f ł ø w ë r

f ł ø w ë r Apr 2018

running

i'm running
where do i go
who do i go to
i can't-
my chest clenches at the sight of each dead end
my eyes well up with tears and i cup my ears
i scream
no one can hear me
running
another dead end
the world around me spins until
i fall
into complete nothingness

f ł ø w ë r Apr 2018

someone to lean on

i need someone
that i trust
to lean on and hold me
make it all go away
make the bad days seem good just by smiling and saying
'hi' or by hugging me
i feel like they've all just..
left
distanced themselves away because I'm just a ******* mess
a clingy
annoying
mess
that needs someone just to stay stable
that isn't normal is it?
no
it's unhealthy

lol i hate myself

#mentalbreakdownwho #ihatemyself #numb #love #friendship

f ł ø w ë r Apr 2018

why

i feel
like im the ocean
cheesy metaphor i know, but it's true
people say im pretty
they pass by
many come and go
but no one ever stays
am i not good enough?
why do i feel like a piece has been ripped from me
like i'm just an empty shell of a person
wandering around till someone needs me
does anyone really need me?

the answer to the last line?
no. no one does really need me.

#whoops #depression #lonely #numb

f ł ø w ë r Feb 2018

Love is Love

Love is
That feeling in your chest and tummy when you're with that person
That smile on your face that never seems to fade
Laughing at all of their ridiculous jokes

Love is
Never wanting to let go because of the society we live in
Fighting for what you want
Never giving them up for the world

Love is
The light at the end of the tunnel
The force that will battle off our demons
That victorious feeling when you've won

Love is
The warm embrace that holds you close to them
Staying even though it's hard
A battle that will be won..

Love is
being proud of who you're with
not backing down when you're pushed down

People may hate us
They may tear us in pieces to keep us apart
But with you it'll be okay
We just have to fight
because Love is Love
and Love is all we need.

:)

#loveislove #pride

Sep 2017

ryrosaur

So I Had A Good Day Once And That Was Nice

They'll ask me how I am and I'll say "oh, uh, alive"
(or something to that extent, a minor variation, we can talk about that later)
But Monday? Monday was good.
Mondays aren't supposed to be good, either - we've got to get up and function and actually do things and that's much harder than it sounds, but Monday was good. I gave compliments and recieved them in return and a pretty girl smiled at me.
I was told that I was loved.
For once, I wasn't anxious.

Aug 2017

ryrosaur

Okay, So It Goes Like This

It's like
We've swapped.
You've gotten better as I've gotten worse and we're in each other's shoes, now
Did you repair yourself at the same pace at which I was breaking, huh? That sounds fun, it sounds great, really.
But I've become less social and more anxious and less confident
And I'm both worth less and worthless, as in I mean less to people than I did and that I mean nothing to them, too