that feeling
the feeling of nothing
the way it takes over her body is like fire
she's staring down at her books
so much work to do
no motivation to do it
she gets yelled at for not working hard enough
for her grades slipping
even though
getting up in the morning is the most effort she puts in all day
the feeling worsens
she doesn't even want to listen to music
the thing that used to be her escape
is now pushed away
she sits in silence
for hours
her friends are messaging her
but there's no motivation to respond
she thinks about all the ways to make it go away
the numbness
it hurts
the yelling is getting harsh
she stays silent
she's looking down at her hands
the yelling doesn't effect her
because she doesn't feel anymore

Why do they lie?
Why do they give false hope?
When they say be yourself, why don't they mean it?
These lies we've been told as children
We believe them
They expect us to
Go against them and you're in trouble
These lies are messing with my head
They say you're selfish for doing what your want
A narcissist
Stubborn
Yes, I'm stubborn
I'm not selfish for wanting to wear what I want with pride
I'm not selfish for doing what I think is good for me
I'm not selfish for showing myself there is hope
I'm not selfish for being myself.