Love is being comfortable enough to sleep in their car while they drive you home. Love is not being afraid of silence between you and that person. Love isn't butterflies and sweaty palms. It's safety.You'll feel love. It might not come in the form of a lover. It could come in the form of a friend or a kind heart, but you will feel love. It will wrap its arms around you while you cry yourself to sleep. I will rub your hand under the table when you're nervous. It will be proud of you and everything you do. Love will kiss your heart with its words. It will dance with you while you trip over its feet. Love will let you borrow it's jacket because it's cold. Love with take you to its favorite spot. Love with kiss you with enough fire to ignite every forest in its wake. Love will not leave you uncertain. It will let you know how much you mean to it. Love will adore you.

If someone were to ask me where my favorite place to watch the stars was, I would say “in his eyes.” Not because there were no stars in the sky for me to see, but because his eyes outshine any star that could have been up there.
I have never been with someone who could make me feel so alive just by holding my hand. I have never held someone's hand so tightly before; as if I thought at any second he could be taken away from me, and of course he could have, but in that moment there was no way I was going to let that happen.
It was a stiff climb to admire artwork, and I could have admired a masterpiece on the ground. “dance with me?” The cement wall read. I would have danced with him until the sun came up.
There were so many ways he could make me feel free. Throwing rocks into the water with so much force; I was letting out aggression that came from me trying so hard to figure out what he wanted. He is so complex, and I never know where I stand.
We ran like children holding hands. I slid so comfortably into his front seat. That's when I knew. I knew then that he was what I wanted.
It wasn't perfect. He's not perfect in others eyes, but in  mine he is the definition, and I have accepted he has flaws, but those are what help make up him.
When he kissed me it was like standing in my favorite spot on the beach during the summer time. When he kissed me it was like hanging my feet out the window listening to music loudly in the car. When he kissed me it was like happiness.
I fell in love the way waves crash against the shore. It was fast and terrifying, but it was also natural; it was meant to happen.

I like the look in your eyes after we kiss
The feeling of goosebumps on your skin when I graze your chest kills me
I like to know I can't do that to you
I like to know I can make you feel alive in ways other people can't
Heavy breathing as you eagerly devour my lips
Finger prints on my back because you hold onto me so tightly
For fear I'm going to be taken from you
But nobody can make my body quiver like you can
I am entirely yours
Your lips draw pictures on my skin
Turning me into your masterpiece
And you sign your name
I love you

Now when I say your name it feels like fire on my tongue
The lips that you once kissed tremble with sadness
I am haunted by the memories I can't seem to forget
I am burdened with the hope you keep instilling in me whenever you look my way
I am crazy to think you regret the chance you did not take
But once in awhile I see the sorrow I am feeling reflected in your brown green eyes
My hands are cold because they grew use to you holding them whenever you had the chance
My mind is full of all the things I could say out loud to you
But now that you are gone they sit there and torture me with their complexity
I cry when I see a sky without stars because I no longer have you to help me make something just as beautiful as the ***** of gas that usually litter the sky
Help me to understand why I was not worth the risk?
Please let me comprehend why I was not something you wanted to discover.
You take so many chances
Jump into so many situations
But I was the one you had to pass up on
And now I have to lay in my cold bed and wonder what I could have offered that would have made you want me
What more could I have given to get you try to be with me?
You were a fleeting moment
And I know that I will never get to relive you
But **** if I don't try to.

last night i found out
there is no such thing
as running out of tears
laying in bed
i realized
i won't get over you
this feeling won't end
it may die down
i might stop crying every night before i go to sleep
but there will always be a stab in my chest when i see you
i will always lose my appetite when i think of you
and my dreams of you
will always leave me in agony
when i wake up
~Tatieonna Destiny

I liked us so much more when we are not worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow
I like the way it felt when you held my hand
My head against your chest
Hearing the sound of your beautiful heart beating
I have never felt so safe
Until you held me so tightly in your arms
I don't know what to do
God ****** I don't know what to say
I wish that you would follow your heart
and leave your mind in the dark
Because your mind will hold you back from something you need to experience
Honey you are so afraid
And sometimes fear is a good thing
But sometimes fear can hold you back from a good thing
I think us would be a good thing
You and I could be a great thing
But you have to let it be a great thing
I am so ready
But you are still not ready to let go
And try
I will wait
Because there is no one I would rather be with in this moment
No one I would rather have kiss my lips
It's only you
Right now it's only going to be you

the first time i prayed i was 4
i asked god to not let father hurt mother
but the next morning i walked into the kitchen
greeted by pancakes
and my mother with a black eye
i remember how mad i was
at father
for hurting my mother
at mother
for staying there
at myself
for not helping when i heard the yelling at 3 am
and at god himself for not protecting my mother
my precious mother

mother took me to church every sunday
and at 5 years old the pastor dunked me in a pool full of water
he said he was washing away my sins
and i remembered how hard i cried
when i lied to my mother the next day about putting away my toys
because now all the sin was back
and i was scared i would never get a chance to wash it away again
but the truth is it never left

at 6 years old my father took me to church on sunday
instead of my mother
he said she didn't feel good
i watched as my father walked to the front of the church
when everyone began to leave to go home
and he began to scream
and cry
and pound his fists on the aulter
then he walked back to me when he had finished
taking my hand and bringing me home
my mother was awake when we returned
and she greeted me
with a hug
trying her best to cover up the bruise on her left cheek with make-up

when i was 7 years old i was startled awake by the sound of yelling coming from the kitchen
i had decided that this was it
i needed to do something
so i got out of bed
and walked into the kitchen to confront my father
when i walked into the kitchen
i raised myself to be as tall as i could manage
but i didn't even get to speak
before i felt his hand across my cheek

at 8 years old i sat in my room
father was gone
but there were still men in the house
because my mother had to find love somewhere
i just wasn't enough

when i was 10 years old
my mother introduced me to a man
and that was strange
because she had never introduced me to one of her men before
they are married now
but i could never love him

when i was 11 my mother dropped me off at school
and i was sat in front of a boy with brown floppy hair
he tugged on the end of my pony tail
and i turned around and hit his hand
the teacher sat me at a table by myself
and i began to pray
that was the day i was told it was not appropriate to pray in school

i was 13
and the boy who use to tug my ponytail
now sends me love letters
that i kept in a box under my bed
i did not want anyone to see them
not even my mother
because they were mine
and i prayed to god to let me keep the boy
who signed every card with an x

but when i was 14
the boy fell in love with the girl with the long blonde hair
and the pretty blue eyes
and i decided that god doesn't listen to me
so i decided i would no longer pray

at 15 the boy and i began talking again
but it would never be the same
because he always had his ******* his arm
and the boy and i watch the stars
and talk about the things we love
and she is always on his list
and he shows me his writing
he writes about her a lot
he tells me his dreams
and she is always a part of them

i am 16 years old
and i am in love with the boy who pulled my hair
and wrote me love letters
and fell for another girl
but now
looks at me when he speaks his poems
because his girl is too busy to show
and holds my hand when he is shaky afterwards
which is something she will never know

and i told myself i wouldn't do this
i told myself i wouldn't pray
but now i just can't seem to help it
i need you more than ever
and every night
before to sleep
i pray for you
to fall in love with me.

little girl
why do you look so sad?
you have a home
a mom
a dad
little girl all by herself
curses the world
and everyone else
little girl
why do you cry?
did he tell you he loved you then say goodbye?
little girl
fell for his games.
pretty girl
what a shame
little girl
she no longer reads
because the endings always break her heart
little girl
caught up in another world
little girl
why do you scream in your head?
her nightmares terrorize her in bed.
little girl
has stopped sleeping
precious girl
has stopped eating
darling girl
please don't break completely
lovely girl
don't stop breathing
your life is more precious than you think
little girl
watches her blood flow down the sink
little girl
please hold on
little girl
please stay strong
little girl
with an ancient soul
little girl
please grow old
little girl
it will be alright
little girl
sleep well tonight
tomorrow is another day
she knows it will be filled with pain
for a new start
you cannot fix a broken heart
little girl
turns out the light
little girl
slept forever last night.

if you were to love me
i would love you more
because you are the only goodness in this ****** up world
your are the only light in this fog i struggle to see through everyday
you are the reason i wake up in the morning
and the reason i don't sleep at night
you are in my dreams
and nightmares
you are the air i breath
and i breath the best air
while everyone else breaths in disease and pollution
i breath life
you are apart of me
an *****
better yet, my brain
without you i can not function properly
no, my heart
because without you i can not function at all
if you were to love me
i would love you more

I mean, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that everything is ok now, that I am doing much better? Should I lie to spare your feelings? I feel the same way I have felt since the day you left, and I am starting to think that this feeling is never going to go away. This feeling of desertion and loneliness. I can crawl into the bed of a thousand men, and still feel as if I am caving in on myself because I’m so hollow on the inside. I don't want to feel this way. I mean nobody should want to feel this way, but I can't just scream at the top of my lungs for this intense aching to go away. Trust me, I have tried. I can't just lie in my room and cry away this wound that is in my heart, believe me when I tell you it doesn't work. I guess I could walk past you, and give you a smile, and I guess I could sit by you and laugh, just to make you feel ok. I am always trying to find a way to make you feel ok.

going a little to fast
him and I
side by side
blew down the road
on our way to an unwanted destination
where we would have to go our separate ways
I looked at him beside me
and almost started to cry
knowing that this could possibly be the last time in a long time
him and I will ride together in his most beloved car
I am so grateful for his car
because his car is the space that kept us safe and together on our short lived journey
I like how the world passes by when I look out his window
and **** I liked the way I caught him caught him looking at me
when I turned to sneak a glance at him
radio blaring
and hearts thumping almost louder
we screamed the words to a love song
you are my own love song
excitement filled my stomach when he drove into a puddle
that came from a beautiful rain
I hope someday I have a car as special as his
and I will take my friends
and we will go on crazy adventures
I HOPE SOMEONE FALLS IN LOVE THE WAY THAT I DID IN THAT CAR
I hope he falls in love with a girl who sits beside him in that car
and as we pulled into the end
as he walked me to my door
I let one tear slip
but the night covered it
he held me in his arms
and whispered in my ear
I realized how special this was
and I knew I would never let it go
**** if I would ever let it go

its not that i don't want to fall in love
because there are times when i do
i just do not like the idea of getting so attached to something
and then it actually hurt when they are taken away
i don't like the idea that my heart could be broken
by someone i trusted enough to let into it
i don't want to cry myself to sleep one night
because i go to close to someone
and in the end they not feel the same
i want to feel all the pleasures of love
all the feelings that come with that storm
but the aftermath is what scares me
and that is why i keep my distance
the ruins of what was one us
diminished by false hope
and i will run
and i will run
and i will run
until im far way from the love that is being given to me
i will blind myself so i can not see him standing in front of me
ready to love me
because what if it doesn't work
what if ii get hurt
or worse
what is he does
i am a guarded being
and it seems no matter how high you climb
and how hard you push
my walls are to hard to get around
and i don't want him to feel bad because i did not let him in
i will let no one in

We are the generation that loves the idea of love, but hates to be in the position where you have to care. In this generation we cause ourselves pain and then destroy our liver to get rid of it. A woman walking down the street at night alone is a rare sight because they are seen as objects to be fondled with instead of loved. Same *** marriage is legal yet people still get sick at the sight of a man kissing a man on the street; yet when a man kisses a girl in public people awe at them. We will watch the world pass us by , and say I will try to catch up to it tomorrow. In this generation we smoke too much, and drink until our insides burn. We don't like the world the way it is, but we will do nothing to change it because we feel as though we can't make a difference. We feel like we can talk, and scream, and plan, and try as much as we want, but who is going to listen to us? This generation has lost hope in itself. We have lost sight of what we can achieve because we have been blinded by being told for so long that we can't. We are the generation of lost souls.