With never a thought for the shadow of corrosion
nor the fertile breeding ground
of eel slime and rabbit guts,
we took adventure’s companion:
the pocket-knife,
and sliced our thumbs.
A fragment of pain
much less than its apprehension;
to watch
the rubyed jewel of life
swell
then run to kiss the earth with salty gravity.
Pressing our thumbs together,
blood into blood,
we made a symbol of our bond.

This was a time
when blood was blood
and not more virulent
than rats in Renaissance Europe.
When “Magic” Johnson was a messiah.
When dentists and doctors probed with impunity.
Before plasma was a Trojan Horse for haemophiliacs.

Now
even the mosquito’s drone assails our mortality
yet we are loath
to shipwreck its cargo of strange blood.
The body once a temple
now a fortress.
But what is to be our vigilance
when the enemy lies within?

Introduction:

        Since the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, 60 million people have been infected and 25 million have died. The AIDS epidemic began in 1981. In this woven poem collection are four poems. This collection surrounds the poem Please Don't Cry by Joe Green. The surrounding poems are Stage 5  by Michaela Oh, The Death Of Thee's Lover by Ike Thomas, and Death Of A Lover by Velia Espinoza. The theme of this collection is a girl who lost her lover due to AIDS. Her lover was born with the infection and lost his battle at seventeen years old.

The Poem Collection:

In darkness creeps my misery,
I often wonder where he's now.
I look at the vain, think of happiness
It just doesn't work...
I can't express my misery,
For he is gone and never back to fill my heart with joy and love.

My heart is pounding...
My tears are pouring...
Although, he once said to me,

"Please don't cry, I'm not really gone.
When you look out the window
I'll be standing on the lawn.

Please don't cry, I'll see you again.
Don't be sad, keep up your chin.

Please don't cry, I'm not really dead.
When you cry yourself to sleep,
I'll be by your bed.

Please don't cry, just because we had to part.
As long as you remember me,
I'll live in your heart.

Please don't cry, I'm not gone forever.
I'll be a cool breeze in hot summer weather.

Please don't cry, don't run and hide.
When you need a shoulder to lean on,
I'll be by your side.

Please don't cry, when you're sad and weak
I'll be there
To kiss you on the cheek.

Please don't cry, this is just a goodbye.
So please, oh please.
Baby, do not cry."

You're in my dreams, my mind.
I know you're right next to me, right here, right now.

Although my heart may sting and ache
You are always by my side.

However, I need you like an ocean needs it's tide.
I always thought we would live this life together, hand in hand.

Darling, I love only you.
We were the perfect two.

Eleven years old.
Skin stuck to her bones.
Can’t afford to get a cold.
Can’t even stand on her own.

Fan spinning fast but
still drowns in her sweat.
Can never stay awake.
She sleeps with all at stake.

As these red soldiers
mount our chests,
Let us pray for those
whose tomorrow may be worse than today.

Do you remember Red Ribbons
And the fear the world felt inside
Could AIDS be transferred through vision
Was the air contagious outside

Some said the government made it
Others thought it was god's design
AIDS had infected our spirits
Was the air contagious outside

Was AIDS transmitted by touching
"Don't touch him he's gay and you'll die"
Repugnant minds were erupting
Was the air contagious outside

Do you remember Red Ribbons
Was the air contagious outside

I started wearing Red Ribbons
After hearing my friends tragic tales
Of the worst gifts they'd been given
Entombed in a black mourning veil

Our grandmothers they were best friends
You told me, my god I went stale
Sick with anguish for your grave end
Entombed in a black mourning veil

Once surrounded by many, now few
Your frame morphed from buxom to frail
Love you Joy, I bid you adieu
Entombed in a black mourning veil

I started wearing Red Ribbons
Entombed in a black mourning veil

I breathe in this silence that is not
Silenced,
Air alive with heartbeats and
Clocks ticking too slow,
Eyes meeting over
Sticky plastic tables,
Snapping away like an awkward blind date,
Fingertips drumming impatiently.
Wait.
Calm.
Be patient.
Tick...tock........tick...............tock

I can't, I won't, my son laying
One floor, 3 hallways, 12 rooms away,
But we are relegated to the hospital cafeteria as if my husband and I are naughty schoolchildren,
Interfering.
My red shirt crumples beneath
Nervous fingers,
The same shade as the blood given
To my son, not knowing it contained
Death.
Why can't I fight with my son,
My son,
Shining brightly and boldly as the sun,
Infected with a blood-borne killer we were never warned about.
Hemophilia is a tough diagnosis,
But my careful worrying wasn't enough to save him from a
Diagnosis of ostracism and certain death.
AIDS.
Oh God.
Breathe.
Can't breathe.
Time moves too fast, my son racing towards eternity
Alone.


White sheets and sterile beds rob
My son of all his sunshine,
Lips blue and pale like my husband's jacket,
Nothing but incessant beeping and bustling nurses who can't fix him,
Clock going tick, tock, tick, tock.
I see red.
Red dripping into and out of his arms through silver needles,
How do I know that this is safe,
No one knows if this is safe,
This is our only hope.


Tick..tock.....tick........tock.
White coat of the doctor moving too quickly towards us,
We run.
My heart thumping red and my stomach yellow bile and my eyes leaking blue.
Hospital room not room enough for all my emotions,
All of my tears,
All of my grief,
All his last breaths.
My son.
No longer my sunshine,
Just a pale winter afternoon,
No sun beneath cold sheets of snow.
My son.

Time moves too slow when everyone wears black,
Like molasses dripping from a jar into
Metallic air and earthy graves.
Like ash clouding out the sun.
My son.
No more my sun.