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Tark Wain Jul 2016
Home for the Holidays
Isn't it sweet
Home for the Holidays
Nightmare memories played on repeat

Home for the Holidays
The fighting never ended
Hate out in the open
It was better when we pretended

Home for the Holidays
Still nothing's changed
Home for the Holidays
You all continue to act deranged

Home for the Holidays
I'm still the one in the middle
Home for the Holidays
The never solved riddle
Tark Wain Jun 2016
The father knew it as soon
as his son walked in
it was his first broken heart
and it had been torn thin

so the father followed after
stomping feet and slamming doors
this was the big one the one
that shakes young men to their cores

The father entered
and dropped to his knees
it's time I tell you son
about the birds and the bees

Heart break like this is normal
but a love like yours was pure
even though you will have many
of this one's meaning I know you're sure

love, real love, is everything
it is a cataclysmic spastic
smattering of everything you held true
suffocating as if you were asthmatic

It's not that love is hard
it shouldn't be
in fact that's how I knew
your mother was the one for me

but somethings aren't meant to be
so when it came time for the power's that be
that took her away from me
the falsehood of love was clear to me

love as if you'll die tomorrow
because you might as well should
because a life without love is silly
stupid, and no good
Tark Wain Jun 2016
The Past
is just that
Past
Move on
Tark Wain Jun 2016
26



There's only 26


I can't wrap my head around it
You're telling me
all I need is 26


That's insane
Absurd

26 letters
laid out in some combination
could lead you back to me

26
Really?
It's that simple?

How many combinations
and therefore how many realities
exist



How many times do I get it right?
How many times do I dot my I's
and cross my T's
enough to lead you back to me

What was this supposed to be
and overused drawn out symphony
write

write until you have an epiphany

26 that's all I need
to let you know what you meant to me
to finally
lead you back to me

26

This must be a lie
I can count that on five hands
provided an extra finger

let that thought linger

26
it can't be
provided our history
the right answer alludes me
it remains a mystery


26




that's all it will take
but I can't let myself make the same mistake
it's time I nix
the search for those elusive



26
Tark Wain Jun 2016
You Used to Love Me
Shouldn't that mean something
How can you look at me like I'm nothing
Like I'm a leftover
of a meal you never ordered
like I'm the fifth leaf
of your four leafed clover
The one you wish you could forget

You Used to Love Me
I know you did
You told me
I was the peanut butter
you were the jelly
you would lay on my belly
and tell me anything you wanted
because I was everything you wanted

You Used to Love Me
so why do I find it so hard to talk to you
I used to tell you everything
now I doubt I could tell you the time of day
you look through me
not at me
What am I to you now?
A walking memory?

You Used to Love Me
Sometimes I think
This is going to be hard for me to say
but
Sometimes I think the past is as fabricated
as our predicted futures
We can rewrite narratives as we see fit
to fit the story as it unfolds

You Used to Love Me
I say it over and over again
constantly unsure if I am lying to myself
maybe each lie
is another knot in the bow
I use to wrap up our time together
You Used to Love Me

I think
Tark Wain Jun 2016
Maybe I don't have a One

This isn't meant to be depressing
although I agree it may come off that way
I just want to be realistic

Maybe I don't have a One

People die for no reason all the time
I don't mean to be somber
these are just facts
do think they had all fallen in love?
do you think their lives were fulfilled?

Maybe I don't have a One

We're force-fed fairytales
peddled parables of Princes and Princesses
love is just a product
no different than chocolate
or straight to DVD CDs of Dumb and Dumber
Not everybody has a bicycle

Maybe I don't have a One

Don't get me wrong
I'm as hopeless a romantic as the next guy
I'm sure people do find love
and a couple consists of two people
so they very well may make up the majority
but as obvious as it may sound to say
50 is not 100
some is not all
and everybody might not have a somebody

Maybe I don't have a One

This wasn't meant to be sad
I just feel like we're all fed a certain narrative
that may or may not be true
which is fine
I just don't think it's crazy
to admit that
perhaps
possibly

Maybe I don't have a One
Tark Wain Jun 2016
I am not me
I am a tapestry of the things I've seen
I am a poorly rendered image
of the reflection of my past

I am everyone I've ever met
rolled into a pie crust
beaten into bread crumbs
and ground into a saw dust

I am not me
I'm a victim of society
a bystander to my own reality
I look in the mirror and nothing I see

What does it mean to exist?
is it to only ask that question?
perhaps to ponder ones existence
is proof enough of existence
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