how connected do you
really need to be
before you float
away
unsure for sure
but should that
dig deep in your stance?
answers unanswered
the unknown, unknown
mildly claustrophobic
from your own mind
fresh air
comes in segments
and only last a little bit
this is nonsense
but oh
it's all part of something

open your eyes
you won't travel while they're closed
or will you?
reality or not
is the current
predicament
is it even your decision?
crisp clumpy clouds
carry you away
but you might want to stand
on your own two feet
or you might need to
you deserve the reality you wish to see
all you need to do
is escape your own imagination
and find what you are imagining

when will the journey
of finding myself
end?
i still don't know what to do
when my heart feels heavy
it's like a rock i am unable
to lift
but there has to be a trick
right?
my thoughts make me dizzy and i can't see
but maybe if i slow down?
no, i don't know
i don't know

"shooting star!"
but i'm only looking
at you
"make a wish!"
but my only wish is you
wrapped in your arms
is the safest place on earth
i think
endless are the ways
you make my heart warm
endless are the days
i wish to spend with you
and it may be cliché
but you are my shooting star
and i love you

blurry
is my future
foggy
is my brain
but the way i see you
crystal clear

all alone
inside the
vast space
where is the
exit?
“we’re here to talk”
but i can’t even comprehend
my own mind
all alone

i lie myself down
in the many ways
i disappoint
but who is it?
i really disappoint.
deeper than the ocean
are the desires of my heart
but somehow i still can’t
decipher
the aching of my soul
“i’m fine”
i really am
communication
is vital
but rules never said
it’s clear

a distant dream
but vivid in my mind
long and winding
roads filled with purpose
but nothing to worry about
you by my side
your presence makes me
safe
a simpler life is ahead
the road is just ahead

is this
the beginning
of something new?
or the beginning
of something that
has always been
where are the plastered
paper labels when you
most need them?
or do we need them?
if everything had a price
then nothing would be worth it
so let's begin
it's about time

"you are safe now."
whispers the deep
blue sea
kaleidoscope shore in the distance
stars dot the bottom of the ocean
each cloud another island to stop at
and catch your breath
"you are loved now."
whispers the deep blue sea
a feeling you haven't known
for awhile, or ever like this
deeper than the deep blue sea

older times
spin in your mind
like a vinyl spins
the sweet crackle
replays in your mind
not quite the same now
sometimes
it takes an ending
to make you realize
the significance of what had
began

humanity
do you believe in it?
even plastered paper
smiles seem distant
what happened to the people who
feel
who know what it is like
to long for the day we are all free

humanity
seems so plastic
compared to the flesh
that it was before
artificial interactions
crowd the spaces in between
authentic seconds

humanity
where are you?
i know it’s in small
nooks and crannies
but aren’t we all human?

maybe i’m being
melodramatic
friendly to the feelers
but isn’t every poet

i know
i may not live up
to your
expectations
small
curious
open
kind of like a
book
but please don’t
bash me
with your words
because i am a step
on the staircase
you are still climbing
and at 70
you will smile back
at me
and remember
the innocent heart
you once shamed

i know
the waves of your mind
are racing
and you don't feel
like you can catch up
but,
the slits on your arms won’t
heal the slits in your heart
instead, look for the fragments
of constellations through seconds
so many connections
some of laughter
some of pain
most of love
you have a place in this
globe of beings
you just forgot for a second
so dive
like you dive into your mind
into the world in front of you

intuition
is your inclination
"don't burden them"
you have to hold out
your own hands
do not reach out
keep your flooding thoughts
behind the doors
for if you open them
they will drown
and you will be
alone

who made the rule
that unconditional love
is unaccepted
uncommon
unknown
some hearts beat
louder than others
so how is it fair to them?
too much
too little
too real

connectedness
is the aspiration of your being
adjacent hearts are the
only priority
but
the falsifier of your brain
makes you endure the weight
of forged disregard
"you aren't their world"
but you know it's a lie
for all humans are the same
connectedness
is their existence

"embrace the change"
but how do you embrace
the pain?
different is an alteration
i was not ready to face
offset emotions
offset mind
where are the things i know?
im bound to find out
that those things only exist
in the past
but for now
"embrace the change"
cause it can't all be bad

a loyal heart
is ripped
over and over
for most aren’t as loyal
but they always run back
to trust
like an addiction
they can’t undo
certitude is necessary
but rarely achieved

a loyal heart
is mended
over and over
just in time
to rebound the loyalty
it wishes for in
return

rain
falling
not too hard
not too fast
but with a steady beat
no thunder
no lightning
only the pitter patter
outside the window
it's safe
it cares
it is peace

stronger than any rock
braver than any bear
opinions are vital
or so you thought
you run fiercely
towards the challenge
reflecting towards you
is it a reflection?

bright bright
flowers
bright bright
vinyl
you laugh through life
like i walk through it
i admire the free will
you have created for yourself
never let it go
bright bright
mind

attached
are the strings
that hold your sound
like the strings
that hold your heart
the strings whisper,
"please stay"
but unfortunately
sometimes the knot slips
but you will be ok
because you learned how
to tie your heart
back together again

forest
jungle
wood
is that what your mind consists?
you are ready to discover
what it holds
and you'd prefer to do so in
solitude
isn't scary
isn't bad
just different
sometimes even good

one star
not sure where the others like you are
but you are one star worth gazing
you discover a galaxy
before the others
because you are closest
to what is real
and you pack for your journey
because you are going to visit
the universe

windows
each goal, pictured
through a window
which one will you climb through?
i know, but you can't enter
all at once
your brain is confident and pure
ready for any window that comes
your
way

you wear your heart
like you wear your sweater
proud, warm,
ripped
it still functions
just as before
maybe even better
a torn sweater
embraces the same

perfection is the key
to every door you
face
but what is the key
to the door inside
your mind?
is it perfection as well?
or something different
no one else can see
can understand
your key is your own
cherish it

one, you are the discipline of my mind
two, the reason i adore
three, you push me, sometimes too much
four, you show me my own reality
five, my dear introvert
six, not all of them leave
seven, take me with you up the mountain
eight, be braver than you want
nine, peace will come in the morning
or maybe in yourself

four strings
each with a
memory
a note
of something you will always
remember
a friend that will always stay
a friend that helps you
create
contribute
express
there's no way to thank it
but to keep strumming
and keep the strings alive
for they will keep you alive

thoughts
you try to throw them
away
into the sea
into the desert
into the abyss
but they stay
close to your mind
they love to stay
because they find comfort
in you
they make up your heart
though you may not feel
the same
maybe you need to learn
to feel comfort in them?

everyone has favorites
people
places
things
words
what are your favorites?
mine are the ones straight
from the
heart

im at war
with my mind
and i don't know
why

why am i fighting?
what is the

reason.

i feel
im trying to discover
something not yet
seen
is there something to discover?
there must be

is it empty?
or is there something
to that brain of mist

i need to know
show me how to know
who knows
how to know

what is the discovery?
is there one?

rosy red cut outs

is this the bearer of love?

it might be a vital *****

but even crucial comrades are broken

the vulnerable wear it on their sleeve

soft to feel

tender segments of you

beat through this plastered paper essence

its profession to adore

you may hold it, if you're careful

am i only human?

inquiring eyes stare

an emerald painted imagination

but who really knows what is inside

even i wonder what is inside

the figure of your mind

disagrees with your heart

thought bubbles dance in the mirror

as you try to let yourself in

blackbird singin' in the dead of night
but it's not the blackbird im thinking of
in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
but what if it's not my wings i am worried about?
all my life
i've wanted you to love me
the way i love you
but you didn't wait for that moment to arise

numb
trust me,
i know the feeling
but please
I beg of you
stay awake
just for a minute more
i want to hear your song again
i want to listen to the whispers of
your soul
keep your eyes open
stay awake please
for me

a globe of countries

spinning, spinning

you place your finger

where you want to go

"your turn!"

spinning, spinning

my country seems to be

nonexistent

i am an aloe plant

waiting for the sun

my leaves droop

for it is darker

than i'd prefer

but i stay alive

i still exsist

i know the time is coming

when the light will emerge

and i will grow stronger

and you will too

my heart, my people

all gathered close

the stage overflowing with sentiment

hands linked and raised

as we take our final bow

tears of passion race

my heart filled with nostalgia

for a moment that hasn't passed

my soul feels the warmth of companions

who have become kindred

my heart, my people

swirling
spinning
thoughts
will i ever escape my own head?

warm water
cascades down your body
covering your bones in it's blanket of feeling
your head
is a circle of thoughts
will i ever be enough?
the melody of the song you turned on
playing in the background of your mind
sometimes dizzy, sometimes relaxed
in a haze
inner tears
flooding flooding flooding
with memories
you rub your eyes to remove the water
and you enter a galaxy.

i know that i set myself ablaze for you
but i liked the warmth it brought

i liked the way it felt to love someone
with a burning passion that cannot be put out

but when you're burning alone
your soul starts to wither
and you no longer feel the warmth
only the pain

was the time you made me feel like your galaxy
real
or a fantasy

darkness
pillows soaked in hot tears
a knot in your stomach just when you thought it went away
confusion, pain, unwanted memories
but i guess c'est la vie

morning
dreams that seemed so real
nostalgia as shower water runs over your face
dreary eyes, lack of motivation, slow movements
but i guess c'est la vie

afternoon
staring into the distance
songs that ring of remembrance
fake smiles, brimming tears, heavy breathing
but i guess c'est la vie

glowing lights
a family of plants
a soft bed
a desk filled with art
a tapestry of mountains
a wall of polaroids
a map of all the places
i want to go
a window
that gives light
a peace
that can't be found
anywhere else

the air is crisp
it is time for the warmth to fade and the summer to end
because even though the good has gone
i know that it will come again
just like the warmth in the air
so for now,
i will embrace the change
just like i embrace the falling leaves
because though there is heartache in change
there is beauty
in letting things go
and there is peace in the wind
and it will wrap you up in it's crisp,
apple-smelling air
you will find your joy again
you will find your summer

life is anything but fair
you may be brave and you may be bold
but there is a point where you will be
b r o k e n
words of honey will be long gone
and you will be crushed harder than you ever imagined

but, there is healing,  i've heard
maybe it's not found in life changing events
maybe it's found in segments of joy
a segment of singing in the car
with the windows down can be
honey to your soul
and you won't only be driving on a road,
you will be on a road to healing
and words of honey
again.