Tatiana

Tatiana Mar 2021

I am a temporary tattoo on the skin of our earth,
ink washed away with soap and warm water,
a joy, an indulgence, but not a need.
I am not a need

I am one word written on an etch'n'sketch
and silent again when I'm shaken.
It was simply a "Hello," unwanted.
I am not wanted.

I am a smiley face drawn in condensation
on glass car windows as my mother drives me home.
It fogs up again, erasing my grin,
I am erased.

©Tatiana
Just feeling temporary today

#temporary

Tatiana Feb 2021

Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board

She looks unwell.

Bruises under her eyes
purple with no sleep.
I doubt she rests now.

She is getting worse.

You see her eyes moving
beneath their lids.
The panic settles in.

She is dying.

She shouldn't have gone on
that walk in the rain.
It was cold, so cold.

She is cold.

And pale like light
from a waning moon;
a crescent frown.

She is dead.

No breath stirs her chest.
Place your hands beneath
her stiffening body.

Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
Light as a feather
Stiff as a board

Lift on the count of three
So her spirit will be free.

©Tatiana

remember that game you used to play as children? Yeah, *** was that about?

#childhood #games

Tatiana Feb 2021

Stress Fracture

In this hou  se I sit
on a chair t  hat has
yet to be m  oved
it takes tim  e to pack
up furnitur  e that
decorated a  home
I trace my f  ingers on
a groove in  the wood
grain of the  kitchen table
a mistake f  rom when
you cut app  les without
a cutting bo  ard for you
were runni  ng late to
work and d  idn't have
time to take   care but
it was okay   what was
one mark on   a wooden
table anyway  ? I was not
angry about i  t perhaps
I should've be  en since
you feel like I  don't feel
anything then  maybe
you wouldn't   be moving
out of my hea  rt without me

©Tatiana

A little while back (can't remember how long ago actually) I was doing a whole bunch of poems with different breaks in them to mimic different bone fractures. This is one that I hadn't been able to post because I just couldn't get a grasp on what I was trying to say. Still not sure if I've communicated anything but hey, it's in my drafts and I'm tired of it sitting there. Soooo what do you all think?

#stress #fracture

Tatiana Dec 2020

Hollow Heart

...................................................
   my heart            is filled
with           th    e               thrill
of                   fin                ding
my                                     place
that I                               don't
  even                            notice
     the ma                 sk they
          painted    on my
                      face
...................................................

©Tatiana

#hollow #heart

Tatiana Dec 2020

Draft 3/?

I've dissected hearts of sheep
who bleat about what they eat
and how they're incomplete
they need to meet
that other sheep who'll complete them
And yet I'm no closer to understanding
these grand feelings, these demanding
blood-pumping vessels that are deemed romantic
have you ever dissected one?
Not to be pedantic but they aren't filled
with love.
Perhaps that's why I don't get it
I'm dissecting hearts when I should be
picking at brains, watching the sparks
that I hear people talk about
take place
But I don't feel sparks
am I supposed to?
If I cut open my head and **** around
I'll find what's wrong and cut it out
and I'll feel just like everyone else
won't I?
I don't think I will
Because I've dissected many hearts
and each one is different
in size, in shape
in care, in weight
so why wouldn't our brains be any different?
So I do not feel the spark that other's do
I do not feel the pull that other's do
and as long as I'm living with it
and I accept it
I don't feel broken or alone
I don't feel like it is something to fix
because my heart isn't broken
nor is my brain
I just don't want to *******
my guy
or anybody tbh
get over it

©Tatiana
I hope we're seeing why many of these are drafts and not fully-realized poems

Uh main idea was me trying to understand why I don't want to have *** with people. Yeah I'm on the asexual spectrum, still figuring it out though.

#drafts

Tatiana Dec 2020

Draft 2/?

I hold my bible in my right hand
because I'm a God-fearing man and
Christianity has always been in style.
I like white because it's the color of surrender
red for my blood I'll never spill
and blue for the sky that I will rule.
Wear my brands like a badge of honor
and follow my lead
for I am the prophet of style
I profit off of stolen style
I'm the prophet of style
they should put my face on the dollar
for how much I profit off
"In God We Trust."

(but only trust me)

©Tatiana

The idea in this draft was to talk about people who abuse their authority position in religion for a power trip. Also about people who pretend to be religious so that they may receive the support of those who truly are religious. An act all for a power. I chose Christianity because it's the religion that I grew up with and was witnessing events that lead me to these conclusions.
Obviously, not all Christians fall into this specific brand of person. I do not intend for this to come off this way. I'm talking about specific people (a minority) who have the power to influence a large amount of people and are abusing it.
This is a very touchy subject which is why it had stayed as a draft until now.

#drafts