How did I get here?
What year did I get
hooked? I can say
it began in 7th/8th grade,
but this has been going on
much longer.
   I was born addicted
to breathing too hard, kicking,
screaming, fighting everything
going on around me.

   I was born addicted to
burning. I have always reveled
in my own shadow. Been addicted
to addictions. Been hooked on
the Boogey man and the monsters
in my closet.
I remember,
I was 5,
tried to play with
my nightmares, but
they were playing with
my dreams and psyche.

I'm in a downwards
roller coaster. I swear it was
going up,
   Then again after all
the drugs I'm surprised
my inner ear has any sense
of direction.
I've been lost in a hurricane
filled with marijuana,
amphetamines, all the alcohol
you could wish for.
  ******, *******, Percocet, acid,
  shrooms, Ecstacy, Xanax, I've
  popped pills with no clue of the
  name.
  Snorted so many different chemicals
  I got a nose bleed for 2 hours.
  and took another bump
  when the road looked safe.

My path of addiction is
embedded in my DNA.
I swear I was born
on fire.
    I burn through each day,
    I burn through each moment,
    I burned through my own brain.
Burn out... That's what you call it.