I looked as you got out from the house
I was suddenly swayed by your manliness
So lovely and rugged in your checkered shirt
Dark beard so scruffy and muscles so rippling.

You slowly walked towards me like a panther
The birds suddenly sang ting a ling a ling ding ****
You slowly stretched your arms and whispered
Huh? But I cannot hear what you say, what is it?

Are you going to **** me at this very moment?
With just your looks you can but I beg you don’t!
You sized me up and down and I was scared but then
Thank goodness you are simply a Lumbersexual.

You opened the zipper of your worn-out jeans
Ooohh! What a huge “hatchet” you have there
You poured everything and I accepted silently
I cannot complain nor retreat for I am just a tree!

Your name sounds like John Lennon
But you make my mouth water more
I feel giddy when squeezing you hard!

March for freedom my dear countrymen!
Let our love be spilled on our motherland
Our sweat and tears shall fall on her *****
Marks of our valor shall grow in its gardens.


Raise highly the red flags in our battleships
Waive the colors that symbolize our passion
Men, women and children stand up to fight
In unity we will sing our songs of freedom!


Drop the bombs of hope from our planes
To be discovered by the future generations
Their mouths shall be filled by our melodies
They shall enjoy the peace that today we fight for!

Oh dear cousin who is a sister to me
With a name sounds like a Marian nun
Who works for the poor, with the poor
But who is never ever poor in everything
Guide me with your kindness and affection.

Love is a horrible and terrible word
In war and peace do not bind the cord
Volatile and futile strings of golden discord

Dawn of confusion and occasional madness
And some dose of perpetual sickness
Wandering soul and mind in darkness
Never let it take the scales of your blindness.

My heart flutters wild
When I gaze at your six packs
**** your cigarettes!