Why Don’t I Hate You?

Why don’t I hate you, after all you have done to me?
I have never known anyone who could destroy me so completely.
I was blinded by the false vows you made of a future;
Only to find out you were nothing but an abuser.
I had no warning,you just suddenly vanished;
Leaving me to question, and,my inner demons to vanquish.
It took all I had not to curl up and die.
Instead I wrote down my feelings, and, gave permission cry.
In a letter addressed to you, I never sent;
I poured out my “Whys” until I was spent.
I acknowledged the future you told me was a lie.
It was time to let go, and, say my final goodbyes.
I struck a match, to burn my memories of you.
I watched the flames grow, and then it was through.
A piece of my heart died the day you left me alone.
I wondered how could someone have a heart made of stone.
I had to create my own ending to us.
I’m forever changed, and, I won't be so quick to trust.
I hope that one day I am able to forgive you.
Because in doing that, I can reclaim what I most value.
Myself.

Randy McPeek