She knew that she was broken
From the second that she could breathe.
She always tried to be hopeful,
But realized she was just niave.
She began to feel the world,
For what it really was.
And it pinned her down upon the ground
And killed her hopeful buzz.
She had things inside her,
That no one else could see.
A secret truth to who she was
And who she wanted to be.
It pushed out all her insides,
And raced a virus through her blood.
She didn't want to live anymore
In a world void of her love.
She didn't want them to find her,
In the bath tub down the hall.
But she cried for help so many times
With no answer through the walls.
She put on her best dress,
And lipstick for good measure.
She wrote notes to all she loved
And assigned them each a treasure.
She didn't want to be known as the girl,
That many never knew.
Because she felt in the short times she was here
She had only touched a few.
She envisioned a world of light,
But didn't have her own to give.
And she didn't want to be another blurred face
Who didn't want to live.
So she grabbed a brand new razor,
And laid down in her bed.
She said a silent prayer to the angels in her head.
She let her secrets spill
Down her fingers to the floor.
She was terrified and guilty
At who would find her through the door.
Her spirit finally lifted,
And she smiled from above.
Because she was finally light,
And she was finally love.
Some people were angry,
That she left them all alone.
But she made them understand
That she had never gone.
She looked down from the skies
And watched them with a smile.
Sometimes she'd turn into wind
To be near them for awhile.
She hoped they knew she'd loved them
and that they weren't to blame.
She just thought she could do more good
If she was only a remembered name.
Before she took her own life,
from the sadness and the hurt.
She wrote down a note
And made sure they'd see it first.
It read:
I am sorry little brother.
I am sorry mom and dad.
I am sorry to my best friends,
And my little sister who was the best friend I've ever had.
Its not that I don't love you
Because I promise that I do.
I just feel too much pain
And this is what I want to do,
Don't think of me as dying,
Think of me as finally being free.
Because it is no secret
That you never needed me.
I hope you all find love,
And spend your life growing inside.
And most of all I pray,
That you all are filled with light.
So that is her story
And the last one she'd ever tell.
But her soul was finally happy.
And her spirit..
It was well.