It's Rainy Again. The Four Day Storm Is Lethargically Pulling It's Rain Filled Belly Across The Sky. The Air Smells Of Crispness And Decaying Leaves; Dampened By The Warm Droplets Of Water Which Collected Upon Them. The Clouds Cast A Gray Shadow Among The Mist Filled Air, Making Even A Smile Seem Somewhat Gray And Tasteless. The Dawn Is Quiet, The Retreat Of Songbirds Evident, The Scent Of Fall Prominent; Clinging To My Clothing. My Eyes Linger, Tracing The Rigid Edges Of The Storm Above. The Masculine Brim Of The Thunderheads Reminded Me Of The Storm Inside Your Eyes, One I Have Witnessed Many Times. One I Have Danced In, Took In, Loved You In. Though Now, Only A Drought Lurks In The Borrows Of My Soul, For You And Your Storm Have Deserted Me, Leaving Nothing But A Calm And Tangible Gray.

Springtime Had Melted,
Within Summer's Newfound Noon,
The Crickets Had Chirped,
Though The Evening Was Faroff,
Lurking Within The Blue Sky

The Scent Of Lush Lawn,
Had Permeated The Air,
The Sparrows Had Sang,
Harmonizing With The Breeze,
And The Finches Beside Them

The White Clouds Had Crawled,
Pulling Themselves Past The Sun,
Casting Shade Upon,
The Tops Of The Greenest Trees,
Who Had Whispered Summer's Hymn

I Am Ready To Smile Again,
I Am Ready To Revisit All Of The Good Memories In That Place I've Been,
I Am Ready To See Friends I Would Take A Bullet For,
I Am Ready To Feel Good All The Way Down To My Core

But,

I'm Not Ready To Go Back,
I'm Not Ready To Be Attacked,
I'm Not Ready To The Faces,
That Try To Ambush Me In Many Different Places,
I'm Not Ready To Walk Down The Hallways Of Hell,
At The Sound Of A Two Toned Bell

But,

Now I Realized,
I Am Stronger Than Any Of The People They Idolize,
I Have Stuck Through Thick And Thin,
But Still They Critize,
Like They've Never Sinned?
Girls Who Cry On The Stairwell,
Call Me A Suicidal Freak,
And Boys Who Can't Spell,
Say My Words Are Weak

But,

Do I Believe Them?
No
Do I Greave Over The Words They Say?
No
Do I Even Really Care?
No
Do I Respect Them?
No
So Why Should They Even Try To Bring Me Down

In The Greyish Blue Of The Dawning Day,
May You Be Safe And Sound In Your Slumber,
Between The Sleepy Trees--May You Dream,
Dream Of Deer Bounding Through The Forest,
Dream Of The Raven Singing From The Trees,
Dream My Love, Dream

Deep In The Trees There You Lay,
Be Free To Sleep Night Or Day,
Sleep In April Then On To May,
Sleep My Love, Until You Desire To Play

In The Greyish Blue Of The Dawning Day,
May You Be Safe And Sound In Your Slumber,
Between The Sleepy Trees--May You Dream,
Dream Of Deer Bounding Through The Forest,
Dream Of The Raven Singing From The Trees,
Dream My Love, Dream

No Storm Shall Awake Thee,
And No Gun Shall Lurk In The Trees,
There Will Be No Sound From Even Me,
Just The Gentle Tune Of The Birds And Bees

In The Greyish Blue Of The Dawning Day,
May You Be Safe And Sound In Your Slumber,
Between The Sleepy Trees--May You Dream,
Dream Of Deer Bounding Through The Forest,
Dream Of The Raven Singing From The Trees,
Dream My Love, Dream

Lavender paints the heavens, lingering
Over an elegant array of cerulean, silk
Gossamers. Rays of sunlight dangling
Among the fringes of distorted clouds,
Nestled within the gleam of your eye.
Soft summer breeze caressing my skin;
A tune you hum fastened in my ear.
Lavish hues seep from your open lips--
Never gray. The foliage beneath you is
Evergreen. Autumn only a memory,
Raw yet fictional.

The Great Creator Sat, Smiling Solemnly,
As He Molded A Soul From River Clay,
He Took In A Deep Breath As He Plucked A Ray,
From The Sun Nearest To Our World,
He Gently Placed It Inside The Earthenware,
Giving It Life--Giving It A Smile

The Great Creator Sat, Pondering It's Housing,
The Soul Sparkled As It Awaited It's Home,
Awaited It's Time To Prosper,
The Great One Took Two Feathers From The Bird,
Who Calls, "Jay", And Placed Those Pale Blue
Feathers Upon The Irises The Soul Would Wear,
He Peered Into The Sea, And Found The Richest,
Darkened Blue Hues Which He Placed Onto The Eyes

The Great Creator Looked In The Most Beautiful Garden,
And Plucked Two Rose Petals, The Palest Pinks,
Then Placed Them As Thin Lips Upon The Face,
He Selected The Golden-Brown Hues Of Wheat,
For The Skin Of Which The Soul Would Wear,
And He Found The Blackest Of The Night Skies,
And Molded It Into Hair

The Great Creator Sculpted The Housing From Granite,
Wrapping It Around The Soul,
He Then Put On The Finishing Touches And Sent The Soul To Earth,
Yet The Soul Did Not Feel At Home,
Therefor,
That Is Why The Great Creator Gave Him,
A Baby Girl

Dawn Returns To A Land Of Darkness,
Shadows Long,
Lights Blinking Quietly,
The Clicking Of Feet On Concrete,
Are Covered By The Roar Of A Giant,
Green Leaves With Flecks Of Yellow,
Surround A Sun Bleached Road,
Last Night's Rain,
Left Marks On Chilled Pavement,
Sunlight Hits Strait On,
Allowing You To See Your Reflection,
Then It Slowly Slips Off Your Face,
Leaving You In Darkness,
A Melody Buzzes In Your Ear,
But You Are To Disoriented,
To Listen To The Words,
A Field Glistens With Waterdroplets,
Dancing In The Suns Returnimg Light,
As A Yellow Monster,
Prowls Along The Road,
Clouds Whispy And Smooth,
Covered By A Bright Blue Sky,
Look Over You Below,
You Pass The Road Of Memories,
The Road Of Old New Beginnings,
And You Keep Going,
With Out Even Turning Your Head,
And As The Sun Slips Behind The,
Dark Whispy Clouds,
You Are Left In The Darkness,
Once Again

What if I were to sleep?
What if I were to fly?
What if I were to leap
From the red bridge nearby?

What if I were to sleep?
What if I were to fly?
What if I were to sing
Forever from the sky?

What if I were to sleep?
What if I were to fly?
What if I were to leap
From the red bridge nearby.

Am I Not Worthy Enough,
To Be Held In The Merciful Arms Of The Divine?
Did I Do Something Wrong?
Or Did You Leave At The First Snowfall?
Am I No Longer Worthy To Know The Unknown?
To Hear The Secrets Of Eternity?
Why Is It That The Most Pure Souls,
Endure So Much Pain?
I've Seen Many Blackened Hearts Be Rewarded,
And It Hurts Me To Watch How Unfair It Is

My Throat Red And Raw,
I Am Drinking From The Sea,
My Reflection Blurred,
Frigid Yet Soft Like The Stars,
My Eyes Dark And Vacant*

                         My Fists Are Clenching,
                      Trembling In Waning Light,
                           I'm Thinking Of You,
                  For I've Dreamed Of You Again;
                           A Pale,  Lonely Memory

You Are Small And Frail,
Wrapped In A Plaid Comforter,
Tears Roll Down Your Cheeks;
You Were Thinking Back To Me,
When Your Hell Had Just Began

                              I'm Biting My Lip,
              While Watching The Leaves Recoil,
                             I Am Fidgeting,
                  Taping My Pen Rhythmically,
                     Trying To Distract Myself

I Breathe In Deeply,
My Heart Is Beating Too Fast,
I Gently Touch You,
You Turned To Look In My Eye,
You Murmured,"Why Are You Here?"

                                I Rub My Forehead,
                        My Palm As Cold As The Air,
                               I Stare At The Ground,
                      My Thoughts Are Disorganized,
                      Strewn Around, Pictures Of You

I've Jumped In The Sea,
Your Sad Eyes Have Seen Me Off,
For Some Strange Reason,
I Don't Feel Satisfaction,
Only A Hint Of Pity

                                   I Do Feel Relieved,
                     Not Because You Have Crumbled,
                                 But Because I'm Free,
                    I Am Free From Your Strained Grasp,
                      For You Had Said That One Word

*Goodbye

The Hardest Thing About Being An Adolescent,
Is Living In This Uncertain Present,
Kids Start Smoking **** In 5th Grade,
And Every Word Is Turned Into A Grenade,
Waiting To Blow,
Waiting To Show,
How Horrible Person You Are,
For Every Little Mistake,
So As I Wish Upon Every Falling Star,
Let Me Retake,
The Test Of Life,
Let Me Strife,
Through The Night,
The Moon Glowing Bright,
So I Can See My Way Down This Desolate,
Path Of Being An Adolescent

Scars Masking My Flesh,
Fate's Talons Are Sharp And Ruthless,
They Aren't Afraid To Make You Bleed

My Heart Deflated,
Dreams Sedated,
I Thought I Made It,
But It Was Just Hallucinated,
Thought I Made It Past The Guns,
But When I Came Up To You, You Held One,
I Started To Run,
But You Shot Me Down,
You Cut My Lips Making A Permanent Frown,  
Now There Is A Surreal Pounding In My Crown,
As You Try To Make Me Accept Your Apology,
You Yelled And Abused,
You Left A Me With Some Bruses,
And A Permanent **** On My Heart,
You Hungry Ghost,
In Ways You Were Crueler Than Most,
You've Added To My Collection If Battle Scars

Hope Slashed My Wrists,
And Sliced My Shoulders,
I Sit Here And Wonder,
When Will This War Ever End*

I'm Terrified,
But I'm Not Leaving,
I'll Fight In This Warful World,
Until I'm No Longer Breathing,
While My Heart Is Lethargically Beating,
I Will Clean The Wound Where I'm Bleeding,
So Don't You Dare,
Try To Defeat Me.....

The March Breeze Seeps Through,
The Pained Window's Tattered Screen,
Passed The Paled Curtains,
Cuddling The House Plant's Green,
Swimming With The Yellow Flame

The Sunsets Were Turning Gray And Colorless,
While The Songs Of Birds Vanished More Everyday,
The Lush Green Of The Fields Turned Brindle,
As The Leaves On The Trees Grew Brown And Brittle

At Dawn Crickets Shook Off Their Frosty Legs,
While Butterflies Thawed In The Weakening Sun,
The Scent Of Fallen Leaves Had Took Hold Of The Air,
As Winter's Fingers Tickled The Rolling Hillsides

The Moon Above The Mississippi Mirrored,
The Warm Silhouette Of The Sleeping Sun,
The Cold Aching Branches Of The Trees Cheered,
For The Day Spring Would Be Set Free And Run,
And As The Days Got Longer And Warmer,
The Moon Felt Free To Leap And Promenade,
Skipping Past Every Stream And Transformer,
The Taste Of It's Song Sweet As Lemonade,
It Exhaled The Bodies Of Fireflies,
As It Glided Across A Lake's Surface,
It Harmonized With The Coyote's Cries,
To Illuminate Upon Dawn's Preface*

In The Black Impending Night Stars Shiver,
As The Moon Disappears In The River

While The Flowers Bloom,
The Sun Greets The Newborn Leaves,
And Sings With The Birds

                         In The Dawning Light
              Butterflies Dance In Spring's Breeze
                           Oh How They Soar

                                                     *In The Noonday Sun
                                       Robins Scuttle In Lush Grass
                                           Grass Which Is Knee High

                          As Dusk Approaches
             Crickets Clear Their Throats To Sing
                          While The Moon Rises

*As The Stars Awake,
The Nocturnal Creatures Stir,
An Eerie Howl Sounds

Artifical Strawberry And Apple Scents Fill The Air,
Chocolate Grazes Starving Lips,
Single Hearts Filled With Despair,
Hungrier Eyes Gaze At Curving Hips,
Pink And Red Petals Coat The Snowy Streets,
Tissues Lay Crumpled In Trash Cans,
Destiny--Boy And Girl Meet,
Does Love Ever Follow It's Original Plans?
Hugs And Kisses Fly In The Bone Chilling Breeze,
But No Words Are Important Enough To Say,
Can I Have A Valentine Please?
Oh Well--It's The Same As Every Other Valentine's Day

As Horses With Blinders We Walk Half Blind,
Hate Grows With A Fury Strong As A Flame,
Ignorance Is Traded Like A Disease,
Cruel Words Infect Every Cell In The Mind,
And Every Mind--Is In Some Type Of Cell,
Caged In A Reality That Doesn't Matter,
But Who Is To Say One Even Does?
Our Souls Are Now Clouded With Confusion,
Our Hearts Centered In Narcissistic Joy,
This City Smog Turning Us Doves,
Into Copies And Clones Of Rock Pigeons,
Twisted Smiles Surreptitiously Lurk,
In Every Corner And Every Hallway,
The Real Question Is--What Have We Become?
It May Be Chiché--Ugly In Physique,
And It May Never Ever Be Answered,
We Know We Have The Power To Change It,
To Change All This Bloodcurdling Chaos,
But I Think The Question Really Is *When Will We

Music Notes Litter My Mixed Mind,
Day Dreaming,
In My Personal Shrine,
Green Eyes Beaming,
The Ones In Which I Lay Behind,
Walls Of Red Bleeding,
Into The Oulets Of Time,
A Composer's Doubt Retreating,
Everything Is Fine,
Black Walls Enclose A Rhythmic Scheming,
The Core Of Life Preserved In A Hearty Rhine,
Dull As The Midnight Moon Gleaming,
Yet Colorful As The Tranquility Of The Divine,
In My Sanctuary Slow Songs Live--Teeming,
Swimming In Black Walls Which Are Entwined,
In A World Worth Believing,
Subdued In The Warm Scent Of Pine,
The Composer Ponders--Her Own Creating,
A Peice Blanketed With A Matrimony Vine,
Black Walls Comfort, After Days Living A Curse,
One That Is Layered In Every Line In Each Verse

The White Snow Glitters In Dying Sunlight,
Underneath Lie Frostbitten Dead Flowers,
I Know Not Of How To Stay Warm Tonight,
The Sun Slowly Dropping Every Hour,
The Tables Have Turned In Utter Despair,
My Muscles Screaming With Every Step I Make,
My Heart Lies Limp And Lame In Winter's Stare,
My Throat Laughs Yet My Soul Is Full Of Ache,
My Lips Chapped And My Eyes Frostly Glazed,
I Walk Aware Of The Panthers And Crows,
I Know I Am Their Prey--My Judgement Hazed,
Creatures Watch As I Walk On Bare Corn Rows,
Yet My Brothers Watch From This Whitened Wood,
I Knew They Would Save Me--I Understood

The Purple Veils Of Twilight Slithered Into The Sky,
Over The Sleek Surface Of The Stream Stars Tango,
Nighttime Prayers Skim Whisps Of Navy Clouds,
In The Reflection Of His Eyes I Found Myself,
Gracious I Let His Soul Sing Me A Sacred Lullaby,
Holding On Tight To Every Word I Wished To Say,
To Every Single Bit Of Beauty I Relished In The Stars

I** Soulfully Sang To The Robins Song At Dusk As The,
Moon Slowly Arose From It's Daytime Slumber

Fields Of Dreams Spread Before Me, As I Slept,
Reminiscing In A World Of Beauty As The,
Evergreens Whispered In My Sleepy Ear, One Last,
Evening Melody, One Last Evening Prayer

Crickets Chirp At Dusk,
Reminding Me It Is Time,
To Climb Into Bed,
And To Shut My Weary Eyes,
To Dream Of You Once Again

The Darkness,
Cups The World,
In Frigid Palms,
Clouds Cover A Starless Sky,
The Season's First Snowfall,
Lands In Dark Crimson Hair,
The Season's Last Birds,
Fly Away,
From The Freezing North,
Leaving Feathers At Fidgeting Feet,
The Season's Last Leaves,
Fall From Their Perches,
Down To Their Frosty Graves

I** Have Been Thinking,
Lately, I Just Think Of You,
Lately I Have Thought,
I Have Thought Of Only You,
Have You Been Thinking Of Me?

Insects Slowly Climbed From Their Winter Sheets,
Making Their Bed With Hardly Any Care,
For The Snow Would Melt Away Any Day Now,
They Could Smell It In The Damp Spring Air

The Newborn Tulips Made The Morning Air Ripe,
In Which Sleepy Spiders Spun Their Silken Strings,
The Winter Fingers Which Gripped The River's Surface,
Slowly Released As Birds Stretched Their Thawing Wings

Music Returned To The No Longer Frigid Night Air,
Stars Swam In The Rejuvenating Eastern Sky,
As Nocturnal Critters Took To The Evenings Again,
With Their Reawakened Bodies Sleek And Sly

I Wish I Could Explain My Current State Of Mind.

A Reflection In The Mirror,
Can Bring You So Much Nearer,
To Insanity,
Watching As Red Pools Collect On The Vanity,
Music Sad And Slow,
Listening To It To Regain Your Glow,
Just One More Emotional Blow,
Can End You Up In A Place You Don't Wanna Be,
In A Place You Can't See,
Other Lives Are Falling Apart Next To Your Own,
You Feel Like You've Grown,
But Have You Really?
Do You Really Believe That?
You Are Roaming The Streets Like An Ally Cat,
And With The Removal Of Another's Hat,
And With A Sudden Splat,
You Know You Messed Up In The Past,
And Now The Way That You Came,
Is Now Open For You To Go

The Moon A Spotlight,
Hugging Me In Its Rays,
Sometimes I Prefer The Darkness,
More Than The Sunlight,
The Tree Branches Sway,
Giving Life To An Abyss,
A Passage For Dreams,
Dreaming About What Life Really Means

Do I Really Belong Here On Earth?
If All I Do Is Put Up A Fake Wall,
Do I Really Have A Light?
Which People Say Glow Inside Of Me,
Do I Really Have Enough Strength Left?
To Make It Another 80+ Years,
I Feel So Fake,
I Feel Like Plastic,
A Tree Trying To Reach The Stars,
But Being Held Back By The Ground

And As Dawn Slowly Approaches,
Dreams Recide With The Dying Moon,
And I Reflect,
As I Stand In The Freezing Breeze,
And As Colors Peak Over The Trees,
I Finally Know,
What Life Means

A Pale Pink Hovered Over The Tree Line,
As Yellow Enlived Winter's Stark Dusk,
The Wood Down Below Was Quiet And Still,
The Snow Laden Trees Firm Yet Picturesque

I Found Myself Watching From My Window,
Supervising The Skies Darkening Blue,
And As I Watched The Sun Lay Down For Rest,
I Found Myself Thinking Of Someone New

You Have Come To Know Me Too Well,
With The Charming Blink Of Your Eye,
I'm Held Captive Under Your Spell,
And When All The Light Has Drawn Nigh,
I Can Still Hear The Ancient Knell,
Ringing Throughout The Nighttime Sky,
And As I Ponder What To Do,
I Find Myself Dreaming Of You