One of the worst things I could have done
Is blame you for all of the things you couldn't have known.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
Forgetting that you too, are human.
Putting on this front that we aren't as vulnerable as we seem.
Knowing all of the things that I keep from you.
I realized my mistake only when it was too late.
Revealing to you all the things that I thought you knew.
The things you couldn't have known.
How your name drives me insane soon as I hear it.
Staring across from you embracing every moment.
These things not often said not knowing how you'd react.
If you'd really see how important you are
One of the worse things I could have done.
Separating these same feelings in the blink of an eye.
Not knowing if you truly felt the same as I.
Twisting myself in half not realizing how whole you made me.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
I love the way you look at me.
The nonchalant way you'd often speak.
Putting on this front that we aren't as vulnerable as we seem.
How I crumble at the chance I didn't pull you closer.
Too few gaps left to fill.
Instead of telling you I always figured that you've known all of these things.
All of the things I wanted to do.
All of the things I wanted to say.
The weight of cookies that sit on a shelf.
Often suffocate while no one watches
Never knowing the feeling of being in love.
They often crumble

What do you say to life
When it comes knocking on your door
Saying "Your time is almost up"
And you look at all these things
You wasted

Remember that dusty keyboard your mother bought for you
Instead of buying groceries she bought you that
Because you'd always wanted to play the piano
But your family budget wouldn't allow
Extra expenses for the lessons and the piano
And you played simple nursery rhymes on it
London bridge and twinkle twinkle
And found joy in matching some notes from songs you loved
But you took it for granted
And that sacrifice
Was wasted on you

See those gray hair stands your father started having when you went to college
And you believe it was most likely because he was trying to send both you and your sister to good schools
Because your government fails to provide free quality education
To the youth it expects to carry the nation through
Yet when was the last time you touched that hair
Do you even recall how it feels to run your hand through your father's hair,
His face,
His floor plans?
Those
Were wasted on you

Hear your sister breathe peacefully
As she dreams of the storks movie you went to see this afternoon
In your futile attempt
To correct all the wrongs you did to her for twelve years of her life
How your destructive, violent behavior
Was always poured out into her sweet, innocent soul
Because you justified that you were afraid
That if she didn't fear you
She would never learn to be strong
And face the world
But in truth you were just a monster
And you realize now
Now that time's running out
You realize that those first twelve years were the most important
Because if you only did the right things
Your bond would have been cemented
But you were a monster
Who did not know how to express the tides of love
Who damaged her emotionally by pelleting her with bullets of unnecessary lectures about the pettiest things
And you cry and plead
For life to bring it all back
To bring all those years back
Because more than anything else in the world
It is your sister you love most
And she was wasted on you