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Tegan 1d
Did you mean to steal my heart?
My freedom?
My happiness?
Was the urge to much?
The need to watch me misjudge,
What I thought was love.

You stole everything I had
and ran.
I haven't seen you since.
Tegan 1d
I don't think I expected it to hurt this much,
but god does this hurt.
I hope you don't hurt too.
Tegan 1d
You whispered 'I love you' against my lips,
Your grip loosens on my hips,
And I can see you leaving,
And I'm left alone, lungs heaving,
Because I could never have enough of your touch,
The void you left is somehow too much,
I felt like I was flying with you,
And now I've crashed and I wish we never flew,
I'm not sure if I should thank you for the ride,
Or hate you because you ended it too soon.
Tegan Jun 1
The war drum in my heart,
Reminds me of the battle I have to fight,
Thump, thump, thump,
Passing the poison around my body.

I know you can feel it too,
I can see the burns across your skin,
A sign of my sins,
From when you gave a touch too soft, too gentle,
And it burns even more on those who just take.

I cannot remember to sound of an unmarred heart,
Or when my touch didn't scorn,
My worn down heart has forgotten how to beat,
But its starting to beat for you.

I'm not sure what is worse,
Watching you leave,
And feeling my heart twists with each fading footstep,
Or knowing that I'll wake with all your sweetness next to me,
To delicious to not devour.
Tegan May 28
Sometimes I can feel you holding me,
When I wake and I'm warm,
But I roll over,
And the bed is empty,
And the sheets are choking me,
I claw and scream for any sign you were here,
But the bed is cold.
And so am I.
Tegan May 21
Hey.
It's been a while since I wrote to you.
I wonder if you are still listening.
I wonder if you ever were.
I miss you.
Sometimes I think I see you.
Or I hear you.
Like your ghost was visiting to remind me of you.
If it wasn't for the messages I would've doubted you were real.
But you were real.
You were here.
I loved you.
I love you.
But my love couldn't fly 3692 miles to see you.
Wipe your tears and hold you close.
And your ashes were whisked away by the sky.
You always did wish you could fly.
I think a part of me died with you.
I can feel the parts of me that have rotted.
But though my lungs heave and ache without you,
And my body is weighted with guilt,
I am happy.
I knew you.
I knew every part of you.
That was an honour I'll never get again.
I wonder what you'd be like now,
17 years old and finally free?
Maybe you'd be happy.
Happy with me.
Maybe.
This might be last one.
At some point I have to move on.
Sometimes it feels like I caught the bullet,
Of the gun you shot.
I think it's time I let it heal.
I hope things are good now.
I hope you are better.
I just wanted  to say I still think of you.
I always will.

Yours sincerely,
x
Tegan May 21
I tried to write a list of the things I wanted in life
and list of things I want to cut off with a knife.
I found you name on both of the lists,
As I continue to reminisce,
Your wrists that I kissed,
And the memories of you that persist,
And insists that I should just submit,
And let you in.

Maybe I should never have let you go.
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