I am no more than my flesh and bones
I am just a body
Let the vultures feed on me
Leave me to decay

i really hope the butterflies
don’t turn into moths

you played me like a cello,
at first i thought the sweet symphonies were beautiful,
a melody just for us,
but then the bow cut deep into my spine,
and bled me dry
and you continued to play.
i still think of your music to this day.
my scars still are on display.
how come it still sounds beautiful to my ears?

I miss the burn on my throat
From the rope you wrapped around me
I miss the bruises on my wrist
from the way you grabbed me
I miss the gentle kiss
and the violence on your lips
I miss the bitter looks and hard touch
I missed loving you so much

i dipped my wings in ink,
and painted the sky with my trauma,
now everything is dark and i wonder,
will i ever see the sun again.

here i am,
writing poems full of love,
for someone who’s not reading.

If I stop breathing,
Will the weight on my chest lift,
Because God I need some relief.

Maybe the weight will crush my sternum,
And cave into my heart,
Maybe it already has.

Peace settles in my bones
The 5 am air kisses my skin
On a rooftop somewhere
Going nowhere
The town sleeps
And the only sign of life is the lights
Twinkling in the streets.
My arms disappear into the dark night sky
And wonder why I feel so alive
when all i want is to die.
Maybe one day I will take the fall
I hope the heavens catch me.

In amongst the debris of everything we created
And everything we destroyed
I know that I still love you
Even though your heart is still
And your body is cold
The memory of you will always keep me warm

The world is bare and colourless
The life has been drained from all of us
Now we are drunk on our soberness
As we run through old fields that are now battlegrounds

The morphine smiles aren't enough
Drunken promises hurt too much
So i'll pump ****** into my blood
These things hurt less than they should

I think I have been sad for so long,
That I don't know how to be anything else.

if i give you my heart,
please don’t squeeze too tight.
it’s still healing from the bruises,
the last one left behind.

I tore you apart,
and you are still offering me the pieces,
I ripped off.

i would give you the world,
but it is not mine to give,
and you don’t want it.

Please will you be my antidepressant
Numb my feelings
Keep the sadness at bay
Please will you stay

Please don't hurt me
I've been lost for so long
in a place with no sun
Please will you guide me home

Please don't go
When the flowers have wilted
And the summer grows cold
Please I need someone to hold

Please don't fall out of love with me

I tried to write a list of the things I wanted in life
and list of things I want to cut off with a knife.
I found you name on both of the lists,
As I continue to reminisce,
Your wrists that I kissed,
And the memories of you that persist,
And insists that I should just submit,
And let you in.

Maybe I should never have let you go.

Even when you were pouring poison down my throat,
I wanted to believe that it was medicine,
Because it was you.

Even when my back was broken,
I would’ve carried you,
Because it was you.

Even though there wasn’t space in my heart,
I harboured you inside my chest,
And loved you.

And when my body collapsed,
and my mind was lost,
you were nowhere to be seen.

were you ever there?

The scars on my body
Lay like a map to the memories of you
I scratch and tear at my skin
In attempt to get you out my flesh
But the scars run deep into my bones

Oh what a privilege,
to have known you.
I will carry a piece of you,
in my heart forever.

Sometimes I can feel you holding me,
When I wake and I'm warm,
But I roll over,
And the bed is empty,
And the sheets are choking me,
I claw and scream for any sign you were here,
But the bed is cold.
And so am I.

I should have known better than to put my trust into hands so ***** and then question how it became so tarnished

It's like there are razor blades in my throat,
Slicing up the words I want to say the most,
'I love you' I whisper,
But you were already gone.

You got me drowning in roses
But baby its okay,
I know you will kiss the wounds
That the thorns left behind.

It's funny how I thought you were helping me to breathe,
When all you were doing was choking me.
And now that I've set myself free,
You say you don't understand why I had to leave,
And paint me as the beast.
Well everyone can see through your deceit.
Was my body just yours to feast?
Were these always were your intentions?
Or was it somewhere across the lines,
When your love that used to shine,
Became redefined,
And intertwined,
With something,
More serpentine.

i am trying to get you out of my skin
by pouring you into these pages
but now the ink is in my blood
and i'm poisoned forever.

The war drum in my heart,
Reminds me of the battle I have to fight,
Thump, thump, thump,
Passing the poison around my body.

I know you can feel it too,
I can see the burns across your skin,
A sign of my sins,
From when you gave a touch too soft, too gentle,
And it burns even more on those who just take.

I cannot remember to sound of an unmarred heart,
Or when my touch didn't scorn,
My worn down heart has forgotten how to beat,
But its starting to beat for you.

I'm not sure what is worse,
Watching you leave,
And feeling my heart twists with each fading footstep,
Or knowing that I'll wake with all your sweetness next to me,
To delicious to not devour.

I never thought I'd live to see the day,
where I would smile a real smile,
and say I'm okay,
and mean it.
Yet here I am.

the idea of getting better scares me,
because i have lived with this pain for years,
who will i be without it?
is there a person even left saving?
or has the fire burnt me too much,
and now all is left is a corpse,
choking on the ashy embers left behind.

Reality has become kind of fragmented,
cracking and cutting my flesh,
leaving only darkness.
I don’t know how to get back,
I don’t even know if i want to

Although i lay in the gutter
I still look at the stars
Oh how beautiful they are
Burning into the sky
Bleeding light into the darkness
Pure destruction
Pure chaos

The ghost of you is choking me
But I don’t want you to leave
So I’ll let my lungs burn and heave
Please let me try and breathe for you

You whispered 'I love you' against my lips,
Your grip loosens on my hips,
And I can see you leaving,
And I'm left alone, lungs heaving,
Because I could never have enough of your touch,
The void you left is somehow too much,
I felt like I was flying with you,
And now I've crashed and I wish we never flew,
I'm not sure if I should thank you for the ride,
Or hate you because you ended it too soon.

And when i saw you again,
my blood ran cold,
and I haven’t felt warmth since.

I thought love was bruises and broken hearts
I was taught that pain was the point of it all
because if you aren't in pain
are you alive at all?

I thought i found a home in your heart
but it turns out it was only for rent
rent that i couldn't afford

Painted in suffering
Sculpted by regret
Our love was an art form
That we didn't appreciate

All love has an expiry date,
Maybe it's better you chucked it out before it rotted.

Will you meet me by the tree
where you fell in love with me?
Will you love me as if i haven't changed?
I know my heart is heavy, my bones are broken,
my eyes are sunken, and my soul is tired
but love me as if my light never went out.
Love me as if the fire you started in me hadn't burnt through my bones.

Will you meet me by the trees
and dance with me?
We will sway with the breeze
and hold each other gently
as i caress your cheek and whisper
"you are the most magnificent thing i have ever seen"
and the winds will sing a song for us.

Or will you you look at me
and see the body i am?
A distant memory of who i was,
a shell of who i could've been.
a ghost of what we could have been.

will you even come at all?

Will you still love me
When the seasons change and leaves decay
When my soul is tired and my bones heavy
When there’s nothing but numb minds and codeine hearts
Will you love me in a way I could never love myself ?

God! You look so beautiful.
I wish I was a painter,
so I could capture your beauty forever,
I tried to paint you in my mind,
mould your sculpture into my memory,
but you have become distorted,
bleeding,
screaming.
My dreams and nightmares fight over you,
my brain was always good at twisting things,
and now I don’t know what the reality is.

You make me feel like me,
You make me laugh,
You make me comfortable,
You make me safe,
You make me love,
and that is why you terrify me,
I thought this part of me was lost years ago.

You said my pain was so poetic,
And I was cutting myself to the bone,
Squeezing the blood on the pages so you could hear me,
Nothing about my suffering is poetic,
Screaming into my sheets and trying to claw memories out of my chest,
Burning myself and forcing me to remember things I’d rather forget,
Breaking down crying and begging to be laid to rest,
You called me a beautiful tragedy,
But I believe you can only have beauty,
Or tragedy,
And I am the latter.

I don't think there will be a day,
where I don't think about you.
But I hope one day,
it won't hurt so ******* much.

i keep trying to scratch you out of my skin,
i still don’t know how you got in?
you forced your way through
and left me with a litany of wounds.
please get out.
i can’t find a way of killing you
without killing me too.

I'm forever running from bullets
that have already hit me
so i run bleeding
my flesh tearing open
as the wounds that you left on my body
refuse to heal

It’s nice to know you’re still reading my poems,
even if you can’t look me in the face.

Funny that?
You wind up a dog,
And it bites.

I place my hand on my chest,
Because my heart was the last thing you touched,
Before you left.
I never want to lose the feel of your touch,
Trying to burn this feeling into my skin,
I let you win.
I know you took all the summers with you,
So I'll wrap myself in the bleak winters,
And wait for your return.

I never wanted to let you go

even though you are killing me
i need you to feel alive
i loved you in all our fights
and our passionate nights
but you traded my love for the drugs you adored

and my lungs ache without you
ill hold onto you as if ill never touch you again
held together so closely that we breathe as one
and when you leave my body aches from the loss of your grip
the loss of your lips
the loss of all of it