I was in 7th grade when Sammie was born.
I remember someone walked into my classroom to give me the message,
that my very first niece had arrived.
I was so excited,
I almost cried.

Right after school my cousin rushed me to see her.
I remember she was so tiny,
I held her carefully in fear that I would break her.
She was the cutest little thing I had ever seen.
She even smiled at me.

She was premature,
so there were a few things that needed to be done.
She was a little sick and ended up staying in the hospital for awhile,
and because she was born only three days before my birthday,
I spent my 13th birthday with her in the hospital room.

I didn't mind spending my time there.
I loved seeing her sweet little face.
Although I hated when she'd cry,
and we weren't allowed to comfort her.
She was so beautiful and fragile.

Before I knew it,
she started growing.
She started out as a baby who just slept all the time,
and turned into a crazy toddler,
who often walked into my room and stole my breakfast every morning.

When she started to talk,
she began calling me "Mamber".
She couldn't say Amber without an M at the beginning,
but I didn't try correcting her.
I loved it.

Suddenly she was 5 years old.
She started talking like a little adult,
and she'd sing along to all my favorite songs with me.
She would sometimes push my buttons just for a good laugh,
but I wouldn't change a thing.

When she turned 7,
we realized she was a little different than most kids.
She had fears,
similar to the ones I struggle with as an adult,
and she could barely function because of those fears.

We realized she had anxiety and OCD.
To think that my sweet little niece had to carry such a heavy weight,
broke my heart into pieces.
I've felt the power of anxiety,
and I know the pain that comes with it.

Thankfully,
we found a way to help her cope,
and she no longer suffered as badly.
A fear here and there would pop up along the way,
but nothing abnormal like before.

She's now 8 years old,
but she likes to pretend she's 18.
She tells me she wants to call me Amber now,
and I refuse to let her.
I think it'll break my heart if she does.

She looks around my room,
and admires the paintings and drawings I've done,
and tells me that when she's big she wants to do things like I do.
I tell her that when she gets big,
she can do anything she wants to.

I never knew I could love a little human being so much.
Sometimes I pick her up and squeeze her,
just to tell her that she has got to stop growing up so fast.
She tells me she wants to be big,
and that being little isn't fun.

I know she will grow up,
regardless of how much I want her to stay small,
but there's one thing I will never stop teaching her.
I will relay it in her mind,
until it sticks with her.

I will tell her:
Keep that child-like spirit.
Be a kid at heart,
always.
And never let the world convince you to grow up too fast.

I love my Sammie.
She will always be little in my eyes.
Even when she's the age I am right now,
I will always see that little curly headed girl,
with the bright hazel eyes..

so ready to conquer the world.

<3