It's 4:30am
And here I am
Wide awake
Eyes bloodshot
My thoughts a mess
My heart more so
Consumed by loneliness
I'm feeling helpless
The problem is
I don't know why
This sadness eats me away
All I know is that
I'm upset over life
I don't know why
My heart is aching
My brain exploding
Am I anxious?
Am I depressed?
If so, why?
The world is filled
With everything real
With the beautiful
And the contrary
Why waste my time on abstract sadness?
But here I am
In a state of despair
Feeling like all hope
Is gone from my life
I need help
I need friends
I need motivation
I need to get out of here
But they're not here
They're nowhere to be seen
My thoughts twisting
By each second passing
My pulse slowing down
My limbs feeling numb
What should I do
To get out of this pit?
I'm dying inside
The void in my heart
Has consumed me completely
My sanity slipping away
From the twists in my brain
Tell me what should I do
And how should I move
From here
Help..
Thoughts at 4:30am.
Everyone's asleep, and here I am
Alive and awake.
The sun's almost up.
Birds are starting to chirp.
Ugh. I hate these bipolar feelings.
-J