Consider the optimism of alchemy.
See how desperately we strive
to create what we never were
from what we really are.
A stone, a potion, a spell:
anything that can transform us
into the actual we aren't,
into the being we'll never be,
through a pulseless world
of winter, still and lifeless;
where yet, the tantalizing
possibility of Spring
beckons like the ghost
of a beautiful woman
murmuring to us:
*yes I said yes I will Yes.

my dear F,

i'm sorry things turned out this way.

as much as i want to believe that we are the ones who make our own fate, some things just became too heavy for me to carry and i wasn't ready. and believe me, i tried. i tried so hard but it's hard to brawl against something i couldn't even see like destiny, or whatever other word people have for it.

see, i haven't been doing too well. when i look at myself in the mirror i see a houseplant that is about to die. the guilt consumes me more than anything. other days i just feel like a lit candle dying a slow death and this, i accept. i'm sorry i hurt you while i was hurting. i have been a dreadful person.

and i'm sorry this is all i can give you -- another futile attempt to gather my thoughts and then turn them into something not even mildly coherent. but this is all i've got... for now, at least.

i don't know what to say anymore; i just don't want to cry on christmas eve again. i'm sorry i can't go back in time and fix us.

maybe in our next lives, if i'm lucky, you'll find me again.
or i'll find you. either way, i will be waiting.

but i understand if you hate me.

love always,
N

One more breath is done
And then another one
How many more?
I cannot say
Another hour
Another day?
Another year?
How many more?
I cannot say

We walk the path
We have no choice
To stay, to play
Another day
Though we plead
Though we pray
The path we take
Is one-way



Sean Hunt  Dec 24 2016

Let me make this promise fickle
To entomb my complaints morbid
In the impregnable dustbins of
Some anonymous corridors.
Let you invent thousand excuses
To conceal thy wishes ruptured.
Let you deny those eyes scorched
Even the clues of beads priced.
Let's suffer silently in this night
The exultant rays will shine again
Let the swing of time be the Messiah
It will cause our emotions to rise again.

©  Badee Uz Zaman