All this time spent listening to false words
They demanded to be heard
Like useless lullabies
They used to tell me nothing but lies
Hear my cries
Watch me die
This is everything I despise
How can I go on
Hanging on for to long
You have not seen what I have seen with these eyes
I think it's time to finally cut ties
Say a final farewell and be done with these lies
I need to go to a place with newer skies
Away from all these goodbyes  
Now I must go away from here and find a new home
Somewhere I'll no longer feel alone
I need this now more than ever
Stop being a follower when it's time to be clever
Goodbye old me
Time to face reality
Stop living in the clouds
Time to voice my thoughts out loud
Be who I was meant to be
Who I'm supposed to be
Not who they want to be
But who I need to be in order to achieve
Everything

Don't you know her?
She is the one that makes you wait
Makes you contemplate
Everything you once believed
Even though you don't know her
She is all you will see
She'll reach in and grab your heart
Won't release it
Even when you need to part
Hold you tight within her grasp
Falling for her is something that happens fast
Never have spoken to her one word
Yet your love is what you need to be heard
She teases you with the possibility of forever
Makes you remember some ties can't be severed
The invisible rope she has around you
You won't ever be able to cut through
Forget your fear; Make her see what your love can mean
This one will haunt you whether you hide or choose to be seen

Girl so small why do you cower?
Hiding behind walls
Keeping yourself locked in that tower
Afraid of everything, afraid to live.
If you stay hidden when will this life ever begin
Past is something that left you broken
Weighed down with dark thoughts that remain unspoken
Sheltered within these stone walls
Hear the temptation but ignore the calls
Will you ever truly be if you don't take risks?
Think about all the opportunities you will miss
Yes the bottom is so far down
The climb will be worth it when your feet hit the ground
Negative souls will be against your escape
Others will be encouraged by one so brave
Stop feeling trapped when you have a way to be free
That window is small yet it still allows you to see
Climb down from your tower once in awhile and explore
Don't constantly stay hidden if you secretly yearn for more

I'm sorry for everything-
I've said,
I've done,
I've promised,
I've lied,
To you.
I'm sorry for telling you that,
I want,
I need,
I love,
You.
I'm sorry that i showed,
Too much affection,
Too much care,
Too much love,
Too much attention,
On you.
I'm sorry because you're always the answer to all these question:
Who i want?
Who i need?
Who i love?
* It always end with YOU. *

-J.D.P

Our opia
Was *****
On winter nights and
Beneath the summer sun
You looked at me
And fueled my addiction

Our love
Melancholy melody
Droned on
Through the seasons
A constant craving
Until finally I ran out of you

You left me
My addiction still raging full force
You left me
With no help through detox  
And that is why it killed me

I found you that day
Or was it the other way
Around
Round, you spun me in circles
I'm still dizzy from the
Fall
Fell hard, the impact shattered me
Disrupted my firm
Belief
Believed my heart was his
But I didnt actually hear the
Beat
Beating out of my chest when I saw you
How can I love him but I want
You
You're so confusing to my binded heart
I need you and for some reason I can't bare  to
Part
Depart from the tangled mess my heart got itself into to
I keep asking myself how do I
Choose?
Choice isn't mine really
See its also up to you to decide what you
Want
Wanting and needing are two different things
I want to fix him, but I need to fix you, the one who left me
Wrecked
Wreck my senses, not sure what to do
Need a second opinion fore I fear of making a
Mistake
Mistaken and Ending up with no one
Not you or him, just me
Alone

Take me
Take my body
Let me slip
Fall from his grasp
Hide me please
A place unknown
Don't let him near
All I want
Is for you to listen
Hear my silent pleas
Save me from the man
The man I loved
The man who shouldn't be
All I need is to be saved
So I can be free
So take me
Take my body

Darkness is what the young boy awakened to.

It surrounded him making his fear rise

He began to cry out for his mother.

Silence is the only answer he got.

'Where's mama?' The boy thought

He scrambled to get up from his makeshift bed.

On the floor in the kitchen of their Chicago apartment is where they slept.

Always slept in the kitchen because mama said the demons wouldn't get them in the kitchen.

The boy listened in the dark for any sounds to indicate where his mother might be.

Hearing a faucet running from the bathroom sink.

Finding his way out of the kitchen he got out into the hall to find the bathroom light was on.

As he got closer he could hear his mom mumbling. "Mama?" The boy started to open the cracked door wider.

"Stay away boy! Boy. My boy Alek. Away. Go away. Evil beings with daggers say go. Go away." His mother was shrieking again.

He didn't like when his mom got this way. It was happening more and more.

She use to take him out to the park. Out to get get food.

She hadn't taken the boy out in days. He'd been having to go out by himself.

Asking for food from one of the neighbors.

There were papers getting slid under the door daily that read eviction notice.

He kept bringing them to his mom but she kept tearing them up.

He was really scared this time as he gazed at his mama where she crouched in the corner of their small bathroom.

Both the bathtub faucet and the sink faucet were on full blast.

Her hands were over her ears as she muttered about things that the boy couldn't comprehend.

Feeling scared and uncertain the boy went back to the kitchen and got under the blankets.

Covering his head and ears. Trying to block out the sounds coming from the bathroom.

Eventually everything became silent.

The silence bothered the boy more than anything.

Shaking, he arose once again and made his way to the bathroom.

He could hear the water still running, but his mom had gone silent.

Fear settled around the boy like a old friend, making his trembling worse.

He knew something wasn't right.

Nothing ever was right.

But now he knew for certain that something bad had happend.

Dread hung heavy in the air as the boy stepped into the cramped bathroom, his feet wet with water.

That was the first thing the young boy saw. It was gushing out of the tub.

Out of the sink. Running out of the tiled bathroom floor to the hall.

He rushed over to the bathtub to try and turn the nozzle off like he had seen his mama do before.

His tiny hand slipped at first, not able to firmly grasp the nozzle.

Eventually he grasped it and turned it till the faucet gave one last gurgle and drip before finally shutting off.

Then he ran over to the sink where he saw his mom's shirt was stuffed into the drain.

Preventing the water from going down. He removed it before shutting off the sink.

His mama had done this before. She always said the dark man wants the water. He never knew what she meant.

Couldn't understand the dark man was in her mind.

That she was in desperate need of help.

But nobody around these parts got help when it came to mental illness. Not if you didn't have any family.

And the woman only had her young son.

Who was currently crying and screaming at what he had found.

His mom crouched over in the corner, not making a sound

Bloodied wrists. A razor blade lay near.

Sickening to think that maybe if someone cared she could've gotten help

But that was not the Fate of the woman who only had her son.

Instead she took an out, leaving the young boy with no one.