The first kind of carnival I encountered besides at the county fair was a huge one on the far outer reaches of the North Bronx on the way to Yonkers and White Plains call Freedomland.

I remember Disneyland and the black licorice drops there at the old time confectionary store.  I hope to go to Disney World in my lifetime.

AS far as a regular circus I went to one when I was on a locked ward (we were let out under supervision) at the Lyons New Jersey UAMC.  I was so desperately feeling like a failure due to confinement, and felt such hopelessness, that I contemplated joining the circus as a roustabout, but it seemed futile in the big picture, after all, I felt because I'd just be going from the frying pan into the fire success or lack thereof wise.

I think I noticed a certain clown looking at me out of the corner of his eyes and reading my mind there and letting me know I'd mad e the fright decision, and seeing a choice female acrobat stride by that reminded me that I wanted to start a family someday and stars of circuses are probably kept separate from the roustabouts.

I can remember going to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey circus with my mother as a kid and being thrilled at the taste of the cotton candy, the lion tamer doing his thing , the smell of the sawdust, and the ringmaster of that 3 ring circus and his whip.  I was in awe.

In the meantime I was going to local carnivals and trying my hand with the pellet gun shooting sitting ducks that passed by in front of the king in the hall of mirrors, and going on the roller coasters and the Ferris wheel.

Later I went to the Barnum and Bailey circus as an adult and the trapeze artist, especially the female ones and , for example the parade of the Arabian horsed, thrilled me too.

I also took my foster son to a carnival and the sorta juvenile delinquent erstwhile deprived kid-he was, I though.  I got a thrill out of him seeming impressed.

Enough of this, not that it's syrupy sentimentality, which I find enough in my poetry to have a sense of failure there but maybe kind of exercise in senility.

You've got to try to blot out relationships with other people, I think, to form true friendships with your family member, but you can profit from these other relationships if you've learned certain skills there.

Don't let your love of family members overshadow that which you nurture, foster, and embellish in the theories of true familial friendship.

In other words, talk over the good times, "apologize" for the bad times, do fun things together, and be as generous as you possibly can be with them.
Maintain your sense of humor as far as any phobias, neuroses, or hangups the family members might have that otherwise would get on your nerves.
Be considerate, punctual, try to be thoughtful, and maintain contact with them through thick and thin.
There probably is much more to this than the above-think of ideas yourself-especially little things mean a lot ones.

Create.
Be Sensitive.
Look good in the face
Dress up to date
Have a nice build
Have a great personality
I tell myself
I want to attract somebody really nice
if I'm to get married again
Even if I'm already 72 years old
I worry
I fret
I scurry about
waiting for someone to particularly tout
I may seem all out
but with 2 older sisters
I know
how women
discuss about
catching Mr. Right.
I want to be someone's Mr. Right
or flight
the blight of being uptight
and just get out of my sight
with all my might
with no more fright
and attempt to take it light!
But I love being uptight
and wallowing in my pity
but in right now
I wanted to go see "Sul"
but if I burn the midnight oil
worrying about being married to a real dish
then my toil
over termites or sumpin 1
without seeing
the Olde Miss
in women
won't get me
what I probably desire-
a woman like Rumpken2
and along with "it"
a nice house near a forest preserve
where there wont' be one fore fit
What I'm saying is I'm  looking for Miss Right
and if I don't find her I'll
go into hiding
but I probably should actually look for
someone I'm compatible with,
if that's the rule of thumb.

I love me
I'm no tree
There's a fee for that
not including me
Shortstop the poetry
Prevent it from being more
about a tree
Be it a studly guy
Or something to buy
at Christmas time
3 women come to mind-
one a grouch, one decadent,
and one loose
Return to the blues
and this trilogy
with care
extra
will surely be
to the tune
of reading
Morning Becomes Electra

Like right after a meal when I can't get the bits and pieces out from between my teeth with a used toothpick I just happen to have in my tote bag so I write about it.

Not being able to get my pants and underwear adjusted right so my ding-a-ling will be comfortable right when we're off rushing to dinner or something, and I just can't get it right.

When my favorite teams in sporting events are losing in a discouraging fashion that gives off an air of foreboding to their staining for success for the year in general.

Watching CNN and getting the same story over an over again.

Not getting comfortable lying in my bed.

Constant sleep in my eyes, especially since some nurse said to me, Yes, that's a sign that one is dying.

Listening to a CD and wanting to finish it up when I'm in a hurry, or getting stopped at the important break also, and have the frock group usually go on with the cut forever.

There, there's a sampling of frustrating time (or more pet peeves, I guess) for me.

salty
soft
laughter
curves
broken bed frame.

Tell us where the chair is.
Tell us of idleness.
Tell us the real difference
between long term goals
and short term ones
so we can mete out our life.
Your lips speak softly
of the raw red lipstick
******* a kiss
cutie,
but let's let true sinners
indulge themselves
while we try to express ourselves

Splotchy lipstick
from there at the piano,
I know you're not a
"rooch" as they say, and a *****, of course
but high class
But I cant' help but call myself a
male "rooch"
and a male *****
and you're obviously
not a *****
You look kinda daring and come hither
in the face a little sometimes.
What I'm saying is
Young Lady
Opposites sometimes
do attract
and I love your voice
Let's get together
in the tether
and wax heavier
and heavier
and write letters
and know what it means
to be "more better"

I'm looking forward
to getting more CD's
cozy, nice Christmas gifts,
Illinois basketball is blooming
a batch of my poetry
typed up by one of my caregivers for me to read
Rejoicing in the social aspects of Christmas
as some Muslims do
Reading a couple of easy read books
Enjoying the cold weather
(I like it cold rather than hot)
Doing some rewarding activities here in the hospital
Sending out Christmas cards to old friends
Pertinent emails to and from family
Timely phone calls from them and back
and the signing of Illinois football recruits
and the Yankee hot glove league
December is my favorite month
mainly because that's when
Illinois can win some ballgames in basketball,
mainly non-conference