i can remember the pain,
but unlike most other pain
i can't feel its touch.
i can remember how it felt,
the smooth yet knife-like edge
slicing open my dense skin.
i can remember that feeling,
i yearn for it to come back
and haunt me.
i can remember the sweet release,
the deep incision
and i want it back.
yet i cannot remember how it felt,
i cannot feel the cold glass
that was once there.
but i want it back.
i can't imagine what the sting felt like,
although i've felt it
so many times before.
i feel lost without it,
like it has it's place on my skin
and deserves to be there.
i do want it back,
i ache for it deeply
to pierce me again.
please give me the strength to bring it back.
