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basil Aug 2021
i can't look at anyone with purple hair without seeing you
even though you dyed it silver just before you.... before we.... yeah
it *****, but i'd rather see you in people that aren't you
than not see the you that you aren't when i look at your face

that makes no sense

i keep confusing the you that you showed me
with the you that i made up
and i still don't know which one loved me

but i know it is 'loved'
past tense

i'm pretty sure it was past tense
even before you sent me that text
oh god, that text

i didn't know a heart could shatter so slowly
and yet completely all at once;
like an ice cube that cracks as soon as it hits the water
but takes hours to fully melt

i hear you in all the songs we used to listen to together
and these days, that's most songs i play
even though i finally mustered up the will to delete the playlist i made for you

it was just a part of the melting
so i guess i'm writing love poems and breakup poems at the same time. god, if i had a therapist this would be a fun conversation xD

i miss the **** out of u, blue eyes. but also idk if i can see u rn cuz i wouldn't be able to not kiss ur face. or i would. and idk what is worse atm.

08.20.2021

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