Alive, alive—I own several masks
to hide what is dead inside.
I keep it hidden
in the heart of the dark
where nothing but fake bravado lurks
and I am a prisoner confined
in my own ribcage.
Surviving on consuming myself from within
eating my guts to have 'more of it',
a massacre of glory and gore.
My blood glows and hardens
when i hear my name being screamed
and with their words
I stab myself repeatedly
and plant in myself the seed of remorse
until I bleed a garden of crimson blossoms
to which I proudly smile at.
I forgive and forgive others
but never bothered to erase my mistakes
with my soul penned in this writer's curse
continuing to write in permanent ink
pouring from the fragile glass cartridge of a heart.
I smother myself to sleep paradise
and wake up beautifully paralyzed
adorned with their disapproving stares
that look down on me.

An endless cycle of unraveling,
even when there is nothing left
to pull out and shred to pieces.
Unlike the trees in the seasons
unraveling themselves bare
when their leaves die and resurrect.
This tone of farewell sings
salutations to the perfect
as i see the skies above turn glassy as my eyes.
It's hard to keep an image
of yourself to please everyone
and even yourself.

I lost parts of my masks
when I let other people wear them
for them to see how it's like to live so cautiously.
Too many a crowd has used the masks
and they are slowly being shattered under pressure,
turning into a mirror,
a reflection of inside
—no, i must be careful with them all.

I almost freely gave one blue mask,
my heart and my entirety,
to someone who did not collect masks
but collects sadness.
Neither of us must not fall prey to the other
and I will do what it takes to chain
the kaleidoscope of beasts pulsating in me
to protect that person called my salvation.
I conclude:
I must not let anyone wear my masks anymore
to avoid hurting them
from the shards of the broken me.

I wear my masks quietly
a different one each day
that no one would notice me.

Only I hope they will never forget
I, who owns these masks—alive,
to hide what is dead inside.