I may love a sunny day
Bright eyes looking my direction
And even the sorrow is a song
I want to sing
But I love more
When the clouds roll in
And it starts to rain

I want to sing
Now the rivers flow
Now the crops can grow
Now we find relief

I hate the color grey
A flower growing in the shade
Because even when the night is black
I am clad in white
But I hate more
When the sky is grey
But the rain never falls

I want to cry

I want nothing more
Sea floors where we find the remnants of ancient merchants
Sunken while simply searching for profit
Soul entwined in sand and phosphorus
Body becoming whole with the glimpse of tomorrow
The marrow of my bones dwindling as light becomes food for my soul
I want nothing more that this
That I set my youthful mind on a distant star
And even time that ends will not keep me from reaching
Wine corks opened by delicate hands
Fingers that touch softly making me feel more
The warmth of my skin
The sound of my love in your beating heart
I want nothing more!
Nothing at all
Not a fistful of money and a palace to sleep in
Private jets and private islands
Where the air sings my name as I glide through her
And the sand on the beach wants me to lay beside her
I want nothing more
Than to be as beautiful as I am to you now
In my prime years of life, young, and eager hearted
Your visceral experience that taught me to dream
My dreams that spoke through the fog standing heavy in your soul
Your soul as a place my beauty alone reaches
I want
As simply said as the forgotten memories
The dead languages and foreign customs
The consumed today as garbage tomorrow
The son of the sun only rising knowing he will set
And be a glorious evening before all manner of darkness falls
I want only
That the beauty displayed by my face
In it's fresh form and grace
Is not
Could not
Would never be!
As beautiful to you
As my soul grown old
I want
That you will think me
As beautiful in my twilight
As I was
When I was young
That with each passing day
You love me more

I want

I was high before
And I could easily reach the stars
I was drunk before
And I enjoyed the poison
I was in love before
And my heart filled with desire
I was

But now I have a headache
That no medicine can cure
A hangover
And I'm too uncomfortable to sleep
A heartache

But my heart still beats

I was a child
I was a raving maniac
A raging lunatic
A prophet
Who saw god in all the symbols
And the symbols in everything
I made connections to the plants and the soil
The moon and the stars
To the times I read your mind
Knew the deeper meaning
Or just what was implied

I was a child
A selfless lover
A bitter fool
A dreamer
Who looked forward to every new day
I didn't know
I couldn't grow wings and learn to fly
I knew I could
My heart was pure
My love was innocent

My world was a vibrant dream
Full of wonder and opportunity
And color
And love
I didn't want to believe in pain
I couldn't
I was a child

My body becomes water looking at the world and knowing the greatest way forward is the path of least resistance

So I'm ready to become the light I always held in my soul while I was vacationing in darkness

And I could fight to fill a spot which is contested by many with little to offer, but who fight with a belief I could never have

It much easier for me to be the light that is swallowed by darkness and recycled as are bones and carbon

I find the place my shattered soul , bringing a prism and a rainbow fits in best is in the abyss

I was born to fill the void

I do not love you except I love you;
I know not another way
I love you as though I were made to
As though I was born to sing to you

My heart might pump your blood
You run through my veins
Share all my scars
And become my healing

The only choice I have was made before me
I can only follow in the footsteps you leave
And each day find my way closer to where you are

It never was a choice and could never be
The stars I love will have to shine in the past
And their dust becoming you to me is sacred

I do not love you except I love you;
As a mother is with child, being held by loving arms
The peace that only trust can bring
As though I was born to sing a song for you

It was an instruction
Struck forth
At the beginning of time
By the very force we'll never understand
The force that is the energy
Of our souls
It was direction given
Just in the patterns
Of the universe
Which repeat time and time again
When time does not exist
The beginning is the end
And it is the ultimate truth
We try to deny
Out of our fears
Or our lack of understanding
Out of the false belief
We were born to suffer

A simple truth.....

No matter who you are
Or what your looking for
Or how you feel
There is a place that you were meant to be

You weren't created for no reason
You were created for me
**And I
Was made for you

I take it all
And throw it all away
I could be the change
That never could save me
I was only hoping.....
I will run
Hammers in my hands
I will
Take it all and throw it all away
I was only hoping I could know what love is
Before the end of the world

Scars
I was hoping I could find the reason
For these scars

I was living
While I was alive
I knew I only have a short time

Hammers in my hands
A name
And scars
Scars above her eye
Her sacred name
Her holy scars
The way she sees me
I was only hoping

I was only hoping I could know how love feels
Before I felt the end

I was seven,
But it wasn't a toy passed through a gap in the fence by a hand
And a face unseen,
It was blood,
Blood pouring from my mouth and painting my shirt crimson
Staining the ground in puddles and rivers;
The terrified looks that the teachers wore
I was awake and alive and dying
They saw me dying,
And it must have been a dream because I couldn't feel pain,
But I still have the scars

I was seven when the child I knew was lost
But it wasn't growing up it was caving in and carving my pain in stone
As the buzzards circle
It was blood
My blood of disbelief that any god could let a curse as such exist
Painting my mind black only;
Fertile ground where the devil plays
I was cold and cruel and unfeeling
I was dying
For the very first time I was a man without a heartbeat,
But still with dreams

I was seven when the games I played could not be won
But it wasn't because the sky is never ending
It was confining limitations and clouds
It was blood
My blood boiling, my seething disposition, my nightmares
That taught me how to hate;
Emptiness being made full by poison
In my fingers and veins and my hurting heart
I was dying
Shouting obscenities to the heavens where no god was found
But still hoping he would hear

I was seven

I turn my face again away towards the strange
I turn into a wall
No masterpiece
Only a fear growing low in all the life I know
I hide my eyes from light and strangers gaze
I become the ghost once more
Spectral hands unable
Only a solemn letting go of all my hopes and dreams

I don't care what they say
What they say about me
I wasn't born for life
I will always be beat down

I turn my face towards the back edge of a room
I turn despondent
They will call me beautiful
But then why do I feel so ugly?
My skin is a poison and my breath is disease
I become a pit and razor wire
My own method of destruction
An infinite ending

I could not care what the voices say
About my choices made
I know well that its my fate
I will always be beat down

I am aware of the space I inhabit
As fully as it is aware of me
As much as I am only decoration
My sound becoming color
Unseen by eyes
I lose myself in the strings I hold
I hold with love
I sit alone in empty rooms
And still sing my song for you

I couldn't not make music
You know
And I know
You couldn't not hear it

I am confined by the space that keeps me
As fully as it traps me in
In a way it binds
My hands are tied
And I can't touch you
I lose myself in the dreams I hold
The stars I love
I float through the universe
And still sing songs for you

I couldn't not make music
The song in my heart
Speaks to your soul
You couldn't not hear it

I will see a different sky
Noon or night
I'm always searching for horizons
Always seeking

A blue that I don't know
Cloud of different shapes
I'm westward facing seeing sunsets
Always reaching

All that I gave is all I am
I gave it all
Everything
But the winds around me
The air is changing
Fading into light

Whither when I close my eyes
If I sleep or dream
Its yesterday
Tomorrow's suns are rising

I will see a different sky
Flowing from a fleeting feeling
Only my soul
Becoming real

All that I live is all that I give
My rivers and my mountains
Blood and scars
Be the skin around me changing
A name an endless smile
And a memory

I will see a different sky

I wish I had six fingers
I wish I had three hands
I wish I had two heads
One that had a beard
Just so my physical appearance would show
What kind of freak I am
I wish I didn't have a soul
So I could be unaffected by the world we know
And
Its sickness

I wouldn't teach you how to swim
I would
Show you how
To breathe underwater

I wouldn't teach you how to fly
I would
Show you how
You've always had wings

You've always been a dream
A dreamers delight
The rhythm of a drum
I a drummer

As a star at the center of a universe
You should know better
Than to believe the clouds
Can hide your light

I couldn't show you how to love
                           I would
                      Only be someone
                            You could

I would love you

You love me
By loving my words
These words that I write
Are a part of me
My love
My soul
Every better dream I hold
You love me
By reading my words
Your the reason I write
Your a part of me
My truth
My hope
Every light I'll ever show

Still my doubt
For every sunrise
A sunset
For every love found
A love lost
What if my words never reach you?
What if this sunset is the last
And the world sinks into darkness?
Eternal night without the song the moon sings

You love me
By loving my words
A physical extension of my soul
A part of me
My love for you
Every reason I have to be strong

And my fear
These words I write
Are never seen by your garden eyes
A pain I can't bear
If you don't read the words I write
I see no more reason to fight
And the kiss of my thoughts
Never reaches your mind

You love me
I'll write a summer for you
Even if you feel winter in your soul
I love you
And my words are all the proof
You'll ever need to see the truth

We are taught what to believe as children,
So maybe that's why,
People defend their religion,
With the same fervor they defend their economic system.

How can I
Repair
A shattered
Stained-glass window?

All I have are band aids
Trying to cure cancer

The strength
Of a thousand horses
And me
Who cannot whisper

just a midnight rider
Without a saddle

i could solve
This jig-saw puzzle soul

But I need time
*i never had

Hey Jim, You got that bottle of Jack?
Hit that jukebox
I'm trying to listen to some drinking music
What's your choice?
Muddy Waters or Howlin' Wolf
Some good old time blues
How's Patty been?
She's a doll
I don't know how she putsu up with you
Yeah Jim?
Half a handles gone
I guess I'm starting to feel alright
Should we get another bottle?
You know me Jim
I'm tryna drink all night

Still, Jim, listen to me
You need to get off that ****
You know its no good
It won't make you happy
Trust me I know
Jim, I just want you live a long life
Your my drinking buddy, Jim
Not just a good time friend
So pour out another shot
Nah, pour out two
**** it, hand me the bottle
And let me turn it up
You and me Jim
Getting drunk tonight

I found you
After the lights were turned off
After the campaign for Moorish dignity
Failed miserably
Spin Fortuna's wheel
And hope it lands in a beneficial spot

Your voice still speaks
As loudly as if you were next to me right now
After you died in a car
Breathing in the fumes of life completely undiluted
I listen to Jimmie Spheeris
As I recognize we are living in a confederacy of dunces

And no neon bible exist
Without you

Sometimes, the people
With the greatest ideals
Fail to live up to them

Because he was mean
And cruel
And by most accounts

A ****

But he knew that love
Was important enough
That he should learn how to do it

Joseph K
Who had done nothing
nothing he was aware of
Nothing really anything at all
His only crime
That of being human

Poor Joseph K
Unable to defend his position
His lot in life
Now stands on trial

Joseph K
Who was innocent
as innocent as a man can be
In a world where drudgery makes a man go mad
He was only trying to live his life
The only way he could

Poor Joseph K
Has been found guilty
By a judge with unknown authority
And his sentence ends his life

Poor Joseph K
Poor you and me

Today was a long day, like all the rest.  I woke up in a place that doesn't feel like home, and I'll fall asleep in a place much the same.  As always, I've had a few thoughts on my mind I couldn't find a way to abandon or leave behind.  Some new, and sure to be gone by tommorrow, others that have haunted me for quite some time
Thoughts such as these; I have potential, but lack ambition,Why? What really matters to me? What would have to change for me to want to be the best I can be? It can't be my own suffering. I've long suffered in myriad ways, personal, societal, spiritual, physical.  I hate it, but I don't even know where to begin to change it.  The thought won't leave me
I think about the money I owe, and the money I make, and the world I live in. My car is dependable now, after nearly two years, and three I have bought. A few minor repairs from when I got it, but it runs well, which is a pleasant change. And a load off my mind, but I still owe money on a car that has repairs that cost more than I owe on it.  I suppose I will sell it for scrap, get all the money I can out of it. That one car I wrecked on a suicidal impulse got me a grand, I could use another grand even if it cost me four thousand over the next three years.  Cars.....**** cars
**** that I need them to survive.
I think about my father, he is 65 and it has been a year since I have seen him, I miss him dearly, and I don't know how much more opportunity I will have to spend time with him.  I know I need to be with him as much as possible.  But I never am
I think about a girl, three girls actually, but one more than the other two. I'm sure if she read this she would know who she is.  All three are smart, and beautiful, one is funny, one is altruistic, one is the one that I think about the most, for almost no reason.  I think about a girl.  She is beautiful even if she doesn't know it. I love her even if I didn't show it. And I would trade away my pride for her happiness.  I would gladly die that she could live forever.  Sadly, it seems she will be gone before I or any man has a chance to save her
I think about the world, and how its ending. And how I want to change it, and how I can't change myself

And then Jesus kissed Judas Iscariot on the forehead

                   He knew he had been betrayed
                        But he loved him anyway

I have a life alright
I have my eyes to give me sight
I have my muscles all my might
I have the sunset and the night
I only want to be
To be me
But reality
Its a bitter game I play

They're jumping
From the golden gate bridge
And in my mind
So am I

How much can I really take?
Can I be good for goodness sake?
Or will San Andreas earthquakes
Make even Harlem shake?
I wanted to love
I want to talk with god above
Wings of a dove
Can't fly into my heart

Still they're jumping
From the golden gate bridge
And in my mind
So
Am
I

In June
Let the music be heard
A new truth spoken by muse
Through human tools
Infused by views
And sights that soothe the soul
I hear you now on computer
Blue-tooth and telephone
I see you in Sumerian texts
Cave-drawings and cuneiform
I see you not how it used to be
And if I lose
Its proof I'm free
Because I choose to die
If not for an opportunity to try
Its June

Its just a thought
Manifesting
I know it will go wrong
I know I will fail
I know
I know I'll make it happen
Unwillingly

It's just a thought
But hasn't everything we know
Everything we see
Everything we feel
Everything
Started out that way
As just a thought

Or maybe this time
Just a dream

Because what I want
What I fantasize about
What I want
What I need
Is only love
Love and understanding
Happiness

Its just a thought

It surely is difficult to fathom
How the mere act of reaching out to someone in need
Can save the whole world
Shining light on a soul
Shines light on us all
By saving someone else
You save yourself

I see
I laugh
Because the way to be
Is to be something that you aren't
Maybe
That's cool for everyone else
But I would rather be nothing
If I can't be myself

Flowers on a wall
My head is in the clouds
But my feet are on the ground
Sending down roots
So whatever storm
I can weather
Be it pain of loss
Or growth of ego

And I'm the greatest
The greatest
Nothing at all
I'm the greatest at being nothing at all

But as long as I can smile
As long as I can love
As long as I have hope
There's no valley low enough
To keep me from reaching a mountaintop
From taking my next step

And I want to see the stars
From the mountaintop
I want you to see the stars
While your by me side
Smiling and laughing
Just being

And I'm the greatest
The greatest
Or nothing at all
I'm the greatest at being nothing at all

And I'll be happy
If you are nothing with me
If you can just be
Just be with me

What are we holding onto,
Something ungolden,
And I take it I pray the day away,
We’ll never be saved,
We can never be saved,
Even if it’s broken,
Something to hold onto,
My fingers may bend or they may break,
We needed it now,
We need it somehow
                                     I can’t explain,

One for the rain,
Stumble on the rocks,
We’ll never reach the coast,
Not when these guiding lights were ghost,
And we needed it most,
stumble through the rain,
But things won’t ever be the same,

And what we are holding onto,
It’s too much pain,
And we’re praying you take the pain away,
And with love we may say,
Love save the day,
But there was too much hate,
Something to hold onto,
our lives forgiveness is gone to ghost that haunt you,
It was our strength,
That was our weakness
                                         and that's the way,

Two for the rain,
We stumble through the years,
We know which way to go,
And every step just leads us closer,
Our road lead us home,
Once we’re past the pain,
We find our truth again,
And things wont ever be the same,

Things wont ever be the same

Ruts in the road
And raging river rapids
And the mountain
So many, so much
Too great a love
Too much the doubt
Too big the obstacles
That I battle with the sky
Because of the clouds

Just to feel better
I let it all go
Only to find
I'm still holding on

Just to feel better I'm still holding on

The past is many days
Now the story is told
And lessons learned
So many, so much
Too great a power
Too bright a truth
Too much is in me
That I learn how to die
To cancel my scars

Just to feel better
I let it all go
Only to find
I'm still holding

Just to feel better I'm still holding on

You don't think I'm the greatest
Of now
Or ever
Than *******
And my arrogance will lead me to fortune
And I'll marry a *****
Who noone could really love

But I'll count myself as successful

(**** you kanye west
Even if you ****
In your own mind you are happy
And that's what hurts me the most)

Karen was just an apparition,
I'm glad that I'm alive,
I'm alive,
And holding to the memory,
I loved her once,
She loved me,
And always in the back of my mind,
I'm glad that I'm alive,
I'm alive

What if I saw you
And knew
This a butterfly new unfolding
Painted wings for the very first time
What if I saw you
And tried
To explain what cannot be understood
And all my words become wasted verse

Alight on the petal
Of a lotus
Drink deep the sweet nectar of life
And learn to love

What if I saw you
And felt
Something this beautiful
Can't be real
That something this beautiful
Must be sacred
Should be revered
Will be cherished

Alight in my garden
I'll look after you

When everything you touch
Turns to gold
It can become something you fear
Because you can't appreciate the good
Without the bad
Thank god in all his many forms

And I want gold
The same as old king midas
But I don't want gold
If it causes me pain

I'd feel like I knife is in my gut
Digging deeper
I'd feel like a knife is on my wrist
Because I only want to bleed
I'd feel like a knife has slit my throat
I'd feel like a knife has robbed me of life

If I ever fail you
These thoughts become me
And when I need to be strong
I am weak

And I let you down

I feel like a knife is in your back
And I'm twisting it

What do I know?
How do I know?
I've seen it all
I've heard it all

How can I know?
How can I see?  
I'm in your eyes
The love is there

Can I get it right?
Can I save a soul?
I guess I can't
Guess I can't

And really I can't let it go
Because I know it now
When its way too late
And really my whole life will be
What could've been
What should've been

How do I hear?
Why don't you say?
You've said it all
I've said it all

How do I feel?
Why when your gone?
I'm in your eyes
Someone else sees

Can i get it right?
Can i make a change?
I wasn't strong enough
I lost a chance

And really I can't let it go
Because I know it now
I see it clear
In my heart I'll always know
What could've been
What should've been

And I know it now
I know it know
I wish I knew it then
I knew it when
You could've been by my side

I am just a tear drop
In the storm
That wanted nothing more
Than to fall on her skin
And be felt

just a tear drop
Lost in all the rain
That the wind drives sideways

she could never know it was me

I am just a tear drop
In the storm
It rained all morning
It rained all afternoon
And night is coming soon

just a tear drop
That fell outside her door
Because she didn't want to feel the rain

**right now I'm getting lost in the ocean

love is just a way
Like a moment when the precious sky breathes
Heart remains true amongst the stars
Soul is simply written and blessed death
The sun is magical tears
Ink in a pen
These pages are music to hear

A smile shall say morning
Broken days and white wings
a dream an unreachable dove
A feather an endless flight
World in a kiss
A raindrop a lyrical tear

Her burning memories
She cries poetry

Lame
is giving a ****
What anybody else thinks

Truth is truth

I have no world
Only emptiness
I know how to pick up broken glass
And keep the scars for life
I enjoy dancing with fire
Because I always get burned

I don't expect it to get better
Just that I'll push it to the furthest point

I have no crystal ball
Only an image in my mind
Of a sad eyed lady
Dancing on souls
And I know she's going to dance
When we never had a chance

I expect I'll keep moving forward
There are cliffs and oceans in front of me

In know
I'm not strong enough
I'm not in control
I weild top much power
I weild without discipline

Power means not a thing
If you can't control it

I know
I have failed you
Bitter disappointment
Dreams of love wasted
Promises broken

Sometimes you have to lose
To learn how to win

I know
But you don't know I'm sorry
You wouldn't believe me
You don't want to
You can't

Sólo quiero que me perdones,
si no se puede perdonar a mí
entonces me olvide,
y si usted no me puede olvidar,
cualquier cosa, pero me odia.

Lo siento por mi pasado pintado, y mi necedad

translation:

I only want that you can forgive me
And if you can't forgive me,
That you can forget me,
And if you can't forget,
I want anything else,
Other that you hating me

I'm sorry for my painted past
And my needs

You're sort of like the days last cigarette
I know its killing me
its not something I need
But I'll enjoy it until its gone

I wish the letters I put on page
The letters making words
The words that explain my thoughts
I wish each letter was a sound
And each poem was a song
So you could hear it
And know my music
The melody is simple
The harmony
Lasts forever
The harmony lasts forever
You would listen
Again
Learn the words
Know the tune
You would listen
And sing along
The harmony
Lasts forever
The harmony lasts forever

What is my art?
Can I immerse myself in it
And forget the worries of the world
The troubling thoughts

Are you my art?
Can I love away my pain
And share all my heart
My whole world

She fell too far to the right
For me to be at my center
And hold her
Better than any arms ever could
I couldn't break at the red light
The only way to stop
Is like a star
Falling in a black hole
She fell too far to the left
So far my hands can't reach her
And all I feel
Is the pain
Of what should have been
Nothings really right
          What
        Is
Left?

Looking at every end
The sky as a broken jewel
Hanging jaws open
That I don't know
I know so well
Stranger in a prison cell
Floating on a drill
My eyes become black
Looking at every end

Left

Looking at all directions
The streets as a battlefield
The soldiers soul
The losing fight
I know so well
Blood becomes a strength to men
Justice is our god
And our beating hearts
Looking at all directions

Left

We lose life
To find
Humanity
We see wrongs and fight against
We stand together
For what we know is right
Its really all that is

Left

Someone
Somewhere
Is thinking good things about me
Somehow

I hope
I do
I hope
Its you

Someway
Something
Is reaching past this distance and time
Someone

I hope
I hope
I do
All I can say
I do
Hope that
Its you

Some dream
Coming true

My ear is burning

A lonely town full of losers
Cheaters, takers, and abusers
Junkies, flunkies, and the boozers
A lonely town where people are going nowhere

A lonely town down in the valley
Where the people and the roads are crumbling
The people and the buildings are vacant
A lonely town