I'm going to keep smiling
Even when I'm dying inside!

I stare at the blank page for long
Can't muster the courage to be strong
And write freely what my heart desires
But somehow turn towards the fleet of liars

Why! Why I ask, they tell me I'm not good enough
How! How am I supposed to learn to be tough
There is always this feeling nagging me in the back of my head
That I'm not even good enough to write for the dead

Then I turn towards those friendly species
My dog, my frog and my writing desks
I hear them encouraging me to write
And tell me it's so much better than to strive

I've decided I'm not going to listen to those fools
Neither their criticizing tone nor the conniving tools
And this is what a writer's dilemma is all about
To write from the heart and not listen to the world's bout

I can't love you
I have no love to give
Realize before
I break you further
I'm the abominable fear
I once had in my head
Please stop
Before I hurt you
Go away
No Don't
Stay
But stay away from me.

Come in my life
You need to come now
I need you now
Thats why

End my search
Make my day

Hold my hand in yours
I'll feel blue,
Touch me softly
I'll become stone,
Kiss me on the cheek
I'll cower away,
Call me sweetheart
I'll paralize.

In the hazy lines
When I saw your face
Imperfection adorned

In the silent nights
When I heard your voice
Imperfection endured

In the blinding lights
When I glimpsed your being
I fell for you.

Happiness
Where can I find you
Precious be mine
Be mine for eternity

Happiness
Where do you live
Darling come live with me

Happiness
Why do you hide
Stop hiding
Reside in me

Happiness
What am I to do
To attain You.

With the swirling leaves
Goes another hope of dreams
You wish to sound upbeat
But still there are things that haunt the dead
You ask yourself why me
Then get the answer as you look around the tree
Others with heart take a pity on you
As they see the condition your're into
Children with deprived needs
Can't get a two square meal
Do the ruthless people sense my heart's desire
Or am i just a piece of junk altogether
You ask yourself this every other day
But can't get a convincing reply nay
Do you want to be the poor helpless kid
Or do you want to make yourself renowned
Take a step forward and tell everyone what you are capable of
And after that never look back again
And never look back  again

Hey dear stranger
I'm sorry
I'm too harsh
You professed your love
I dissed you

Hey dear stranger
I'm too proud
I deemed you unworthy
It's my hamartia

Hey dear stranger
I hope you find her
Someone who's not me
Someone who adores you too

Don't hold my hand
Don't touch my neck
Don't brush your leg against mine

Kiss me on the forehead
Call me naive
Put your hand on my waist

Don't call me beautiful
Call me Smart

Don't say I'm yours
Say you're mine

He called her the setting sun of his day
The only one whose demure would lead to his demise.

Sometimes I dearly wish that you knew me
Sometimes I ache to be loved by you
There are times when I just want to be with you
And others when I wish all of these fantasies were true

All I desire these days
Is for you to acknowledge my presence
When I walk past you with hopeful eyes
All I want is you to look back

I like to stare at you
Don't ask me why
All I know is I'm infatuated towards you
But, alas, it’s not the same for you

I've heard loads of times before
Love is a big fat lie
It sure is true
Love is a curse neither for me nor you

I know one thing for sure
I'll get over you eventually
Eventually my heart will stop desiring
For the things that were never mine.

**** happened
Happened to both you and me
Me a bit less
Less than you
You're amazing
Amazing like my first
First shower of monsoon
Monsoon bringing hope
Hope of us
Us being infinite
Infinite.

You're so different than I.
I wish to be there, there in the lights
You care for the small things
Which others just tend to ignore
You know the feeling to be drowned in the ever flowing waters

I want to swim
In my puddle of distress
The problem remains I don't know how
Teach me to live life fully
Because you know I am a dull drab
I live the life of someone else
Whose not exactly me but a camouflage

I envy the free spirited humans
Who live as if it’s their last day
I wish I was like them
To know the feeling of being free
I am free to be exact
Not bound by a visible chain
But I'm bound by the invisible veil

You stand so tall
With your shoulders
Straight as wall
You seem undiminishable

Goodness those cheekbones
Or that sarcasm
Such a shiver
I get watching you

You're arrogant
You're haughty
You're the definition of Mr. Darcy
You're what I want

I want you
So I can wipe away
That horrendous smirk
Replace it with a smile

I want you
So I can call
Your *******
Whenever the need arise

I want you
So I can calm
Your ego
Your humongous ego
Down

I want you
So I can
Belong to you

I want you
Because you,
You wont be soft
You'll be you

I want you
To know
That I
Want You
And No One Else.

The feeling's liberating
Not looking for someone
With a hopeful gaze
Who's never going to love you back

I don't need
For you to love
Me, I'm great
I don't need a man
To be awesome.

I'm going to stand up straight
And walk alone
I'm going to dance tonight
On my own
I'm going to feel the night
Jovial and free
I'm not going to pin
On someone, rather
I'm going to be
Not hopeful
But happy
Not looking
For you

Mind numbing continues
Heart wrenching resumes
Content living ceases
It'll all end well,
"How?" they ask
It's a mystery.


Love perished
Throat parched
Hands empty
It'll all end well,
"How?" they ask,
It's a mystery.

Eyes were closed
Head held high
Took a deep breath
And put on a smile
*It did end well,
"How?" we ask,
It still remains a mystery.

As I thwated the ladybird aside, it never occurred to me that I just cost a beautiful creature its life. My motive in no way was to **** it, rather my irritation got the better of me and a thing more beautiful than I lay lifeless on the floor. For a moment I hoped it would get up and crawl up the marble staircase, alas my conscience had to accept the fate the ladybug got was on me and not nature. It was my need to feel powerful, being a superior organism with intellect none but my species acquired. What different does it make me from the ruthless murderers or serial killers. I murdered a creature of the nature whereas they just **** their own species. They do it for the power or maybe the lust for blood and I perhaps did it in vain.

I leaned next to the upside down ladybird whose beautiful red polka dotted body was obscured by the ground. I whispered a quite "I'm sorry". I don't think she heard me but at least I felt the remorse I should have.

They put me on a high pedestal
Took away away my mischief
There was no to begin with
They obliterated the chance

I first realised when I turned 14
Was writing last year's memoir
Had no adventure to illustrate
Had no idea of rebellion

I thought and contemplated
For a long long time
What the reason was
Turns out it was me
Me the *****
Me the image conscious
Me the people pleaser
Me the rational.

I envied the free spirited
I yearned their charisma
I wanted to be them
Rebellious and loud

Fair to say
It didn't work out
I was myself
And I'm content.

Repugnant talks
The vile gestures
Wrecking naivety
Plightful conditions

Hand on heart
Veiling from ache
Perfection reinvented

Sour mouth
Dark eyes
Cruel words
Throat wrenching

Teary eyed
Strong will.

The yellow sky
The blue sea
People on the beach
Wearing their hearts on their sleeves.
Orange flames
Green trees
Dancing with winds
On a moonlit street.
Mocha skin
Of the beauty she
Looks like a
Midsummer's dream.
Red horizon
Astounded she
Lays on back
Absorbing the energy.
Pink lips
Brazen feet
Talking hands
Aura of perfectivity.

Pack your bags
Go away to your dreamland
Don't come back
Don't look around
Start walking and never stop

Escape the sullen environment
Escape your distorted life
Go fly away to your dreamland
Don't come back
Don't look around
Start walking and never stop

Search for something more valuable
Search for something good
Don't walk with your of old pair of sneakers
Buy something new
Don't come back
Don't look around
Start walking and never stop.

With a swish of his hands
And a tussle with his life
Came the unnerving sound
Of his own demise

I'm infatuated
Towards the idea
Of you

I'm mesmerised
By your demeanour

Im starry eyed
Whenever you pass by

I'm breathless
When I think of you

I'm falling in love
With the image in my head
The image of perfection

I won't love you
Once I know
The real you

I'll find your flaws
I'll find you unworthy
I'll deem you 'Not The One'
I won't love you anymore

I wish I could
Fall in love
With you
And not
The idea
I wish I could


I wish I could preserve
This image in my head
Where you're breath taking
Where you're mine
Where you're perfect
Where you're alive.

It was perfect
Wasn't it
That moment
The moment of our lives

I craved and desired
For it to never it
To never end
Alas, it did

It was the view
I guess
The breathtaking
Scenery of our being
It was the serenity
Hailing our dreams

We sat there
Time didn't matter
It was as if
Time had stopped
To let us cherish
The moment

The point was
To stay in the Now
The glory of
The Spectacular Now.

Cogitate, Ponder, Contemplate
Think, Think, Think

Never stops
The mysterious Mind

Cease the procession sometime
Let me envision the Black Void
Let me lie in tranquility
And think of Nothing.

Let's not believe in anything
For a moment let's not think
In this instant let's quiet down
For a while lets just all be one

In the night
Of the stormy shade
Came the sound
Of my unnerving calm
The sound so loud
Yet none at all

Memory unscathed
Loosing the tide
Flows the thought
Vorfreude enticed
Calm the nerves
Crawling up the spine
Forgetting the world
Such a task indefinite.

"Love! What is love?" she asked
"They say its beautiful
They say its life
They say its the thread between divides.
But I don't get them
I never will
Its just an idea for me
An idea as beautiful as it gets"

He looked at her with admiration
Kept looking as there was nothing he could do
He sighed once or twice
To gain her attention
She just smiled at the ground
Lost in her thoughts about love.

He wanted to tell her what he thought
He wanted her to know what love meant to him
He refrained though
He'd tell her when the moment was right.

The moment came too soon
He stood shaking with fright
He convinced himself though
And stepped on the podium
To say his heart's might

"This for the girl" he started
"For the girl whose sceptical of love
I stand here today to tell you
What love really is!"

"Love is a feeling of oneness
Love is being cherished
Love is beauty,
Beauty in all its forms.
Love is the smiling face of an infant,
Dad's pat on the back,
Mum's peice of cake.
Love is hugging your person,
And feeling complete.
Love is your friends,
Who'd die rather than watch you hurt.
Love is amazing
Love is all around you
Don't give up on it
It won't ever give up on you"

Sometimes I wish so dearly
For all the things I didn't get
Sometimes I ache to be loved
From those whom love no one
Sometimes I think about the places
I want to go to when I'm old
Sometimes I wish to see
All the people I love so

I devote myself to things
I knew I'll never consider
I make myself strong
So I don't cry when I don't get what I want
What I want
Is something I'll never know
I wish to know my desires
But, alas, I don't.

We swayed with the wind
Tuning the world out
High on ecstasy
Not drugs but each other

We screamed our lungs out
We wanted to

We lay on the forest floor
Serenity encompassed us

You and I, dear Vanilla
You and I.

A jovial smile on your face
Leaves an everlasting pleasure on mine
Your dazzling eyes give me immense strength
And your beautiful dimples, a flavour of wine

Impossible is nothing
The lesson I learned from you
Your benevolent nature adds to it a little something
And the smoothness of your eternal truth

My life isn't much
But a puddle of rainwater
Sometimes a perpetual love such
Sometimes just a lake of endless miseries

You are the one
Who gave me the realization
Realization of what is true and wrong
Realization of what is right and false

This may sound a little extravagant
But you changed me to the core
You might not have liked it being gaudy
But remind I will every time, how you changed the course of my life