Wake up today.
SMILE.
Enjoy peoples company, even if you don't want to,
Turn your music loud, annoy your neighbors,
Paint and be creative,
Cry if you want to,
be so still you can feel your heart beat,
Drink a milkshake with the people closest to your soul,
sing to strangers
and laugh so hard you forget your pain deep inside.

DO WHAt EVER MAKES YoU FEEL HAPY TODaY.
WhAt EVER IGNITES YOUR SOUL.
LIVE
LIFE IS A BLESSING BABY.

I sometimes think of death.
I wonder what would happen.
Would it end the pain and guilt, or be what I imagine?
But then I think again,
And think of what's to lose,
The things I wouldn't get to see the path I can't now choose.

Life at times can test you,
Make you doubt your worth,
Learn from each encounter,
especially those that hurt.

My dad doesn't understand visiting graves.
He says when you're dead you're dead.
That's when I realized death switched from a fear to a feeling.
He was always good at turning problems into cadavers
And painting on a fake smile with a chest cavity full of black matter.

I never did cry when my dog died
I put the constant in numb.
And sometimes I sit in that parking lot and I chain myself to my memories in protest
If you want to move past this you're gonna have to go through me.
I let the pavement swallow me whole
And think about what would've happened if she made it inside.

I want to tell you about when it was that I stopped sitting in doctors chairs and why my nightmares have teeth.
How I wish you would treat me like a tombstone
About how I want to be buried in the park across the street from my house.
How there is nothing beautiful 
about names that read like funerals.

I wonder why some houses keep lights on in every window
As if they're waiting for someone to come home.
That never will.
And if there is a light that never goes out
Why does the darkness come creeping back in every chance it gets?
And when are you coming home?

You are the only thing to remind me
that I can feel more than
just numb. An empty room with you
is ecstasy and I don't need much more than your skin to know
I need you with me.
Watch me as I strip
my soul down to its core
to see the mirroring light
emanating into you, glistening in the amber of your eyes. The sun
granted us love and you are my moon,
the branches in my palms,
the sky in my eyes.
You are there until my years depart, when the earth splits, when light becomes air
I want to be with you when all turns to dust and I will kiss you when the sun rises, when dawn becomes anew in my next life