i count the ups and the downs,
i match mine to yours
in sync we will always be.

you sat there staring at me
like you could never get enough
you squinted and twitched,
a smirk on your face.
i smiled, then you said
"i love you"
it spilled from your lips
like you've been eagerly
waiting to say it.

"i love you, too"
rolled right out of my mouth
without hesitation,
without any doubt.
we sighed at the same time
finally feeling at peace.

you're alone with your thoughts
in the middle of the night
while the whole city sleeps
everything feels strange;
missing.
lonely.

i got a Bukowski tattoo
because of you.

i'd lay in your bed
and stare at your book shelf.
you smoked a cigarette
and drank your wine
from a cup.
you both ******
for the same reasons.
i'd grab the book
sitting on your night stand,
reading to you.
it's like you knew
his story.

you left your soul
for us to find
you left your footprints
for us to follow
you left your love
for us to feel
we will never be the same
without you.

you took me by the hand,
you told me you loved me,
a toy castle appeared
out of nowhere,
you told me you
bought it for us to live in,
you pulled out a ring,
it was your grandmothers,
you asked me to marry you,
i said yes before you
could finish with
a question mark.
it was the best dream
i ever had.

i always have dreams
of losing my father.
i feel the most sympathy
when people lose their
dads in a movie.
not dogs or mothers or siblings.
fathers.
I am my daddy's girl.
he is everything i hope to
be one day.
he is everything i hope to
not be, either.
a girl cant be a girl
without
her dad.