I question you
I'm ever optimistic
But somewhat nihilistic
And it is nothing

I question you
I bathe myself in hopeful thoughts
Because my inner cynic
Knows its nothing
                  That you want

I question you
Remain in pleasant spirit
Knowing ghost will only bother
Those who hear

I question you
When I try to be positive
Because vibes and all that
I know its something
                    If it's not

I question you

How many strikes off a lighter
I need this cigarette to burn
And I'll tune my guitar by ear
Simply to play your favorite song

And now I'm smoking
Now I'm jamming
Falling into grooves
Natural and pure

How many cigarettes
Until I get cancer
And the simple joy of smoke
Becomes a pain I can't enjoy

As I've enjoyed before
I sing a song unsung
And you would sing along
Without knowing the words

And whatever it is
I have been looking for
Has been found
And I quit  smoking

I have all I ever need

I remember
When the only sound you made
Was a flower blooming
Softly and sweetly
Honey colored
I remember
How I couldn't believe
Anything in this world could be so beautiful
Delicate and changing
Porcelain skin

And the bird that flew from your heart
Landed gently on my windowsill
And sang a song
I alone could hear

I remember
Even when the skies were grey
I felt the sunshine on my skin
The warmth of your touch
The light in your eyes
I remember
Never fearing darkness
Only feeling what man was made to feel
Wide eyed to the sun rise
I hoped would last forever

I remember
And that's what hurts me most
Remembering
When I only want to forget

That the bird that flew from your soul
Was pierced by a poisoned arrow
A song alone was silenced
And only I knew

I know I've been wrong
Been wrong
I repent
I repent
I pray the heavens above
Can forgive me

So that maybe once more
In a miserable life time
I can feel the glorious warmth
Of the angels being near me

I rode a white steed
Across the netherworlds only to reach
I rode a white steed
A knight in shining metallic armor

I fought wars for the queen
I stormed the castle walls and razed them to the ground
I fought wars for her honor
Hers is a cause that I call noble

I rode a white steed
I fought wars for the queen
I was a knight in shining armor
I fought wars for her honor

And as I'm dying
Bleeding out slowly
On a raging battlefield
Cut down by mighty king Arthur

My blood on Excalibur's blade

I die in peace
Knowing my last thoughts will be
I rode a white steed
I fought wars for the queen

The greatest irony of humanity
Is that we fight wars
For peace

The way she moves
Music fills the air
From the bright side of the moon
Shines in darkness everywhere
The way she moves
Magic fills the air
I found a way to take
Soon I'll find a way to share

I could stay
Here forever
In the comfort
Of her warmth
I would say
But I'll never
Its much better
Without words

The way she gives
Her spirit freely to the air
Lighting up the room
Cutting through becoming clear
The way she gives
Her body hides a soul to share
I found out that I need
Can I find a way to care?

ive closed my eyes before
been so in my mind red
the skies turned red
and times at night you could only run
from the demon hunting you
i might know a little more now
i know about costs
that pain that you found that you cant get rid of
hunger and loss
like dying of thirst
when your lips go chapped
and your mouth is so dry
every time you swallow
you see a ghost
             and an angel
maybe i know a little more now
but with that knowledge becomes more questions
how can you feel something?
havent i seen angels form around me
and say "it will be difficult, but you must fight!
                         and let our love be the strength to guide you"
as though i saw the sun
from outerspace
the most brilliant illumination
from when even the clouds overhead
were colored red

i have found a darkness so bleak
that now even in the moonless night
i still recognize there is light
i still feel the pull of the tide
and the stars
and everything beautiful
just the breath i take
is a song
because even though i may not ever die
it feels good to know im alive
i might know a little more now

I saw the sun rise on a hillside
Morning and infinity collide
And the colors are more glorious than words can express
I saw the sun rise
As I fell
I saw the sun paint the scattered noon
Bringing the world the heat of the day
Giving our blood reason and our heartbeats meaning
I witnessed the noon
Falling down
I saw the sun set in ****** hues
A life and a forever
Where the only dreams we had are living
I couldn't sleep
On the ground

I saw the moon rise
And I heard it speak to me
Nothing much
Only your name
Everything

I love the stars in the night
Do you know how much I love you?

I saw the moon in the night
Nearly new but growing full
A voice I can't describe from a face I can't explain
To make each moment
More beautiful

I keep seeing a face
As the dancers move across the stage
Flickering flames
Faces and names
A candle with a scent
Of cinnamon
I see a face
In the wreckage of auto accidents
Ambulances glaring sirens
Red lights
And hospitals
And innocent victims

I can't forget a face
A Judas smile
Medusa hair
Othello eyes
The most beautiful face
And in her hands carrying Brutus's knife

E tu
E tu

I see a face
Even when I close my eyes

I see she loves
As a winged seraph
She guards a holy gate
And does not admit the beasts
I see she loves
As a page of scripture
She speaks a sacred word
To the devoted faithful few
I see she loves
As an angels blessed harp
The only ones who can hear
Are the pious and pure of heart
I see she loves
But I am just a beast
No matter my reverenece
I see she does not love me

No respect
None given
What isn't earned
Is not deserved
And you can think
Your **** don't stink
But the truth is that it does

No respect
Only lies
I see through veils
And darkest nights
You can always play
What you want to be
It will never change who you are

Snake charmer
Fire alarm
Doomed by karma
Attempted dissarmer
Of the man
Who holds the ultimate weapon

The truth

No respect
None given
Your fallacy
I will not believe
And if your point is to prove
I'll prove it to you
You should never have ****** with me

I see you walking through gardens
Every footfall a flower growing
Hyacinths and crocuses
Roses blood red in color
I see you in the garden
That began all humanity
All the love
Inside of me

I see you traipsing in the night
Your hands creating stars
Dust becoming light
Which shines onto my soul
I see you flying in the darkness
Your hope becomes my dream
Love divine
On angel wings

I see you dancing in the rain
Your hair wet with emotion
Your heart beating into me
So that I may feel
That my battered hands may touch
Your skin a broken cloud
Creating life
Inside of me

It was a kaleidoscope
The color of the fall
The changing of the season
I thought that I could have it all

I should have known
The colors I was shown
Was brilliance growing dimmer
A greyness I can't handle

And now all the branches
And all the trees
Are barren
Dead to the world

And dead to me

I should have known

I grow sick and tired of the world at times
How many dreams I have
And I awake in realization
Nobody really cares
Even the god they teach is loving

I only want to be

And its too much to ask

I grow sick and tired of doing the right thing
At the right time in the right way
And being shown that it's all wrong
That no matter how I try
It cannot be enough

I only want to be
Happy

And its too much too ask

I grow weary and despondent
How many times I lose
How many things I've lost
My empty hands attest to this
My broken heart, my emptiness

I only want to be
Happy
To be loved

And it's too much too ask

I'm sorry
Well let me start with an apology
I do not mean to offend
Because the truth
I want everyone to love me

Well, I'm sorry
But I have to say this now
But Islam is not religion
It is offense to god
It condones proselytization

if you want to find god
                    You will
If someone has to show you
Then it's meaningless

Still sorry to say
And I'm not some Christian apologist
And I know people are sensative
And I know I'm misunderstood
And I know I may be wrong

But I have to say
Because it covers all religion
Not just the evil I have cited
In America children love MTV
Because they cannot see what's good yet

and if you want to find god
                   You will
It means nothing
When you convince child

And I'm sorry
Because there are Christian terrorist too
They bombed in Oklahoma
And they're in westboro baptist church

Still I'm sorry
But I remember September eleventh
I remember jihad
And I know as much
Killing in the name of god is blasphemy

*if you want to find God
                You will
It means nothing
If fear is involved

If you **** one person,
You **** all of humanity

If you help one person,
You help all of humanity

Its plainly written in the Koran
I guess some people just can't read

I fell asleep last night
Listening to wind
I woke up to buildings crumbling
Roofs collapsing
Caving in
Failing walls
Folding into themselves
Falling
Cities burning
Ruination
Becoming ash
Roads of wreckage
Detritus
And devastation
I fell asleep last night
Listening to wind
And I slept well

Living like a shaman
Reading stars in the night
And feeling the spirits
We are the same
Just cosmic reflections
In a pool of life

I speak to the shadows
My constant companions
I speak to them
But they don't speak back

Dying like a soldier
Fighting through front lines
Tanks and bombs
Bullets to strike me down
A manifestation
The pain of life

I speak to the shadows
As though they understand
And I understand them
We cry together

Being as a madman
A lunatic howling at the moon
With a pain I can't forget
A pain that pushes me on
A realization
The truth of life

I speak to the shadows
With nothing in my hands
A hole in my heart
And a hope that they can hear

I stare in your direction
I know your out there
Somewhere
Waiting for me

You've never really lived
If you haven't ever stared off into the distance

Theres note of you in every song I sing
A voice of you in every word I speak
A truth of you in every place I seek
A drop of you in all the times I bleed

I stare across space
I know I see you
Somehow
Waiting for me

If youve never stared off into the distance
Your life is a shame

I should hate you
But when you told me you loved me
I said I loved you too
And time is time
People are people
Circumstances change
Changing feelings
And now what I feel
Well I know what love is
I should hate you
But I said I loved you
And I said it because it was true
And time is time
People are people
Circumstances change
I knew all of that going in
I should hate you
But I said I loved you
So what else can I do?

And its so smart
Its so smart
That no one understands it
No one can relate
No one really likes it
It only gets the hate

Why is it so?
We always figure it out
When it doesn't matter any more

I take your hand and guide you through the fire
I walk with you
Aware as I can be that I'll only get burned
That my skin as ash and my bones as coal
Will no longer be beautiful
I take your hand
And watch as madmen fall in love with you
And you feel their love
Knowing they only bring abyss
For you to fall in and die as horribly as any sinner did
I watch
The eyes of a savior knowing
Angels can't exist without some demon to fight against
Some feeling from before
When man was animal
And instincts are primal
They know your skin but not your heart
Your voice but not your song
Your eyes
My endless skies
To fly through
Or endless oceans
To drown in
Not knowing how to swim
I take your hand
Knowing I can hold it better
Reading lines across your palms
Love as shining alms
Love
I take your hand
And fall when you're falling
And rise when your rising
Walking through gardens
As evil surrounds your halo

Now the clouds are leaving
And the promise of rain
That never falls
The riverbed run dry
The clouds are leaving
Over the eastern horizon
But what remains
Only a feeling

You can't be the one I love
Even though I love you
It just can't be this way
Its nothing anymore

And I had to watch
From behind a screen
So dark I could see the north star
At high noon
I saw it leaving
No star to guide me home
Just a lost wanderer
Afraid and all alone

And I'll never make it
The way I want to be
It can't be this way
So I won't

This love I thought was honey
Nectar on my lips
This taste as sweet
As saccharine
I needed it to live
This love I thought was honey
Was really bitter poison
Now it seems
As cyanide
Pumping through my system

Pervading in my blood
On a crusade for my heart
And if I ever love again
I could not tell you how

I throw water into the river just to save it from its thirst
The throat of rapids raging I imagined as always parched
The banks of tributaries are always arid in their craving
The conflux only symbolizing lust
I dream the point where rivers meet as always foaming in desire
Burning hot and desperate in their yearning and their want
Longing now to only know and see the deepest ocean
I throw water into to the river trying to save it from itself

And then I quickly drown inside the rain

Need it be always so painful?
God's law
Not man's
Not a tool for shadowy userpers
Who bend the will
Through fear

It is love
A seed that has been planted
But in toxic soil
Doesn't grow

Need it be always so painful?
A fractured light
A broken rainbow
Not an infliction
But a benediction
A showering of blessings

It is love
A seed that has been planted
With tender care we watch it grow
A purple bloom

It is love
The most beautiful flower we can see

And these words are screaming
Beating into my brain
Worms are creeping
Screaming like the souls trapped in hell
And I don't hear
I won't be change
Under the water so long
I forgot how to breath

And it doesn't take
It mixes up
It shimmies and shakes
It throws to the ground
It never breaks
It never

And you are the litmus paper
The acid test
The basest emotions
The lowest common denominator
And you can't be divided
Can't be changed
Already what you are
Only what your told

Does it take
Mixing up
A thousand guns
And sharpened knives
It never dies
It never

I tore you apart
I wanted to build a bridge
To an island
I couldn't swim to
I wanted to build a castle
Impregnable
Protection from the invaders
I wanted to build a tower
A beacon
A landmark

But instead I tore you apart
And then you gave me your heart
And then I tore you apart

Its not what I wanted to do
I never wanted to be so cruel

It's a beautiful thing
When the idiot turns out to have been right all along
It's a miserable thing
An unbearable thing
When the fool was the only one who had any wisdom
It's a marvelous thing
When the loser is going to win in the end
It's a horrible thing
A terrible thing
When we find out what it is
But its too late to change the way it was

So this madman
Resorts to running though the night
With nothing in his hands
And no place to call home
And all he has
Is the thought

It's a beautiful thing

Its cool to be a nihilist
And I was before
And my motto;
"I don't give a ****"
I really didn't
Because what is there to care about
Somethings really nothing anymore

But I began to see connection
And even the insignificant
Holds so much meaning
If you can see it
If you believe it
If that's what you make it to be

It's cool to be a nihilist
But it is foolish
Because music exists
And love
And happiness
And if you've felt them
You know how very real they are

My connection to god
Existentialism
The god inside of me says make it be

And it is

Cover up the moon and the stars
A hurtful veil over my widening sky
A vengeful malicious intent
A never reason

It should be raining

Listen to the murmur in the crowd
The way the thunder grows louder
And the skies grow dimmer
As we await the storm

Cover up the sun
The clouds grow gray in anger
And the atmosphere becomes thick
And the land becomes dark

It should be raining

A ****** shroud
All that dream are disavowed
The thunder claps grow loud
The clouds are angry

Because they never could be the sun

It should be raining........

I like to know how you feel
Set my eyes on your heart
You love my words
I love your night
Make the day your hope
A soul trying not to hurt
A soul lost in pain

It's just rain

Think the way of light
Remember my song
People's minds make bodies cold
A reason why I drink
Smile a little darkness
Sleep in the arms of the sun
Broken I suppose
Tears are gonna fall

It's only rain

Pick apart piece by piece
A sledgehammer in a China shop
That we call love
A billion brittle bits
I bend until I break
And can't be fixed

All is ash, all is fire
All is wallowed in the mire
City walls will tumble
A broken heart will stumble
A finish line
The race is done

And a new race to be run

And always attempt again
A child in a candy shop
That we call love
Start to see the sunlight
I die to be reborn
And love once more

All is earth freshly turned over
All are seeds I've planted
A mote I've swam across
A coin I couldn't toss
A starting gun
A race begun

Its time to run again

And all that I've destroyed
And buildings I've demolished
Its time to build again
A shining city

I like to write a love poem
I like the sun to rise
But the stark and dark and naked truth
In a world full of hate
The sun only sets

Ego and pride
Derision of some higher form
A lovers quarrel in a lighting storm
And war becomes the norm
I've bit my tongue

I've bit my tongue so hard
Bitten for so long
I bit my tongue clean off
From my mouth the blood will spill

you don't know me
Don't follow me now as I'm headed to war
It's a dumbed-down world
Full of immature adults
Who feel hate
In place
Of admiration

Low
Lower
Lowest
Common denominator
I'm speaking to you

My aim is to restore art
To written word
Its time you knew my name

Well you know
History repeats itself
History is forever
From the stars we're born from
To the dust we become

And more than that
I hate to be smart
When everyone else is dumb
I hate understanding
What no one else can

But science has shown
Our current desicions
Can change the past
Almost like right now
Is a microcosm of forever

So right now
Would you decide you love me?
Its your choice
Its only what you feel
We can be stars together

I'll cry a little dream for you
And wish on stars that can't escape black holes  
I'll love the way you fall
As I light a candle just to put it out
I'll see you in strangers on the street
As my mind hallucinates
I'll burn my crooked fingers
Trying only to hold misguided fire
I'll take ***-shots at the moon
Trying to **** it
And then I'll blame myself
When its there again tomorrow night
I'll see all the beauty
And feel its not meant for me
I'll feel all the pain
Of the thousand men who loved you before
I'll look at my skin
And only see marks you've left on me
I'll be selfish
When I don't deserve a thing
                         I'll start to see
                         It was never about me anyways
                         Feeding all my love to a void
                         Just trying to feel
                         Like it could be

My bright eyes hide darkness as a shadow in the day
A shadow growing longer
Cast now upon city sidewalks and bank building walls
A shadow of my soul
A face growing weary from the weight of the world
I want to love
But living is hard enough
I've got to lose
I've got to lose

I only know of impossibilities
Just the fact that I breath and I feel
Defies all the logic I knew as a child
But all the wonder is leaving me now
I can only be disillusioned
As eyes see from years of history before
Its a hateful world
Full of failure

My dreams are always strongest when I'm awake
A thought to hold into
When my strong hands need a reason to believe
A thought of morning
A night slowly creeping on vericose veins
I want the day
But my day can seem so long
I've got to lose
I've got to lose

I only know what I'm taught
So teach me not to feel
Let the world I work for
Let these days become unreal
The night is antiquity
Its been around longer than the day
And even the brightest star that shines
Still fades away

I've seen monuments crumble
Statues as art becoming lowly rubble
On the shores of ancient Alexandria
A lighthouse fell beneath the shore
Now, for those lonely mariners
Lost and wayward travelling lonely seas
And any island seen
Harbors only sirens singing
I've seen mountains
A glorious goal to tower above the world
A mind of the infinite
Aligned with the definite
I've seen mountains
Rock by stone
Even grain of sand
I've seen them sink into the sea
I've seen you
Feathers forming through the night
Feathers on an angels wing
I've seen Lucifer falling from grace
I've seen
I've seen my love be enough to save you
I've seen my love sent into a void
I've seen these dreams as a flower petal
I've seen a flower after bloom
What once was a source of beauty
Becoming only memory
A thought of something divine
To help me with my fight
Of these demons I've seen

I walk
Because you walk

I walk
With the pain of the world I know

I walk
But I will not probably get very far

I walk
Watching my feet so I don't fall down

I walk
With a heart beating your name

I walk
With the most irreverent steps

I walk
Knowing you walk as well

I walk
In joy because I'm in your thoughts

I walk
Towards the love in your heart

I walk
Because you walk towards me

I walk
Every foot-fall in your directuon

I walk through the mountains
Bright sunshine day
I walk alone with my band
A group of merry men
We walk through the mountains
And play our music as we go
A band alone with all its fans
Following where we may go

And I walk alone
Through the mountains
Music in my head
And from my fingertips
And my companions
And all admirers
Ten thousand people strong
I walk alone

Through the mountains

The spontaneity of roadside cars bombs
The cliff where I jump
Is a Dali painting
the abandon of a western moving train
Reckless in the wasteland
Of want and desire
I add fuel to the fire
And laugh at the pain I have wrought
Upon myself

Because now I'm a stranger
In a black and white film
I'll probably never see my home again

I want*        to change     my ideas
to change   the world       for the better
the world    but           my life forever
but          I cannot               I'm just a victim of habit
I cannot      change myself;         what I want is
change myself;     I want       what I need

Its all it can ever be

I wanted to tell you
Something
Anything
That would make it all alright
I don't know the words to say
But I'll say them anyways

Maybe I'm just a fool
Trying to solve crimes
Without any clues
And my voice can only be carried on the wind
Confused with the din
Of a million other peoples thoughts
And a letter from a thousand year old love affair

I wanted to love you
Right now
And forever
I wanted to be a light in darkness
I don't know that I can
But I'm trying anyways

Still, maybe I'm just a fool
Searching for the source
Of a pain I can't explain
And my emotions get the the better part of me
And take my control
Making me something I'm not
A dog in the night with a knife in my heart and the loss of a loveless life

I wanted to hold you

I wanted to tell you

I wanted to love you

But I don't know that I can

Forget the fame
Forget the stage
Forget the girls
Forget the money
I want people to hear my music
As an expression from my soul
A beautiful way to explain
My attempt to understand
And be understood
I want people to hear my music

And remember

It doesn't matter the things you've done
to me
You're still everything I want to be

It doesn't matter the things you've done

To me
Your everything I want to be

I want to feed you
Not feed the flame
I want to be the field
I want to be the rain
A seed inside your heart
Till the soil
Plant the crops
I want to be the harvest
And with the sunshine of love
We watch it grow

Not feed the flame
Not pushing wood unto a hearth
Tumultuous skies
And violent earth
And uneasy heavens
The only fire I want to feel
I use to cook for you a meal
Eat until you have your fill
Leaving room for my dessert

I want to feed you
Sustenance in ****** form
Nourishment for the soul
I want to feed you
You're starving appetite
I want to be your bread
I want to be your meat
A kitchen in a castle
A recipe for a queen
Ingredients in order
I want to be your dinner
The last meal that you eat
Before you go to sleep
I want to be your dream

The last meal that you need
And everything was leading to
From the seed, the soil, the rain
The time it took to let it grow
The mind that cultivates
The hands in the field
The back-breaking labor
The knowledge of the chef
I am your food
Laid upon your table
I want to feed you

Short poems garner attention
Sad to say
I guess that most people have
Short attention spans

And I'm done