I'm supposed to be healthy.

I work out daily,
My eating habits are normal,
I'm physically healthy,
My grades can be fixed,
My mental health is becomming better,
I'm in a loving, non-toxic relationship,
The connection to my family is alright,
I'm close with my friends.
I have a lot of hobby's and interests
I don't feel empty most of the time.

Why, Why, Do I Not Feel Okay?

I think on you probably more than I should, and honestly, more than I want.

I think on you like a distant dream. Like a perfect and idyllic ideal.... Like that thing that I don't need, but I'm dying to have.

I think on you even when I believe that I forget you and then you reappear in my mind like an explosion of blue and orange and red in the lighter that lights up my cigarette.

And I don't sleep thinking on having you with me. Having you in my bed; in my shapeless arms, that, if you're not with me, are just lifeless things.

Above all the things, I think on you because I know you think on me.