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Katie Jun 2020
Mothers are supposed to love their children unconditionally.
So why doesn’t mine?
Gianna Jun 2020
Better.
I'm better. At least that is what I've been trying to convince myself of for the past months.
I still want to make all of this... Hurting go away.
I've lost myself in this deep maze made out of steel. When the weather doesn't help, I melt. I become water, and I can't breathe. I can only keep swallowing water. I can only keep on dying, trying to be far enough from the ones I look up to, so no one knows I'm choking.
I need you. I need you to guide me this time, cause I'm walking with my eyes closed. They don't see what's real, so why do I need them, then? They're worthless.
Breathing with the ashes of the past dancing in the air around me makes me crave it. The old "habit" I used to shut my mouth with  is not working as it used to anymore.
I'm still broken.
I'm better...
I'm better.
Kayla Burke May 2020
sometimes i ponder the thought that if i were to take my own life the sun would sure as hell still rise the next day

that if one day you woke up and i was no longer here
my existence would eventually become something you’d only acknowledge once a year

it hurts to force myself out of bed and stare at this hollowfied carcass of a body that i'm forced to roam

my soul is no longer here
it was ripped from the most sacred parts of me years ago

i don't think im meant to stay here for much longer
though i truly tried to find something to cling to
being forced to live in such agony is wrong

the whole point of my existence here on this plane is what follows after im long gone
Lexi May 2020
There's a mom out there who is staring down at her legs with so much anger and pain she can barely see.

There's a mom, with no proof she recently cleaned the entire house, she tries to calm down her toddler who has yet to sleep.

There's a mom, with tears and a loud mind waiting until she wins back control of her emotions before she ***** something else up.

There's a mom all on her own and no therapy/counselling that worked, she began to build her walls again for the last time.
Tired of judging my every action. Will I ever be enough?
SimpleWritings May 2020
emotions come into my brain
working at steering me to feel insane
my brain always tries to kick them out
but they always like to lock it out
as they battle and i stare
i long to find the key in despair
to help my brain get back its ruling chair
take the script in both hands and gave it a mighty tear
somehow emotions always seem to reign and overflow
turning me into an immaculate freak show
tears are pouring out all over the floor
shaking and tormenting my very core

why do i have to feel so intensely
why is my life packed so densely

14/05/2020
a May 2020
I can't wait
until looking in the mirror makes me smile
instead of cower away in shame
that my face
this vessel that carries me
gives me warmth
yet I hurt her so much
but she keeps me going
it's not fair that I treat her this way
but I can't bring myself to love her
and cherish her like I should

They said it would heal with time
but does time really heal?
or are they just trying to put a limit on how much I can wallow?
a May 2020
staring off at the blank walls that surround me

I don't think I'll ever recover
from the nights I spent sobbing
staining the pillow with the makeup thats been left on my face for days
I don't even care anymore
the pent up rage
the anger
the disparity
I want it to leave

leave behind the empty vessel that once held a pure soul
wow it's been a hot minute since I've been on here lol. hope everyone is staying safe in quarantine.
Batchelor May 2020
My eyes fall back down on the floor.


Grounded, but secure.


This is the logical result : I'm leaving the burn marks behind.

A cool, dry corpse, crackling apart piece by piece in the wind.

Leaving only, beautiful bleached bones behind.
Your skin, bones all beautiful and eternal.

Back after a long break of being ill.

Now, let's finish The Bibliography Of Unspoken Truths.

1st of February, 2018.
Dani May 2020
"The Silence Is So Loud"

Floating along the mountains, just above the ground
Soaring high, seeing, feeling and flying
The silence of wind so ******* loud
Falling down suddenly, what a rude awakening

But we do not wake, we just quietly stare
At the ground growing closer
Knowing we will not splatter here
Sometimes wishing it so, just for the exposure

Exposure of our fearless mind, so terrified
Not of the rise or fall, as we know them well
Afraid of our weakness, and that our fear might be verified
That we might let go, forgetting we're under a spell

We allow our rise to continue and soar without regard
And do not consider the descent we know is coming
Wind bustling our ears muffling the thoughts we continuously disregard
For the rise is beautiful, like flying and dancing

The high is absolutely thrilling, we can no longer think clearly
We try to stay with the energizing adrenaline, we try to gain composure
Yet, we grow weary
So here comes the free fall, watch the ground grow closer

And we begin to beg ... for a level head to rest in our cave.
Oh the great highs and the terrible lows. A level head is all we crave...
I'd rather I didn't know. I'd give anything to not understand the highs and lows of emotion and thought. Call it bi-polar, cyclothymic disorder, mood swings, whatever... Nonetheless, it's terrifying, beautiful, and the silence is so loud.
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