Hi, I'm Hannah
I'm a depressed optimist who likes to write
Confused?
Maybe, it'll make sense after I explain it
I have depression and often times I am sad
I get quiet, awkward, and guarded
But at the same time I am very optimistic
I always think that things will always get better
So I describe myself as a depressed optimist
I've never met anyone else like that
I don't believe there are too many people like me
And because of that I write
And I publish it to the world for anyone
Who needs someone like me
I may not make a big impact
But maybe I will inspire someone
Or make friends with someone
Anyone who needs someone who they can relate to
But who they can also go to while searching for optimism
So...Hi, I'm Hannah
And I'm a depressed optimist who likes to write

There are ways of coping with depression
Some people go with medicine
Others go with hobbies or distractions
Then there are the few that try things that might help, like candles or food
I go with the hobbies and distractions route
When I get sad, I will write a poem
When I get lonely, I will skype a friend
When I am frozen, I will listen to music
And I know sometimes I should accept the fact I get depressed
And I should go to a therapist and that I will always have this
But I would rather find personal tricks
To help cope with this
Than take medicine to make me happy
Nothing against people who do, thats your own opinion
I personally just want to have my own ways of coping
Whether it be music or friends or books
That works for me
That is my way of coping with depression

It's not the same.  Skyping and calling and texting will never be the same.  Actually being able to see her, is 10x better.  Because then we can go to the mall together.  Then I can hug her.  Then we get to celebrate holidays together.  Being together and being apart are completely different.   And if I could, I would have her here with me or I would be there.  I would choose to be with her in a heartbeat.  Because I love her.  Thats my best friend.  I don't want to lose her. If I did I don't know what I would do.  And when she's her or I'm there, everything is perfect.  It's just another summer and us spending every day together.  It's just another sleepover.  It's a normal weekend.  Then she's gone and I can't just text her and ask her to come over.  Because it's not the same.  Distance doesn't destroy friendships.  But it does hurt.  I can't hang out with her at lunch eating the ****** cafeteria food.  I can't just walk over to her house.  Because its never the same. I can't see her without weeks of planning in advance.  I can't go trick or treating with her, cause we're hundreds of miles apart.  I can't gossip about the people at school with her, because I don't know the people at her school.  I can't just hang out with her anymore.  Because it's not the same, and theres so many poems out there that will tell you everything will be the same you'll just find other ways of doing stuff like that.  It's completely different.  And skyping and texting are never the same as watching a movie together and talking by the pool.  Yes, that really helps.  But its not the same

It's starting to get cold again
Everything is starting to stay still
Everything is going to stay the same
But it can't get cold yet
Not yet anyway
I don't want to be sad for too long
I can't do this anymore
I want to be happy again!
Why can't I be happy again?
Summer, please come back
Maybe when you're here I'll smile again
Why won't you come back
I need to be happy before it snows
Stop snowing!
I don't want to be sad anymore!

The walls are getting rebuilt
I can see it bright and clear
I see it getting built
Every brick getting added
For every brick theres an emotion or person
Every time it's added, the more anxiety is added
The tears are starting to fall
I know I'm going to drown if I don't sop
please stop....please stop

I saw the way she looked at you
When you were talking to him
She was watched you
Not in the creapy way
More like she was admiring you
Admiring you in the most loving way possible
But you didn't even notice her
Because you were devoted to that conversation
When she was devoted to the way your lips moved when you spoke
The way your eyes stay focused on whom you spoke to
The way your arms swayed at your side
She noticed that
And she adored every single detail about you
Because you are everything she wants
And you are everything she could ever need
Because she loves you
She loves everything about you
You just didn't see it
Because it can only be seen by the eyes of others
While yours are blind to her affection for you

The devil would know your name better than I would
He learned it on the night you betrayed me
You ignored my screams of no
You ignored the tears streaming down my face
You betrayed me the day you hurt me
That was the same day he learned your name too
He knows what you did
And he's gonna punish you for it
He saw you offer me a drink and slip somethin' in it
Then drag me up the stairs to the bedroom on the right
At that moment he wrote your name on the list
Now he's waiting for you
Because he knows what you did to me that night
In the darkness you hurt me
And now I am forever scarred
Now he's waiting
To punish you for the deed you did
On the night you betrayed me