after i was told about the dangers of cadmium,
i never really used oil paints,
or acrylic;
i'm more of a watercolor girl myself.
~but if i'm honest, i’m not really much of a painter in the first place

my painting teacher once told the class
"you'll never miss it if you don't know about it"
he said some paints weren't good for us
& even though they looked better, with richer, more brilliant colors,
they weren't safe for us.
too much exposure to them could poison us;
for they included a toxic component.
we never used these paints,
and so we never missed them.
i wish i could say the same about you.
~a poem about cadmium colors

Cadmium*

You took a bullet to my heart
made of titanium,
poisoned my blood with deceit and lies,
filled my lungs with cadmium.

How can I not see your reflection
in any one who speaks your same words?
I try to forget of your mistakes
but mirrors only amplify the hurt.

I have given up on searching for your heart,
hope and want are a self destructing team;
you've never once apologised,
I've had to settle for "I'm sorry" in my dreams.