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Amber K Jan 2017
I was in 7th grade when Sammie was born.
I remember someone walked into my classroom to give me the message,
that my very first niece had arrived.
I was so excited,
I almost cried.

Right after school my cousin rushed me to see her.
I remember she was so tiny,
I held her carefully in fear that I would break her.
She was the cutest little thing I had ever seen.
She even smiled at me.

She was premature,
so there were a few things that needed to be done.
She was a little sick and ended up staying in the hospital for awhile,
and because she was born only three days before my birthday,
I spent my 13th birthday with her in the hospital room.

I didn't mind spending my time there.
I loved seeing her sweet little face.
Although I hated when she'd cry,
and we weren't allowed to comfort her.
She was so beautiful and fragile.

Before I knew it,
she started growing.
She started out as a baby who just slept all the time,
and turned into a crazy toddler,
who often walked into my room and stole my breakfast every morning.

When she started to talk,
she began calling me "Mamber".
She couldn't say Amber without an M at the beginning,
but I didn't try correcting her.
I loved it.

Suddenly she was 5 years old.
She started talking like a little adult,
and she'd sing along to all my favorite songs with me.
She would sometimes push my buttons just for a good laugh,
but I wouldn't change a thing.

When she turned 7,
we realized she was a little different than most kids.
She had fears,
similar to the ones I struggle with as an adult,
and she could barely function because of those fears.

We realized she had anxiety and OCD.
To think that my sweet little niece had to carry such a heavy weight,
broke my heart into pieces.
I've felt the power of anxiety,
and I know the pain that comes with it.

Thankfully,
we found a way to help her cope,
and she no longer suffered as badly.
A fear here and there would pop up along the way,
but nothing abnormal like before.

She's now 8 years old,
but she likes to pretend she's 18.
She tells me she wants to call me Amber now,
and I refuse to let her.
I think it'll break my heart if she does.

She looks around my room,
and admires the paintings and drawings I've done,
and tells me that when she's big she wants to do things like I do.
I tell her that when she gets big,
she can do anything she wants to.

I never knew I could love a little human being so much.
Sometimes I pick her up and squeeze her,
just to tell her that she has got to stop growing up so fast.
She tells me she wants to be big,
and that being little isn't fun.

I know she will grow up,
regardless of how much I want her to stay small,
but there's one thing I will never stop teaching her.
I will relay it in her mind,
until it sticks with her.

I will tell her:
Keep that child-like spirit.
Be a kid at heart,
always.
And never let the world convince you to grow up too fast.

I love my Sammie.
She will always be little in my eyes.
Even when she's the age I am right now,
I will always see that little curly headed girl,
with the bright hazel eyes..

so ready to conquer the world.

<3
This is to my sweet, sometimes evil, crazy, silly, amazing, adorable niece Samantha! <3 I love her so much! The day she was born, my life changed completely! She'll always be my little Sammie Wammie! (:
Nikita Marley  Feb 2014
Sammie
Nikita Marley Feb 2014
Oh my God you figured it out. Oh my God. Now I know. And I'm so glad.

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!!

I don't like him. I don't love him.

THAT WOULD BE ******
because we are one and he is me and I am him and what I thought was love was just me being stupid and just me liking how he likes to cuddle and now I know it's not true and I can't thank you enough.

And you put it into words so eloquently, not your strongest point Sammie.

You can get married or whatever but don't date cause that would be ******.

And it would be and it is so thank god we're not dating even though everyone wants us too.

I'm so relieved

And I texted you thanks Sammie and you replied ok... and I sent you a smiley face even though what I really wanted to do was kiss you and thank you a billion time because now I'm not confused anymore and I don't need to be embarrassed or hate myself because I didn't want to like him. And now I know I don't.
RebelJohnny May 2014
True love, the kind in fairy tales - ya know the ones with witches and knights, strapping princes and tarot-reading witches - is unexpected.

Don't listen to your mother and her love stories, or those cheap dime store romances. Love is not a teenage dream, or the flings on the soap operas (winning your Lucas back from that ***** Sammie, always my grandma's favorite villain in Days of Our Lives). Grandma, the life, love and days i want are different.

Love is fluttering butterflies. The uncertainty of knowing if this moment lasts, seeing a rainbow. The feeling always has an unspoken expiration date. It is rare. So rare that we pay psychics to find it, and whole forests have been lost amidst writing out our collective fantasies.

I guess it's a good thing my ideal love isn't grown on trees then. Supernovas can't be purchased. Trading hearts isn't easy. In fact, it hurts so much that Shakespeare's ghost considers revising Romeo and Juliet any time he thinks of what love has shown me. My love burns like a broken heart might sting if you shoved it full of stardust.

The ancestors knew love is a mystery. The sphinx doesn't know our riddle, and if spells worked I wouldn't be reading this poem. I can't waste anymore hope on tarot cards which have become worn out, bent, and far too familiar since I met you, love. Here let me explain:

The smell of you is a kind of mystic vapor. The oracles at Delphi would trade in their visions for one of yesterday's t-shirts. Don't be embarrassed or confused, I'm not here to play The Fool. I've already proven that we both can be The Magician, High Priestess and The Emperor. The magic of love is bigger than either of us.

My love comes with keys to my kingdom, sit on my throne, direct my armies, and borrow The Chariot. Hell, you can have the castle! You know that's what fairy tale sweethearts do.

This kingdom has known no Empress. That seat sits empty. Think you're man enough for the position? In a future fantasy, you'd inspire the nation, just the way you'll inspire me. We'd leave a legacy. Pyramids, empires, new eras, and new faiths would rise in our names. Pharaohs would envy how the Hierophant pronounces us inseparable. In my fairy-tale, letting down walls is easy. Love knows no labels, no limits, no bounds. Love is fairy dust.

In my 3 part epic, love and romance are no burden. See, this fantasy is one we read through time-to-time and I'm only just learning how to trust wishes made on shooting stars and genies in bottles. No one before has ever made it past the dragons, soldiers and that Minotaur. Believe me when I say, you appeared out of thin air and I trust in fate now. Thank you. I know you aren't the one. I'm learning to let you go.
I hope I do you justice. When you showed up, I prayed to my fairy godmothers for the first time I can recall. The last ******* ran off with Excalibur, the unicorns, and my scepter. "Oh well," you said. "That isn't what counts."

I've been a hermit so long, I forgot how to smile. But when I wake up in this new fairy-tale called life, I don't notice the treasurer, my wars, and problems in the kingdom or even that all my favorite princes still dream of finding their princesses most nights. Even that doesn't scare me. This is all too authentic and the heart gets used to being rejected. Stamped return to sender so many times, I can't count.

My happily-ever-after doesn't have to be perfect. I'm a realist, and besides, we've both gained so much that it feels like we finally landed a spin on the jester's wheel of fortune. Writing poems is something I gave up when I put aside these stories I grew tired of envying. Now I am writing my own. You currently don't fit the part of Prince Charming. Ironic since you inspired him.

Ya see my physical wants are just side effect of the real bliss that I find when I am myself beside you. I don't need ruby rings, or magic slippers to feel at home here. You give me the Strength to fight my own nightmares off. That’s a gift no elves could forge into gold.

It's the way you make the world explode into color that is worth any cost. It’s your honest caring that neutralizes the occasional tragedy. Besides, the drama, which is less dramatic than any of the past “once-upon-a-times” I've fallen into, only makes the story more exciting.

You broke the spell that a Black sorceress and her 3 sister put on you. I first felt like a hero that day at your side. Hearing you renounce your former desire to be the Hanged Man, or to desire Death, is still one of my favorite chapters of the story we wrote.

The love I dream of isn't easy, as I've said. It isn't always epic or fantastical. Sometimes it’s about finding the Temperance not to push potential princes off the balcony too often. There just aren't enough magic carpets these days. I've discovered that learning not to expect change is its own school of challenging wizardry. Luckily, I'm not bad with rare wands.

My love has its risks. I get it, love is usually a surprise! Love like this is easy to deny, fear or resist. I don't want a proposal or their parent's permission for a hand! I just want my prince to be the first person willing to face down The Devil for me, the only one who climbs my Tower and really ruffles the sheets, the one who outshines The Moon.

I don't want to be "that prince." I'm no former-frog; I'm no good with a sword. Honestly, I had given up on magic until you asked me to eclipse the moon. It wasn't hard. If I have to extinguish the Sun, my tears would swell and blacken the sky. I am glad I don't need to shed them anymore.

This love, rare and mystical, is like a leprechaun. Everyone wants it, nobody seems to find it. I got to the end of the rainbow though. It will go something like this, "once upon a drunken, Vegas night..." an Urban fantasy at its finest, if I do say so myself. I just don't want the *** of gold. Give me the dark, mysterious knight. **** the prince. I know it sounds crazy. He and the princess can take the *** of gold, the baby unicorn, and my Judgment too!

My love is risky. It has no chains, guarantees, or Geico lizard to vouch for it. No time-turner to fix it when I **** up, no love potion to make you stay. In my fairy tales, the dragons are our wounded personalities. His shining armor is a defense mechanism, and my damsel-in-distress routine won't work if we let the spark go out.

In my timeless romance, The Lovers learn to enjoy the moment. **** castles, I'd be happy to get a studio. I don't have a unicorn. My chariot looks the same after midnight. I can't promise riches, fame or immortality. And yeap, compared to the princesses, I'd better resemble a toad some mornings.

But I have a love that can put Shakespeare to shame. I'm more complex than Tolkien's Middle Earth, braver than Harry and just as scarred, smarter than Gandalf though I lack his beard, more patient than any of those damsels, and I bet I cook better. No, I know I do. Somehow, this quest has taught me self-confidence.

Unlike those fairy tales, I'm no finished masterpiece. This work in progress has a heart of gold, is on a quest, growing up daily and aims for future royalty. I'm looking for love, ready to leave Neverland, and all i have to offer you are my best effort, this worn deck of cards, myself, and all The World I can bewitch for us.

WANTED: one prince charming who can see themselves in this real-life fairytale.
Pea  Aug 2015
Sammie Jay
Pea Aug 2015
living with a mind this
gladly doing the ***** i do not aspire to
very slow clap because my hands are full
& the thrill is gone
spending days friendless, loveless
in loneliness
nothing lies within
no pleasure coming
wearing mask, cannot take it off
easy task, only fake sweetness
wrenches me bad, even god
must get the blues

— The End —