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 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Emma Pickwick
It's all in your head.

That's what he said to me.
When I couldn't drink another sip of coffee,
Or sit still for another moment
Because my heart was racing so fast,
And everyone was staring at me.
Oh my god, my makeup is rubbing off.
I look so hideous.
I don't want to talk anymore,
I think I'm going to be sick.

It's all in your head.

How could it be in my head?
I'm not even a real person.
Who am I?
I feel like I died so long ago,
I think.
I feel like I'm looking through someone else's eyes,
Just a ghost, occupying a body that isn't mine.
My feet don't feel attached to me,
I NEED TO GO HOME.


It's all in your head.

Is it?
Is it all in my head, so congested yet still racing, trying to escape all these thoughts?
Is it all in my heart, beating like an angry man's drum?
Is it all in my lungs, gasping for breath?

It's all in my head.

It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.
That's what he said to me.
a poem inspired by my anxiety, leading up to depersonalization.
 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Jo Hummel
I see you;
In the horses slowly trotting, riding along at the commands of their masters;
In the leaves clinging desperately to the vulnerable trees, left to the fate of the unrelenting breeze;
In the clouds drifting by, their shapes reforming at the will of the wind;
In the flowers wilting in the sun, screaming at their roots to find some source of water in this drought.

You go at the leisure of the ones who saddle your back,
and hold onto those hurt people, who angrily batter at your cowering form.
You mold yourself to others' preferences,
and are crushed by your god, looking for some hope he may have left you in this seemingly eternal despair.

I see you in my reflection, seeking some sort of break from an already fractured world.
You are broken and the world around you bent,
but there are ways to fix everything,
and I am studying to be a Mender.
To my best friend:
My wolf and my dragon;
My Taintedsoul;
My 'okay.'
 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Joshua Haines
I’m not an art critic
So what I say may not matter
But I’ve seen it all
From oil to paint splatter
And I’m not a book critic
So others may argue
But there are no words I’ve found
That justify you
 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Joshua Haines
I know that you are lonely and I think we need to walk.
I keep wasting words about the weather and other small talk.
You gotta promise to keep pulsing just like the April rain.
Your lips are just flesh but they sure cover all the pain.

I walk beside you because you are my best friend.
We can walk through the park, hand in hand.
I'll keep you safe no matter where, until we reach our end.
I promise to love you past the trees,
but there's one thing I don't understand.

I can't see the harm in loving,
despite all that comes.
There were those that left before me,
but I'm not that one.

Your leaving is death,
but I still keep you alive.  
I wait for you, Kori,
and that's how I survive.

They say you never get over it, you just learn to tolerate.
I let cups of coffee stain my lips to remove your taste.  
I don't wanna think less of you; you can't be someone I hate.
I don't want you to disappear or for my love to go to waste.

I could die from anticipation just to **** the wait.
Until I see you again, my dreams will create
a way to visit you in my own personal paradise.
What it would be to hold you again as you shiver from the ice.

I'm not sure if anyone could love you more than I.
But I welcome them to do, or at least to try.
I want you to be loved. I want you to be happy.
I want you to be loved with or without me.

I want you to be loved.
I want you to be loved.
I want you to be loved
with or without me.
I have hungered to be filled,
satiated down to the very fiber of
my being.

Am I crazy to crave food with such
carnal intensity?  Expecting chocolate
sugary goodness to satisfy the soul's
hunger underneath my physical craving.

But not everything has to be about God,
does it?  Sometimes, I just want to savor
the rich decadence of dark chocolate mingled
the burning fire of a chili pepper.

Am I coveting?  Am I being sinful to be too
material and sensual?  ******* it!  I bet
God loves taking a slow bite of chocolate.

I keep dividing the world into
material and spiritual.  
Maybe that's why I'm so hungry?
I was trying to be humorous about my own struggle with finding a spirituality that integrates my body and carnal desires.
 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Riot
the fight
 Apr 2014 Tamurray
Riot
tell me why i'm never good enough
why me being "good" is just too tough
for you to understand
and lending a hand of love is not in your plan
because you wanna be right?
but what is right when your on the wrong path?
like the mad hatter
all you do is laugh
and chaos is right
so you try and create discord
make it seem like i fight
and i do fight
i fight for what's right
and the day that you win
is the day i give in
so i guess you should sit back
it's going to be a long ride
before i tell you what you want
and give up the fight
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