The fact that he said "You look pretty today" and that I knew he was only a friend, was sure of that, only made what he said feel more honest...and then today I didn't even feel "pretty" as we define it, like I was wearing a t-shirt instead of something more close and I wasn't wearing even mascara, and it really struck me. But now I think I'm starting to see that my beauty doesn't depend on my outward appearance---sometimes, that distracts from my inner beauty. I'm a child of God, and that is who I am, not what society says or what magazines say I should look like. It seems so simple to just "not care" about how I look, but it's actually something I've been fighting recently. I never thought I would. It's funny what being around people my own age does (plus a breakup that's left me kind of unstable). But I think I like not wearing makeup or shirts outside my comfort zone better than self-consciousness, wondering if anyone thinks I'm doing it for attention.

I think I'm starting to be free.