies

I have my broken hands
I'm punching walls
But never breaking through
And the irony is that these hands that hurt so much
Used to bring me such joy
When I was holding you
Well
They are still my hands
And not yours
We only share the wounds
Because the only truth I've found from introspection
Is that I only hurt
Because I hurt you
Still
My hands my be broken
Bitter cradling shattered glass
Holding broken frets
But when I analyze and over-analyze what really happened
I found it's something I create
Beautiful music you don't want to hear

We aren't holding hands anymore

I love you as dying light
A flame ephemeral in the darkest night
The eyes of a ghost
The thorns of a rose
The blood I give unto your name
I only hear your voice in dreams
And awakened
I hear your pleading screams
Your tears that fall in streams
Your oceans
Only hoping for an island
I love you as your legs
I watch them run away
To some paper world
Where the engravings aren't on rocks
But stains on papyrus
And the colors fade with years
And get buried by the time
I chisel into suns your wants
I mark upon the walls your eyes
I score upon the earth your flame
I grow into your wings as wind
I love you as hands are meant to touch
As waking up will keep a dream
Where the sum of the parts is lesser than the whole
And your breath taste sweeter with my name on your lips
I love you as a siren in the night
As music
As warning
As peace of sunny day
As turbulency storming
I love you as the rain
My fingers skywards falling
You are more than skin to me
More than a thought
Better than dream
A part of my everything
I can only know
I was born when you became

These hands are meant to touch
My arms are made to hold
I was made to feel
Every part of you

Its no fun
Having problems hanging over your head
Waiting for the drop
I would rather they all fall on me at once
So I can start to pick up the pieces
And move on

A heartbeat in darkness
I know the way the rain can fall
And empty spaces
I know empty spaces

I know nothing at all
Go leap your bar
Go fill your jar
I know the silence

I could never steal the heat of the sun
To give you warmth
I could never cut the night apart
And bring you light

My feet are only carriage
And destinations never reached
And there is beauty in a soul
I never show you

Hasn't heaven crushed us under
Such joyful sounds can't get me high
Can't give me life
I know not anymore

I know you now
I know you know

There is not enough beauty in the world

And adding to it
Only takes it away
Dont take it away

I live on shorelines
You live in horizons
There is not enough beauty in the world

Tonight might last forever if we let it

Or tomorrow sun may rise

All the pain
All the frozen rain
All the strength we feign
And hope that's all in vain

These stories we would tell
If only we had someone to trust

All the past
These cynics and iconoclasts
Ideals we hold to fast
And dreams that never seem to last

These stories we would tell
If we knew we had someone to talk to

And maybe last year wasn't
What we wish it would be
But the future is much brighter
Than we ever thought it could be

These stories that tear us apart
Are what in the present build us

And in the future fill us
With the peace and prosperity we deserve
February was so cold
But we march to someplace warmer

Talk to me
Talk to me
You talk to me
I talk to you

If every year before has been sorrow
This next one will be happy

And I'll do all I can
Left and right
Sound and sight
The futures bright

And you'll have a happy birthday

(At least I hope you will)

A hard sun gonna rise
Beating me black in the eyes
Too much light will only show
My scars
A hard rain gonna fall
For once and once for all
Put me to the ground
My love

And with her last step
She walks to me
My suicide
I feel like I'm alive

A hard night bringin stars
a misforgotten dark
A sleep a couple hours
A dream
A hard sun gonna turn
Burn away my broken skin
Make me all the dust
The always been

And in the sunset
I'm waiting there
An empty death
And life forever

My broken legs my broken wings
Fire in my heart
That I may walk
May walk
Have faith
Wings of an angel eyes of a soldier
Vision of a gentle host
Only an angel could save me
Save me
Have faith
And the earth may open up
As I am open
To be forever
To me
Forever
Have faith

Its already in your heart
When you are love
You have love
And you'll never feel lonely again
You've always been the source
When you are light
You have light
And you'll never fear darkness again

My dreams
Are in your head
The way it feels to know you felt me
The way it feels

My hope
Is in your life
The way it feels under your breath
The way it feels

I cant live
Until your hands are finding me
I can't be
Until you find a way

My love
Lives in your blood
The way it feels to be inside you
The way it feels

My heart
Is in your hands
The way it feels to take a beating
The way it feels

I can't live
Until your fingers touching me
I can't live
Until you find a way

Your head
Its all I ever want
Your beauty all for me

This is my heart
Some abandoned field
Where feet don't walk
And I won't expect a flower to grow
Sunset is happening now
Even in the morning
Where the night becomes so dark
The stars find strength to shine

Shine mercy
Show
Be a light
As I'm the skin
Shine on me

This is my heart
On display for you
Forget the blood that leaves a stain
Hear a voice
And dont worry
That its been long since I have smiled
If im falling apart
To fall into you

Be the arms
Hold
Be the hands
To touch a soul
And heal me

I see it
I see it in the eyes of strangers in the street
Passers by I'll never pass by and greet
I see it in the chasers who never catch a dream
Only wanting to keep something that is fleeting
I hear it
I hear it in my own head as I read a strangers words
Ill-equiped to express such sorrowful pain
I hear it in the clumsy strewn together sounds
I understand what is said in the veins
I feel it
The heart beat
Blood and dirt
Scars that are reminders
Stars that can't be reached
I feel it in the depth that is an ocean
In a universe inside a mind
Where the horses have wings
And we can be saved anytime

I'm dealing with heartbreak
In the same old familiar way
By breaking everything around me
And blaming it on you

By breaking myself
Because I feel I deserve the pain

A speck of paradise
A miracle abandoned
Only waiting for the clouds to change to gray
Hanging in those dark untitled spaces
Her petals are a useless perfection
Her poetry a moonlit someday

A messy galaxy
A teardrop infinity
Grace doesn't paint amorous feelings
On headaches in the space under the bed
Her flower blooms a bruise
Her worlds are dying words

I awoke
During the middle of my own heart transplant surgery
I did not feel fear
Only amazement
A body alive
Without blood being pumped
A man alive without a heart

My old heart
Just wasnt working like it should anymore
It's been through too much pain
It has been broken too many times
Too many hopes
Weighing too heavily

I awoke
I saw my old battered heart on a table to my left
And my new heart
In some unnamed doctors hands
I felt to my chest
And it was an empty cavity

I wasn't afraid
I knew my love should be as dead as the dreams I used to have
But its still alive
It still has another chance
I was still alive
When I awoke

You don't know
What hell is
The way
I do

I do
The weight
What help is
I don't know

I didn't know of blood
Until you cut me
Crimson staining everything around me
And all my faith is gone
My hope is gone
And dreams that say tomorrow brings a dawn

Hell is a place
I know

I only learned of fire
Once you burnt me
My skin the embodiment of agony
As all my truths are gone
My love so wasted
And clouds are made to cover up the sun

Hell is a place
I've been there

I only feel the emptiness
Completely
Darkness finding every space around me
And all my light is drawn
To the abysmal void
I don't know how I'm meant to make it through the night

Hell is a place
That lasts forever

Hell is real
I should know
I've been there
And came back

Hello beautiful
Do you feel it?
The dreams you had
Coming true

You are beautiful
Are you beautiful?
At least I think you are
It is my truth

That what you feel
Is what is real
Do you feel beautiful?
Do you feel love?

Just a throwaway poem
For someone that I'll never know
Someone who is beautiful
Its my way to say hello

So hello beautiful
There are fires in hell
And storms on the seas
And darkness in between the points of light
There is loss in life
And pain in love
And hope in the bitterness of sorrow
And then there is you

Hello beautiful

We all have ideas
Ideals
Things we want to say
And wish we could

Now a thousand tons are weighing down
I starve
I have and I hold
Having only to lose
Trapped in something
I cannot understand
I cannot escape
I'll never master

We all have feelings
Joy and pain
Things we want to explain
And wish we could

I'm throwing darts in a darkened room
In every direction
And becoming angry
When I don't get a bulls-eye
I'm wishing on stars
And numbers
And gods
I'm throwing coins in a well

We all have dreams
We work to make true
Things we want to see
We want to be

I want to be heard
Nothing more
Hello,
I am a poet

I don't know who you are
And you don't know me
But somehow I know
We are both judging each other right now

Based on the words we have said

She had such eyes
A whole world
A spiral galaxy
A universe inside
She had such beautiful eyes
Peaceful lakes
Turbulent oceans
Reflecting pools at night
She had such poisonous eyes
I drink them in
Becoming addicted
And intoxicated
She had such smiling eyes
Like mirrors in the sun

Her face is the haunt of my night
Her eyes
Lips
My forty foot billboard
My Vesuvius
I see moons and suns
Beginnings and ends
I see it all
And more
My great world war
And as all the soldiers breach the front
The enemy lines
The battle won
Lost
Memory
A spirit that finds me alone
In the hours after midnight
When I crave her visage
And pray to any god that may be real
Her eyes
Her skin
Her face
Her love
And I tread on
Seeing death with every morning
And no stars inside my night
Just a painful vision
And hopeless end
Her face is my marble statue fallen to dust
And I am the artist
Setting hands
To no purpose

I, no longer drowning
hold fast
current around me
tried to pull me under
but her
I, I found a way to hold on
how to be strong
I found a way
her hands
its almost everything I need
when I dont speak the words to say "I love you"
I dont have to
because everytime she looks in my eyes
she can see she is saving me again
not wave nor rapid
her hands

Do you have a hero?
Was he just a man?

Such beautiful words to bring you pleasure
He lives in my five minutes of thought
Silver snaked-tounged charmer
Claws, and jaws, and teeth, and all
A hungry hellion disguised outrightly
As a love, a father, a friend
Your standing on the ledge
He wants you to jump
Into a void
Into the mouth of darkness
He wants your flesh
He wants to eat
He wants your death
And he'll call it a beautiful life
He still is speaking
And his words are mixed and missed and often remiss
He's going to speak
Still
Listen to me
I'm only here because you need me to be
He's only there because he needs you
There's only one voice speaking truth
Step off that ledge
Fall into a lovers arms
And be safe
Yes there are demons
Who give every inch of might
To try to reach you
Still
I will keep you

She's the kind of girl
Who has a hiccup
And thinks its a heart attack
I'm the kind of man
Who doesn't concern myself with what it really is
Only what she thinks it is

And while I nurse her back to health
That she never really lost
I'm dying

Everything
For a reason
And if I go through the lows
Its a simple connection
To being high
And all the highs
That I have know
Were really only me waiting
To come back down
And want again

And when its coursing through my veins
I know it will reach my heart
And that I'll be
Forever changed

Everything
Drugs or love
The pleasure that I felt
Couldn't last forever
Only illusion
And all the highs
That I have have felt
Were really something to learn from
Pain I would feel
Strength I would gain

How can you explain abstract concepts
To someone who hasn't yet grasped the basics?

I guess you can't
But that doesn't mean that I'll stop trying

I see the colors of the city lights
I move so fast I cannot read the signs
The city is breathing
I breath it in
I'm going downtown to see me girl again
And when I'm lonely she is still my friend
I cannot touch her now
She loves me anyhow

I know I move so fast
I know I move so fast, please keep up
I know I move too fast, I don't want to lose you now
I don't want to lose you now

I see the dreamers in their plastic cars
I watch them slinking into smokey bars
They want to drink the stars
They think they'll never reach
I'm going downtown on the same highway
Where it's not me and it's never my way
I cannot touch her now
I love her anyhow

We are only shadows
Ninety miles an hour
Your only skin
I want to touch
We are only shadows
Ninety miles per hour
Your only love
I don't want to lose you now

I know I move so fast
I know I move so fast, I know where I'm going
I know I move too fast, I don't want to lose you now
I don't want to go without