Welcome to my Sunday Night.

12:50 AM
Wide awake from the adderall
I swallowed to chase my need
for achievement

1:03
After Achieving approximately
zero
of my work
I find myself fully indulging
In the little
teenaged
demon
on my shoulder.

As she encourages
The Rapid Fire  
of
Clicks

That lead to your
Facebook Page

1:04
I'm paging through photos of your
lovers past

I
Stop
and
Stare

at Her

And So begins
The Laundry List
of comparisons

She has a better jawline than mine.
Her eyes are browner than mine?
Her gaze is Piercing
She's so edgy
She's so original

She's basically
Perfect

1:35
At this point
I've


Paced

Approximately 205 Circles
Around My Room

Listed

About 80 Reasons
Why she's Better than me

Crawled

Into a Fetal Position
Of Panic

Concluded

That I could
Never
Make You as Happy as She Did

Wondered

How I could have been so
Foolish

Concocted

37 Schemes for Finding
A Way Out

Imagined

You calling her
"Baby"

Over
and
Over
and
Over
and
Over

Cried

Searching for the emotions I'd gambled
Like Poker Chips

Throwing them all in,
as a Sentiment to my
Commitment

1:40
I'm Asking Myself
1:41
How would I ever give him what he needed?
1:42
How could I be the Girl he'd end up with?
1:43
Why would I believe that I was right for him?

Each minute delivering haymaker Questions,
Each more crushing than the last.

And as my mind prepared for its Nightly Death

I Pause.

1:45
Checking the date that these photos found Origin
1:46
Approximately
3 Years

Since it was all over.

3 Years since the last
I
Love
You

Post

More than 2 Years since
The last photo that his eyes
Sang
Genuine Love Songs.

3 Years that

Their hearts had not been
beating each others names.

1:47
My Brain drags back
The Questions of Before
Torturing Me.

1:48
But Suddenly
There's a **** inside me
My heart is playing
defense

1:49
How Could I give him what he wanted?

Because my heart beats for the seconds in which your smile resides.

Because I'll accept nothing less than what you deserve, sun and stars alike.

1:52
How could I be the girl he'd end up with?

Because 3 Years is enough time to refine your tastes.

Because I'm in love with you today, and today you kissed me
With your eyes closed.

Because that smile doesn't belong to her anymore.

1:55
Why would I believe that I was right for him?

Because you deserve someone to love you like only I can.

Because I am a fighter.
I fight for what's right.
And every part of me is fighting for us.

Because I will not be driven away by shadows that
leave
as Darkness Descends.

I am there in the nights when
goosebumps
chill.

I am there when
I can only be
felt.

I am there
to create a smile that
can only be
heard.

Who are you to believe so strongly in a pipe dream?

2:00
I am the hopeless romantic.
2:05
I am the one whose got nothing left to lose.  
2:10
I am the one who wears that title as a Badge of Honor.
2:15
I am the one who will fight the world in protection of that tribute.
2:20
With every swipe of my pen in a
love letter
2:30
With every kiss
fueled like a
right hook
2:40
With every second
shoving toward making
You Happy
2:50
Who are you to claim him
"yours"?

I'm the one who refuses to get lazy with time.
I'm the one who will never say things out of spite.
I'm the one who has committed to their joy.

3:00
Who am I?

I'm the girl who will show him how to be loved.

That's ******* who.