I hate you.

The blissfulness of our slow beginning made me curious about you, about anything I may one day come to feel for you. I had never experienced something so kind, and gentle. To me, the ease of our relationship came from a mutual feeling of being hurt too many times before but finally finding peace in the other's energy. I was broken when you first met me, believe me my dear, I could tell you were too. I saw kindness in your smile though, so even if I wasn't sure, I agreed to our first date... And our second... And our third. Until finally I realized, I was too broken, too damaged and the fact I saw the same in you made me scared. I was scared to once again become engulfed in saving another man from his own self destruction; losing myself by pouring the light of my heart to fill the cracks made in yours. I did not hurt you and you did not damage me so I made a choice for us, I simply walked away. I knew there was nothing we could offer one another at that time but for some reason I knew, I would come to know you again.

My time apart from you was a mental and spiritual rehabilitation. I regained the light I had once lost and I felt secure enough to finally reach out to you; and without indifference, you accepted. Of course you knew, my walls were still up, high and strong but I feel you found my defensive streak challenging and everyone knows that if it's easy, it's not worth it. You wanted me in every way a man could want a woman but there was always something off. I always felt you were telling me only half of the story, you were only giving me half of you.

Nonetheless, regardless of what you said, my dear you were dating a writer. I found strength in the tone of your voice, I saw pain in your glare, in your smile I found faint hope, and in your walk I saw a worn fighter; in your laughter however, I heard a joy that seemed to have escaped you but found its way back with me. I took what I could from you and ultimately learned from you. Without even trying you taught me more things than anyone has been able to in such a short amount of time. That short time was worth it, those short months that Fall, were worth it.

You ruined us, you ruined the potential we once held. Granted I don't know if that potential was an allusion of an ignorant blissfulness but what I know for sure, you ruined us the moment you decided to go back to her. In all your confusion you knew I was the best for you but she held a spot in your heart that I could not touch, she was the other part of you. The way you asked for another chance from me made me carry a heavy heart because I cared so deeply for you and in the hurt of it all, I couldn't bare to lose you, not yet.

As the season changed and winter blew in, the warm embrace of your arms only felt like a trap to me. I was trapped in what I felt for you and what I knew to be the truth. You were never going to let her go, not then nor now but still I wanted you. Soon enough, you made a choice, to let me go from your embrace. And just like that, you took every short lived memory and feeling of us away from me.

I hate you for loving her.

What's on, what's there
What can't be touched.
What we think makes others beware.
Beware who we are on the inside.

Acne is the unfortunate
addition that causes the poor
young soul to lack,
confidence,
self-esteem,
and pride.

Stop.
You are beautiful.
You need to forget.
Acne is on everyone
You have nothing to regret.

So they judge,
so they criticize.
Secretly pointing out the
pink,
scattered,
stand-out surface
on what used to be
a bare and beautiful face.

Stop.
Every face is beautiful,
but never bare.
Stay optimistic in your attitude.
Look them in the eye,
wink,
and smile when they stare.

You're still and will always be you.
Only your heart speaks the truth.
Of how you create and what is part of
who you are.
Whether broken out or not,
you never
stop being
a beautiful, young,
star.